{"id":329338,"date":"2025-12-04T04:34:30","date_gmt":"2025-12-04T04:34:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/329338\/"},"modified":"2025-12-04T04:34:30","modified_gmt":"2025-12-04T04:34:30","slug":"the-mental-health-toll-caregivers-rarely-talk-about","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/329338\/","title":{"rendered":"The Mental Health Toll Caregivers Rarely Talk About"},"content":{"rendered":"

No one truly understands the weight of caregiving until it\u2019s on their shoulders. Filled with middle-of-the-night worry, hard choices about time and money, and the quiet ache of watching someone you love change, it\u2019s clear why nearly half<\/a> of family caregivers in the U.S. reported anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges in the last year. <\/p>\n

A recent study<\/a> from the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health, sponsored by Otsuka<\/a>, underscores the strain. Among its findings: 24 U.S. states are on the brink of a caregiving crisis; dementia care alone accounts for nearly 40 percent of unpaid support; and states which have a greater percentage of their population living in rural areas face the steepest staffing shortages, leaving family members to fill the gaps. In short, millions of Americans are quietly propping up a system that can\u2019t function without them. <\/p>\n

\u201cCaregivers are doing the equivalent of a second full-time job while navigating complex systems,\u201d says John McHugh, PhD<\/a>, a Columbia health-policy researcher and lead investigator on the report. \u201cWe have to meet their mental health needs with the same urgency and compassion as their loved ones\u2019 physical needs.\u201d <\/p>\n

Behind the statistics are real people juggling households, careers, and relationships while caring for someone who can no longer fully care for themselves. We spoke with three of them about the realities of caregiving\u2014and the resources that keep them going.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s real grief in losing parts of yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Patti LaFleur began caring for her mom, who had early-onset dementia, more than 15 years ago. When her father fell ill, she stepped into full-time care, and the resulting stress was life changing. \u201cMy sleep, my marriage, even my appetite were affected,\u201d LaFleur says. \u201cEventually, I had to step away from my job as a teacher, a career that gave me purpose. It felt like losing a piece of my identity. I also saw myself as a good friend, but caregiving made me feel like I lost that, too. There\u2019s real grief in losing parts of yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"pattiCourtesy of Subject<\/p>\n

Patti LaFleur with her mother, whom she\u2019s cared for through dementia.<\/p>\n

One of the most overlooked aspects of caregiving, she says, is isolation\u2014a \u201ccompletely alone\u201d feeling in both an emotional and logistical sense. \u201cMy mom couldn\u2019t be left on her own for more than 15 minutes,\u201d LaFleur says. \u201cRespite care was too expensive, so I missed out on things I loved, like spending time with friends or even something as simple as walking around the mall.\u201d<\/p>\n

As her mom\u2019s dementia progressed, LaFleur experienced what\u2019s called anticipatory grief: \u201cgrieving my mom while she was still alive,\u201d she says. When burnout hit, Patti got connected with a virtual organization called Lorenzo\u2019s House that supports younger families like hers and it became her lifeline. \u201cLogging into that video call was a gift,\u201d LaFleur says. \u201cBeing in a virtual room with people who truly understood was everything. My advice for others is to find your community, even just two or three people you can lean on: a friend, a family member, or a mental health professional.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCaregiving has changed me.\u201d<\/p>\n

At 35, Jackie Shapiro is caring for her mom, who lives with frontotemporal dementia (FTD), while also raising her young son. \u201cMy mental health isn\u2019t in a great place right now, and I know I\u2019m not alone in that,\u201d she says. \u201cMost caregivers I know are just trying to get through each day. I don’t know a single person in this boat who\u2019s saying they\u2019re living their best life right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"jackieCourtesy of Subject<\/p>\n

Jackie Shapiro with her son, balancing caregiving and motherhood.<\/p>\n

Shapiro doesn\u2019t sugarcoat her daily realities or the steady anxiety that leaves her on edge. \u201cIf someone had told me early on that I\u2019d have to help with basic human needs like feeding, bathing, and dressing, it would have prepared me better than just hearing about neurocognitive decline,\u201d she says. \u201cI live in a constant state of alert,\u201d she says. \u201cIf my dad calls instead of texts, I assume it\u2019s an emergency. That\u2019s my baseline now\u2014always bracing for the worst.\u201d<\/p>\n

To cope, Shapiro leans on therapy, exercise, and a routine that keeps her tethered. \u201cI take my dog out every morning and then hit the gym,\u201d she says. \u201cI needed someone to talk to\u2014someone who wasn\u2019t my husband or my dog\u2014so I got a therapist who\u2019s teaching me about finding balance and making time for myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCaregiving has changed me,\u201d she reflects. \u201cI\u2019ve lost parts of myself, but I\u2019ve also gained resilience, adaptability, and a deeper emotional awareness. This is a dark chapter of my life. I know I\u2019ll look back and say, \u2018That was horrible.\u2019 But these are the cards I was dealt. I\u2019m in survival mode.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGrief is a constant part of caregiving.\u201d<\/p>\n

In Atlanta, 41-year-old Aisha Adkins has spent more than a decade caregiving\u2014first for her mom, who had FTD, and now for her father, who has vascular dementia. \u201cCaregiving has impacted my mental health,\u201d she says. \u201cI have a lot of anxiety about the future and a lot of depression about the present and the past. I\u2019ve experienced night terrors and many of the classic symptoms of PTSD.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"twoCourtesy of Subject<\/p>\n

Aisha Adkins with her dad, now in her care with dementia.<\/p>\n

The hardest moments were when her mother didn\u2019t recognize her. \u201cWe were strangers to her, and she was afraid of us,\u201d Adkins says. \u201cNo matter how often it happened, it was always devastating. I never got used to it. You slowly lose the person you knew\u2014their personality, their traits\u2014and eventually, you lose them entirely. Grief is a constant part of caregiving.\u201d<\/p>\n

When she couldn\u2019t find therapists who understood her experience as a young Black woman, Adkins sought culturally competent care. \u201cThere\u2019s something powerful and unspoken about shared identity. It feels like coming home,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Adkins now leads a nonprofit connecting BIPOC caregivers to mental-health resources. \u201cHelping others brings resilience and hope,\u201d she says. \u201cIt reminds me I\u2019m not alone\u2014and that this work matters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s time we started talking about caregiver mental health.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Columbia report, America\u2019s Unseen Workforce: The State of Family Caregiving<\/a>, sponsored by Otsuka, put hard data behind the above stories, highlighting a growing sense of urgency. \u201cWe need to start seeing care for our aging loved ones as a critical component of the country\u2019s well-being,\u201d McHugh says. \u201cIt\u2019s just as important as any other aspect of healthcare.\u201d<\/p>\n

When systems fall short, caregivers spend more time navigating red tape and less time sleeping, exercising, or connecting\u2014exactly the activities that enable them to protect their mental health. \u201cWe\u2019re seeing repeatedly that it is the family caregiver who shoulder the immense pressures of healthcare shortages,\u201d McHugh says, as the above stories illustrate.<\/p>\n

Otsuka has made a corporate commitment<\/a> to stand with caregivers the way they stand with their loved ones by funding research that shines a light on the crisis and offering valuable tools and resources for ongoing support. The Columbia report findings underscore the need to advocate for more support, including better training, wages, and practical assistance that make daily life more livable. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s time we started talking about caregiver mental health,\u201d says LaFleur. \u201cIt\u2019s a very real challenge.\u201d <\/p>\n

Individuals featured in this story are paid collaborators of Otsuka America Pharmaceutical, Inc.<\/p>\n

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