{"id":33017,"date":"2025-07-24T05:47:12","date_gmt":"2025-07-24T05:47:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/33017\/"},"modified":"2025-07-24T05:47:12","modified_gmt":"2025-07-24T05:47:12","slug":"why-my-book-about-fatherhood-drew-protesters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/33017\/","title":{"rendered":"Why my book about fatherhood drew protesters."},"content":{"rendered":"

Sign up for the Slatest<\/a> to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe situation has escalated a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n

I got the email just as I boarded my flight to Boston for the second stop on my book tour. Brookline Booksmith was hosting an event for my memoir, Becoming Baba. It\u2019s not a polemic. It\u2019s about having Muslim parents and then trying yourself to raise Muslim kids in a country that can often be hostile toward people like us. It\u2019s written to chronicle what Arab fathers everywhere are feeling, and so my memoir does include a short chapter narrating my heartbreak when I watch footage of the aftermath of Israeli airstrikes and witness lifeless toddlers, pulled from the rubble in Gaza, who resemble my own. How could it not?<\/p>\n

For a subset of local pro-Israel activists, that was too much. I hadn\u2019t known, but the email explained that since announcing my event, the staff at the Boston bookstore were being called on to cancel my reading. When it became apparent the store wouldn\u2019t be doing so, the activists began planning a protest.<\/p>\n

The email asked if I wanted to cancel. But the event was sold out. How could I risk turning away people who were traveling from far away to attend? I replied that I was still coming.<\/p>\n

That evening in Boston turned out to be one of the strangest, most revealing experiences on my book tour. A group of demonstrators with Israeli flags formed a picket line, forcing anyone who wanted to attend to make their way past them. I wanted to know why the book, which I think of as a gentle, introspective work by a Muslim undergoing the biggest change in his life, warranted this type of opposition. So I showed up early and went out to meet the protesters directly. I wanted to understand why my presence was being treated like a threat. I hoped there was something worth salvaging in that exchange.<\/p>\n

\"Protesters<\/p>\n

Protesters demonstrating during the author\u2019s book reading.
\nAmy K. Nelson<\/p>\n

Outside the bookstore, the tension was immediate. A cluster of protesters waved enormous Israeli flags, the kind you\u2019d expect to see atop a government building. A silent counterprotest barely registered, just two Jewish women holding poster boards with images of emaciated Palestinians. Peace marshals from Jewish Voice for Peace stood nearby in neon vests, projecting the calm authority of seasoned school chaperones. I\u2019d seen marshals like them at left-wing rallies before, usually working to intervene and de-escalate tension before things spiraled into violence. This time, they were there to protect a business and its patrons, people who just wanted to attend a reading or shop in peace. It was clear I was stepping into a community that had been embattled long before my book arrived.<\/p>\n

One store employee, who asked not to be named, told me I was stepping into a much longer local campaign. \u201cIt\u2019s not just you,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s pretty much a community culture war now.\u201d<\/p>\n

I had gotten there a few hours early, hoping to settle in before the crowd arrived. Inside, it was just a really beautiful neighborhood bookstore. A few staffers wore kaffiyehs, a few yarmulkes. The shelves held everything from Palestinian poetry to Alan Dershowitz. Customers browsed quietly; one woman thumbed through travel books, and a man sat on the floor leafing through a paperback in the fiction aisle. I made a beeline for the robust children\u2019s section to pick out something for my kids. Like any beloved indie bookstore, this was a place for exploring, bumping into old friends, or finding a Boston-themed butter dish to buy as a quirky gift. There was virtually everything in stock. Even protesters I had recognized from outside had smiles plastered on as they looked through the options.<\/p>\n

Still, the scene playing out in front of the store was impossible to ignore. I stepped outside to approach the protesters. I didn\u2019t expect to change anyone\u2019s mind, but I was genuinely curious: Who were these people who found my memoir so threatening? If they could see me, just a person standing calmly in front of them, maybe we could get past the idea of people as politics. I hoped that by meeting them face-to-face, I could remind them I wasn\u2019t just an abstraction to rally against. I was a human being. I was here to promote my book, not to make any passive threats against anyone.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d closely read the earlier warning from the events coordinator, especially the part about Scott Hayes, a former U.S. Army service member present that day who had been involved in a shooting at a prior demonstration. (His charges are set to be dismissed in September if he follows certain conditions<\/a>.) He had organized the protest outside and had been the first to arrive, hoisting an enormous American flag and an Israeli flag, wearing a shirt that read: \u201cI Am a Zionist.\u201d<\/p>\n

I introduced myself. \u201cI know who you are,\u201d he said, then turned to another protester: \u201cHe\u2019s the author.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hayes was calm and disarmingly courteous. He said he had nothing against me personally and promised to police the others if anyone got disruptive. \u201cCome get me and I\u2019ll drag them the hell out,\u201d he said, smiling.<\/p>\n

He claimed that this wasn\u2019t a protest, just \u201ca pro-Jewish solidarity presence\u201d in a heavily Jewish neighborhood. He repeatedly asked the others, each equipped with massive Israeli flags, to keep the sidewalk clear, but the sheer size of the flags made that impossible. Every few minutes, they were heckled by passersby. A woman muttered \u201cFree Palestine\u201d as she brushed past. Another called them \u201cNazis.\u201d One protester shouted at a woman who had arrived to counterprotest: \u201cYou\u2019re Jewish, but you like Hamas!\u201d and \u201cYou\u2019re supporting people who say \u2018Kill all the Jews.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

An Israeli woman tried reasoning with Hayes, telling him she was \u201cembarrassed\u201d by her country. He shrugged off the civilian death toll and said there was \u201csomething rotten in Palestinian culture.\u201d<\/p>\n

He told me the protest was in response to my book, as well as my moderator, Mafaz Al-Suwaidan: \u201cShe\u2019s crossed the line into antisemitism.\u201d When pressed, he pointed to her anti-Zionist activism at Harvard University, where she is a Ph.D. candidate. \u201cAnti-Zionism,\u201d he said, \u201cis just a shield for antisemitism.\u201d<\/p>\n

I suggested that it might be possible he was misinterpreting political critique as hate. \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cBecause I consider the broader context.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then a woman named Pearl approached, asking aggressively if I myself was Palestinian. Before I could answer her, a store staffer tapped me on the shoulder. The event was starting. So I headed inside.<\/p>\n

The protest outside my event at Brookline Booksmith didn\u2019t come out of nowhere. It was the culmination of a yearlong campaign that store leadership had watched unfold in real time.<\/p>\n

According to Lisa Gozashti-Riddle, Brookline\u2019s longtime co-owner and manager, the shift began in January 2024, after the store had hosted a virtual poetry fundraiser for Mosab Abu Toha, a celebrated Palestinian poet whose English-language library in Gaza had just been destroyed by Israel. \u201cWe had 20 poets from around the world, including Mosab, who joined us from Egypt,\u201d she told me. They raised more than $30,000 to purchase and ship books to a new library in Gaza upon reconstruction.<\/p>\n

After that, the threats started. \u201cI was trying to protect my staff while fielding all the calls myself,\u201d she said. One caller asked to speak to \u201cHitler.\u201d Someone else, in a message, said that Gazans \u201cdon\u2019t read books. They only want guns.\u201d To avoid another flare-up, the store moved pro-Palestinian programming online.<\/p>\n

But the scrutiny didn\u2019t stop. \u201cPeople started coming in daily to count the number of Palestinian books we had. I\u2019ve seen the spreadsheets, the circle graphs, the reports they\u2019ve sent out accusing us of bias.\u201d Some called the store a \u201chotbed for Islamic fundamentalism\u201d and accused it of \u201cinculcating the youth.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then came Becoming Baba. \u201cThis wasn\u2019t a book we flagged,\u201d Gozashti-Riddle said. But the emails came anyway. Some asserted that hosting me was \u201can act of incitement.\u201d One message said, \u201cWe can overlook the author, but if that woman attends, you\u2019re sending a message that pro-Israel Jews aren\u2019t safe at Booksmith.\u201d The message linked to Canary Mission<\/a>. \u201cThat was a watershed moment,\u201d Gozashti-Riddle said. \u201cWe realized the people organizing this weren\u2019t rational. And when you\u2019re dealing with that level of irrationality, it\u2019s scary.\u201d<\/p>\n

So the staff took precautions: installing peace marshals from Jewish Voice for Peace and alerting local police. \u201cAfter your event, I finally started using the word harassment,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Jed Smith, co-owner and son of the store\u2019s founders, said that since Oct. 7 the atmosphere had changed. \u201cI saw one comment from a longtime customer who said, \u2018On Oct. 8, I decided not to go to that bookstore anymore.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

\"The<\/p>\n

The author speaking with moderator Mafaz Al-Suwaidan.
\nAmy K. Nelson<\/p>\n

Smith said staffers had vetted me and my book closely for anything incendiary but had \u201cfound none\u201d of the content people had warned them about. They consulted with the American Booksellers Association, American Booksellers for Free Expression, the National Coalition Against Censorship, and local police. They chose not to postpone my event or move it online.<\/p>\n

Smith added that, although the store still had patrons\u2019 support, the campaign had taken a toll. \u201cOur customers walked right through the protest lines,\u201d he said. \u201cWe have tremendous community support. We have a lot of love. I\u2019m also scared shitless. Seriously. I\u2019m scared about our employees\u2019 safety. And we have to make decisions that are not easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the event began in Brookline Booksmith, it felt like entering a different emotional register. The space was standing room only. Still, the protest outside was visible through the big front windows, and a few protesters had taken seats in the first row, arms crossed, staring down my moderator, Mafaz, and me.<\/p>\n

Before we began, Mafaz turned to me and joked about a sign that read \u201cMafaz is Xamas.\u201d \u201cI thought it said \u2018Mafaz Is Christmas!\u2019 \u201d she said, setting a warm tone for the conversation that followed.<\/p>\n

She opened by addressing the moment: \u201cMoral clarity invites backlash. If these are the consequences for standing against a genocide, then I\u2019m proud to bear them.\u201d A heckler shouted \u201cGenocide by Hamas!\u201d but the room didn\u2019t take the bait.<\/p>\n

What followed was what I\u2019d hoped for, a thoughtful conversation about Islam and parenthood across generations. Mafaz asked about the centrality of women in a book about masculinity, about fatherhood as a spiritual project, and about how my mom felt about my rehashing, in such a public way, the story of her catching me with a girl at home.<\/p>\n

The protesters in the front row didn\u2019t disrupt the discussion, but their presence was intimidating. When Mafaz asked me to speak about Gaza, I hesitated. I knew that the demonstrators were waiting to pounce on anything they could frame as unbalanced.<\/p>\n

I answered cautiously. I talked about my lived experience, the grief of seeing mangled children pulled from the rubble who look like my own. I didn\u2019t try to provoke. I focused on speaking plainly and without flinching.<\/p>\n

The store was packed with readers who had carved out time, traveled across town, brought their kids or their friends. About half were Muslim or Arab, and the goal of the reading was the same as writing the book: to have the kind of honest, unguarded conversation that\u2019s so rare when you\u2019re used to being talked about. I wrote it to reflect our inner lives and to offer something tender and searching and real. And that night, despite everything happening outside, that\u2019s exactly what we made room for.<\/p>\n

After the event, a long line formed. One of the protesters leaped to the front. She introduced herself as Sheila. She told me she had read the book the day it came out. All of it. \u201cI have a couple of concerns,\u201d she said, her hands and lips visibly shaking. She challenged me on why I hadn\u2019t included more about Israeli suffering and why Palestinians weren\u2019t sheltering in Hamas\u2019 tunnels. When I pointed out that 2023 had already been the deadliest year on record for Palestinian children before Oct. 7, she replied: \u201cThose are kids with guns.\u201d<\/p>\n

I offered to sign her book. \u201cNot now,\u201d she said with a smile.<\/p>\n

Peace marshals eventually nudged her along, but I offered to keep the conversation going by exchanging contact info.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

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\n This Content is Available for Slate Plus members only<\/p>\n

I Wrote a Book About Being a Dad. Pro-Israel Protesters Showed Up to Object. I Asked Them Why.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n


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Did the Coldplay Kiss-Cam CEO Really Have to Get Fired?
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I wrote Becoming Baba to unpack the pressure of passing down to your kids a faith your parents fought to preserve. Since publishing it, I\u2019ve been moved to hear from readers that this struggle feels deeply human and relatable to anyone who grew up with religion, not just Muslims. The same goes for Gaza. You don\u2019t need to be Arab or Muslim to feel something when you see those images. I can\u2019t stand to hear my own kids cry for even a minute. I can\u2019t imagine how those parents in Gaza must feel. But I know how I feel. And in a story about becoming a parent while this is happening, that grief becomes part of it. Tens of thousands of children are confirmed dead, with many more still uncounted, buried beneath the rubble. Of course I feel something. I expect you to feel something too. Especially parents.<\/p>\n

My book only briefly mentions Gaza\u2019s parents and kids, and it triggers protests.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t expect to change Sheila\u2019s mind. But I hope she and others like her might simply let us breathe.<\/p>\n

My book mentions Oct. 7, including the killing and kidnapping of Israelis. But given the wasteland Gaza has been reduced to\u2014the inconceivable yet still rising death toll, and the ongoing merciless penning in of starving civilians, including shooting them as they try to retrieve single sacks of flour\u2014I hoped she could understand why I wrote about Gaza.<\/p>\n

I hoped that, for once, Arab and Muslim writers might not be asked to grieve on tiptoe and only if it never makes others uncomfortable, or else that grief will be reframed as somehow threatening.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n Aymann Ismail
\n I Heard Lots of Tales of What Fatherhood Would Bring. One Trip Showed Me Like No Other.
\n Read More\n <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

If she felt that this was impossible, if her politics couldn\u2019t accommodate even a flicker of sadness for Palestinians without applying equal or greater sadness to Israelis, I hoped she might consider why she had drifted from the compassion and perspective she demanded of me.<\/p>\n

Or, at the very least, I hoped she might ask herself why the mere mention of dead Palestinian children made her visibly shake.<\/p>\n

Days later, Sheila emailed me to say she\u2019d returned my book.<\/p>\n

It became evident to me that she didn\u2019t want balance. She wanted me to know my place in her emotional hierarchy. Her grief had to come first. Mine required a disclaimer. \u201cNot a thought in the world,\u201d she wrote, for the horror Israelis experienced, \u201cthat no Palestinian EVER experienced.\u201d<\/p>\n

More than 50,000 children in Gaza have been reportedly killed or injured since October 2023, in what UNICEF calls<\/a> a \u201charrowing list of unimaginable horrors.\u201d More remain uncounted, as they are still missing under the rubble.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Sign up for Slate’s evening newsletter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":33018,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[223,88,5618,803,2485,2564,2229,6843],"class_list":{"0":"post-33017","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-books","8":"tag-books","9":"tag-entertainment","10":"tag-gaza","11":"tag-israel","12":"tag-palestine","13":"tag-protests","14":"tag-religion","15":"tag-slate-plus"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33017","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33017"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33017\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33018"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33017"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33017"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33017"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}