Dear Eric: I had a pancreas transplant in 2018. Due to this, along with celiac disease, I\u2019m on a very restricted and medically controlled diet. There are very few things I can safely eat. However, I find during the holidays people attempt to make me special food during parties and get-togethers.<\/p>\n
I normally do not eat at other people\u2019s homes due to food preparations and sanitary concerns for my transplant,\u00a0as well as not being able to verify a gluten-free environment when the food was made.<\/p>\n
How should I handle when people bring food to these gatherings or mention that they made me something special? I don\u2019t want to be rude because I know it was done in love, but I also don\u2019t want to get sick or risk cross contamination. How should I respond without hurting someone\u2019s feelings?<\/p>\n
\u2013 Medically Compromised<\/p>\n
Dear Medically Compromised: You and your medical team are the experts on keeping yourself healthy and safe. So, don\u2019t be afraid to be clear with friends about what you will and won\u2019t do. If bruised feelings occur, those friends may not be listening to nor believing you in the way that they need to, so the onus is on them.<\/p>\n
When talking about your practices regarding food, frame them as universal, rather than personal, and non-negotiable. \u201cIt\u2019s so thoughtful of you to make me something. But I can\u2019t eat anything outside of the home because there are too many variables. It\u2019s not about you; I would eat it if I could and I appreciate the thought.\u201d<\/p>\n
In some cases, it can be helpful to let your hosts know in advance, perhaps when you\u2019re RSVPing. \u201cFor the ease of your planning, I wanted to remind you that I don\u2019t eat outside of the home for medical reasons. So, no need to prepare anything for me. But don\u2019t worry: I\u2019ll have a wonderful time regardless.\u201d<\/p>\n
Read more Asking Eric<\/a> and other advice columns.<\/a><\/p>\n Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com<\/a> or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram<\/a> and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n