New Year\u2019s Eve on CNN<\/a>.) Venus, in a confessional, alludes to Marcus drinking more than he should, and, yes, drinking on the clock seems less like everyone does it and more like everyone who has a problem does it.<\/p>\nWhen Marcus goes in to meet with Lisa about what he did wrong, he brings her a clutch of supermarket roses. Flowers? To a work meeting? This isn\u2019t a date. He\u2019s not trying to woo her into doing something she\u2019ll regret as she\u2019s at CVS, ringing the buzzer to get some Plan B. He\u2019s trying to get his job back. Show some respect. He tells Lisa that the reason he looks so worn out is that he lost his father at the beginning of the pandemic and he lost his mother a few months ago. He\u2019s currently in mourning and that\u2019s why he\u2019s fucking up. Lisa Vanderpump, who has never met a damaged man she hasn\u2019t gone out of her way to accommodate, tells him that he can have his job back, but she\u2019s going to set up grief counseling for him.<\/p>\n
The other person who has no idea how work functions is Natalie. Demy had to write her up after she got into a massive fight with her ex in the middle of the restaurant on her night off and she got kicked off the premises. Demy goes to look for this bartender behind the bar, where she should be, and her co-worker says she took off a while ago. Demy goes searching and finally finds Natalie. \u201cYou\u2019ve been gone for like an hour,\u201d Demy says. Natalie says she wasn\u2019t gone for an hour and that Demy is being dramatic. Thanks to the editors, we know that she was away from her post for 27 minutes. That\u2019s nearly the longest federally regulated break for an eight-hour shift. Unless she was on break and her supervisor, who I\u2019m assuming is Demy, knew about it, she was not working for quite a bit of time. Yes, it wasn\u2019t \u201can hour,\u201d but even ten minutes away is too long. If you\u2019re on the clock and not where you\u2019re supposed to be, you are in the wrong.<\/p>\n
Natalie decides to make it worse and keep arguing with her boss. Even if your boss is wrong, they\u2019re still right. What doesn\u2019t Natalie get about this? This is not a fight she can win because Demy, at any point, can say, \u201cWell, you\u2019re fired.\u201d She needs to check that attitude right quick. Because Natalie thinks Demy is being \u201cdramatic,\u201d she won\u2019t sign the paperwork she needs to, saying she\u2019ll only sign it with Guillermo, Lisa\u2019s co-owner, who looks just like George Clooney in a cheap hat. Well, Guillermo told Demy to get Natalie to sign it, so she doesn\u2019t get to go over Demy\u2019s head and say she\u2019s only talking to the big boss. The big boss doesn\u2019t want to be bothered with this petty bullshit, which is why he deputized Demy to deal with it. That is exactly what he tells her when she says that she\u2019ll only sign the paperwork with him. I mean, does this woman not know what having a job entails?<\/p>\n
We needed all this work drama because, so far, the personal drama isn\u2019t hitting for me. We get to see Venus, who is apparently a \u201cmanifestation coach,\u201d sit in his living room scribbling in notebooks and trying to out Los Angeles in the woo-woo Olympics. We get Chris talking to his dad on FaceTime and telling us that he wants to model for John Varvatos. Sorry, but you\u2019re a 31-year-old reality star with an OnlyFans. Johnny V. is not calling. It\u2019s time to find another dream.<\/p>\n
Chris is getting his flirt on with Audrey, and we know that sparks are flying because they talked about ice cream for, like, 30 minutes. Oh, the scintillating conversation! Let\u2019s get Gore Vidal and turn this into an episode of the Dick Cavett show already. Audrey also tells him that she has a horse named Oreo, but then, in a confessional, she says it\u2019s her friend\u2019s horse and she just takes care of it. Um, that does not mean you have a horse. That means your friend occasionally lets you borrow the horse because you work for it. Just because Lisa gives her a free meal at SUR does not mean she owns the property.<\/p>\n
The rest of the episode is taken up by Audrey\u2019s 22nd-birthday party, which she throws on the roof of a hotel even though the Angelenos think it is freezing and they\u2019re huddled by the heaters like teenagers in front of Supreme when there is about to be a new drop. While it is Audrey\u2019s birthday, it is Demy who has quickly become my favorite. First, she told off Natalie for being a terrible employee. Then when she found out how old Audrey is turning, she said, \u201cWho turns 22? That\u2019s so unfair.\u201d Amen, sister. But the best line of the night comes when Natalie tries to talk to Kim, who is ignoring her, so Natalie says she\u2019s going to walk away. \u201cWhere are you going?\u201d Demy asks. \u201cWe\u2019re on a roof!\u201d Ironically, that is the last thing Katie Maloney Schwartz Maloney said right before she fell through a skylight. Yeah, that was #TooSoon. Sorry, Katie.<\/p>\n
The reason that Natalie and Kim are beefing is because Kim doesn\u2019t like that Marcus and Natalie are becoming friends. Natalie thinks it\u2019s unfair that Kim is mad at her. She says that Kim and Marcus fight and break up all the time, and that is what Kim is mad about. She says she doesn\u2019t want to have to deal with the consequences of them fighting all the time. No. That\u2019s not what she\u2019s dealing with. She\u2019s dealing with the consequences of being a boyfriend stealer, and Kim not being able to trust her around her man.<\/p>\n
I thought this was all Natalie\u2019s fault because she stole Demy\u2019s boyfriend and Kim couldn\u2019t trust her. How stupid of me. Of course, this isn\u2019t a woman\u2019s fault; it is a man\u2019s fault. The more we find out about this fight, the more it is clear that Marcus is almost entirely to blame. Apparently, he told Kim that Natalie was texting him pictures of herself wearing high heels, but what she really texted was that she just bought some because he said she needed to wear more of them. No pictures at all. He told Kim that Natalie was the one who said they were like brother and sister, but he is the one who said that and, as someone handily translates, \u201cwe\u2019re like brother and sister\u201d is straight-guy-speak for, \u201cI want to fuck her and she won\u2019t let me.\u201d It seems Marcus was leading Kim to believe this was all Natalie\u2019s doing, when the opposite is true.<\/p>\n
When she tries to confront him about it at Audrey\u2019s party, he storms off and won\u2019t even talk. His girlfriend has legit gripes and he\u2019s just ignoring them. She says that whenever she criticizes him or tries to talk about their relationship, he gets upset and breaks up with her. Earlier in the episode, Marcus\u2019s brother asks if he\u2019s making Kim feel secure in their relationship. He says he does. \u201cWe\u2019re still having sex and all that,\u201d he says. Wait, so this guy thinks that just by boning her he\u2019s keeping her secure in the relationship when he dumps her the minute she tries to correct his behavior and he won\u2019t stop talking to the girl who is a known boyfriend stealer that his girlfriend wants him to stop talking to? No wonder Kim is an absolute mess in this dynamic, because he\u2019s making it that way.<\/p>\n
While Audrey\u2019s party started with Kim ignoring Natalie, it ends with Kim running to Natalie to cry on her shoulder and complain about Marcus. She has the drunk-girl sobs about a terrible boyfriend that she\u2019s trying to hold on to that she should obviously dump. It\u2019s like every party you ever attended when you\u2019re 22. Except this is Audrey\u2019s birthday and she has former professional strippers Chris and Jason there. Chris gets on her lap and starts grinding, eventually turning around, putting his feet on either side of her head and twerking right in the birthday girl\u2019s face. Kim lets out a sob and a hank of Natalie\u2019s hair clings to her tears. Jason takes a turn, ripping his shirt off to expose his impossible abdominals while grinding in her lap. Audrey is screaming. She\u2019s turned on. Kim is also screaming, but about Marcus. She is not turned on, she is turned out. That\u2019s what we get, back and forth, foreground and background, flesh and tears, dancing and sobbing, sex and regret.<\/p>\n
Just at that moment, Katie Maloney Schwartz Maloney shows up and starts turning the taps on the propane of all the heaters. The fires die down inside the plastic tubes just as they have died down in Kim and Marcus\u2019s relationship. She goes to each heater, popping open the little door in the base, futzing with its innards, and rendering it cold and lifeless. The revelers run from one to the next, the huddles getting closer as the packs get larger. But Katie won\u2019t stop. She keeps twisting, keeps shutting it down. She knows one thing these kids will never get: The party is already over.<\/p>\n
Vanderpump Rules<\/p>\n
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