{"id":340759,"date":"2025-12-10T09:45:31","date_gmt":"2025-12-10T09:45:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/340759\/"},"modified":"2025-12-10T09:45:31","modified_gmt":"2025-12-10T09:45:31","slug":"matriarchs-death-prompts-mental-health-reckoning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/340759\/","title":{"rendered":"Matriarch’s Death Prompts Mental Health Reckoning"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"At Saturday\u2019s candlelight vigil on the Grand Avenue Bridge. Credit: Abiba Biao photos<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s Note: This article discusses self-harm, suicide, and mental-health crises. Please take care while reading. If you or someone you know needs help, call 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or text 741741 for the Crisis Text Line.<\/p>\n

When Cheryl Hill vanished around Thanksgiving and her late son\u2019s birthday, her community rallied in a desperate search, ultimately uncovering the tragedy that the 69-year-old New Havener had taken her own life in the Quinnipiac River.<\/p>\n

Now, Hill\u2019s 35-year-old daughter Olivia plans to channel her grief into raising awareness around the importance of mental health \u2014 especially for Black women like her mother.<\/p>\n

Cheryl Hill<\/a>, a New Haven native, died by suicide on Nov. 29. Her death took place two days after Thanksgiving, a week after the anniversary of her late son\u2019s birthday, and a month after the anniversary of her late sister\u2019s death.<\/p>\n

Hill\u2019s first-born son, Elder Jamarr Myrick, passed away in March 2024. Her sister, Lou Ann Brown, whom she shares a birthday with, died a few months later.<\/p>\n

In a recent interview with the Independent, Hill\u2019s daughter Olivia recalled her mother as a classic strong matriarch who made sure to take care of others despite struggling through lifelong grief stemming from her family\u2019s many losses. \u201cIt\u2019s way too common that the Black matriarch of the family suffers in silence,\u201d Olivia said.<\/p>\n

Over the years, Cheryl Hill supported her family, her church, and her community, all while struggling with what her family described as depression.<\/p>\n

Olivia\u2019s family is now raising funds to pay for Cheryl\u2019s funeral services. She said that her mom\u2019s well-invested life insurance policy was voided due to cause of death. Click here<\/a> to support the Hill family.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, this past Saturday evening, over 100 friends, family, and loved ones of Cheryl gathered at the Grand Avenue Bridge for a candlelight vigil. Members of Elm City COMPASS, Mobile Crisis Intervention Services, and the CT Mental Health Center Mobile Crisis and Evaluation Unit were in attendance to provide help.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to my cousin has devastated our family. [It] has devastated our family,\u201d said one of the vigil\u2019s attendees, Thretha Green. \u201cShe is the most loving person. She gave her all to the last day.\u201d (See below for more on Saturday\u2019s vigil.)<\/p>\n

\u201cHer Community Made Sure To Find Her\u201d<\/p>\n

Cheryl was last seen at her home in Beaver Hills by her daughter and granddaughter on Friday, Nov. 28, the day after Thanksgiving. Ring camera footage showed her leaving the house at 4:50 p.m. She was reported missing at 9 a.m. on Saturday, Nov. 29 because she didn\u2019t come home. Her car was found by police parked near the Grand Avenue Bridge in Fair Haven Heights.<\/p>\n

Olivia\u2019s friend Candice quickly jumped into action to make a missing person\u2019s poster<\/a> for her and the community to share on social media.<\/p>\n

The search started the morning of Nov. 29 by police and by Cheryl\u2019s community. Olivia said when she realized her mom still hadn\u2019t returned home, she visited her aunt in West Haven to see if Cheryl was there, but she wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Olivia called her neighbor and family members asking them to help her find her mother. She then met police at Cheryl\u2019s car at Quinnpiac Avenue and East Grand Avenue. She used the spare key she had to her mom\u2019s car to open the trunk and found her mother\u2019s personal belongings, like her purse and cellphone.<\/p>\n

Olivia continued to check other potential locations for her mom, like the Arden House hopsice care center in Hamden and Myrick\u2019s grave. <\/p>\n

Then, at 2:20 p.m. that same day, Olivia received a call from her neighbor \u2014 a family friend who asked to remain anonymous for this story. That neighbor informed Olivia that he had recovered her mom\u2019s body over a mile up the Quinnipiac River.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how important she is. Her community made sure to find her no matter what,\u201d Olivia said.<\/p>\n

The neighbor who found Cheryl\u2019s body in the Quinnipiac told the Independent that Cheryl was a \u201cfantastic person that was suffering\u201d and that his family has known and lived beside her for the past 12 years.<\/p>\n

Cheryl babysat his daughter, talked to him daily, and always made sure to fix him a plate of food during holidays. <\/p>\n

\u201cThere wasn\u2019t a time when she didn\u2019t put a smile on my face. She was a caring person and we talked and laughed at least everyday,\u201d he recalled. <\/p>\n

He said this was the first year Cheryl hadn\u2019t dropped off a Thanksgiving plate for his family. When they spoke on Thanksgiving day itself, he said, she didn\u2019t have her usual sing song-like voice. He attributed that to this being the first year of being without her son for the holidays.<\/p>\n

When he got the call on the morning of Saturday, Nov. 29, that Cheryl was missing, he drove to the Grand Avenue Bridge to help search for her. <\/p>\n

He spoke with neighbors and went up and down the river on foot. He soon realized he needed a boat to search the water. He stopped at a bait shop, where he learned a bit about the river\u2019s tides. Before heading further up river, he told Cheryl\u2019s daughter Olivia: \u201cI\u2019m not coming home until I find her.\u201d<\/p>\n

He then began asking neighbors if they\u2019d lend him a boat to search. When one person agreed, warning him about the shallow river, he was given a kayak, life jacket, waterproof windbreaker, and waterproof phone case. While on the cold river, he would occasionally stop paddling to let the water push him in its natural direction. While in the kayak on the river, he frequently checked his phone, hoping Cheryl would be been found elsewhere.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe longer it went, the more I felt like I needed to find her,\u201d he said. \u201cMs. Cheryl deserved to be found and have someone looking for her.\u201d<\/p>\n

He discovered her body that afternoon in the river near the North Haven and Hamden town lines. He could see the back of East Rock in the distance. He then called Olivia and waited for her and police to arrive while holding her.<\/p>\n

He concluded that \u201cconnection with people is needed more\u201d \u2014 from saying hello to your neighbor to making eye contact and smiling at people at the gas station.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are all connected and it\u2019s a reminder of how important it is to live in way where we understand we\u2019re a part of something other than our own little lives,\u201d the neighbor said. \u201cBe there for each other and make sure people know they\u2019re seen.\u201d<\/p>\n

A Life Of Trauma, Strength, & Care<\/p>\n

Cheryl was the second oldest of eight siblings. She was raised by her aunt, Lucinda Ratley, after her mother, Daisey Mae Lee-Hill, was murdered in New Haven in 1967. Cheryl\u2019s father, James Henderson Hill, Sr., died a month after her mom. Olivia attributed her grandfather\u2019s death to heartbreak.<\/p>\n

Olivia recalled her mom, Cheryl, telling her stories about being 11 years old and witnessing her mothers murder by stabbing. <\/p>\n

Another major loss in Cheryl\u2019s life came when her younger sister Deborah Hill died in 1976. Her sister \u2014 a basketball star at Lee High School \u2014 died after a battle with leukemia, and before she was able to graduate from high school.<\/p>\n

Three years before her sister\u2019s death, Cheryl also lost her brother, Douglass Hill,\u00a0while she was just a sophomore in high school.<\/p>\n

Then, in 2008, she lost her oldest brother, \u201cthe glue\u201d for the family, James Hill, Jr.<\/p>\n

Cheryl was a single mother who had retired from a career as an insurance claims specialist.<\/p>\n

Cheryl\u2019s son Myrick was a truancy officer for New Haven Public Schools for 25 years and a minister for 30 years. \u201cHe was a lot of things to a lot of people,\u201d Olivia said about her brother.<\/p>\n

According to Olivia, Myrick suffered from a series of major health complications in the final years of his life, including a blood infection that led to sepsis, a deteriorated heart valve that required him to get open heart surgery, diabetes that resulted in his leg being amputated, and many strokes. <\/p>\n

Myrick\u2019s poor health in those years took an emotional toll on his mom, Cheryl. She especially struggled when her son decided to go into hospice on March 11, 2024. Cheryl would visit him daily.<\/p>\n

While getting hospice care at the Arden House, Olivia held the power of attorney for her older brother. She recalled him telling her in his final days: \u201cKeep an eye on mommy. She\u2019s not as strong as you think.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myrick\u2019s decision to grant Olivia the power of attorney, and the pain of losing a loved one, sparked tensions within the family, Olivia recalled. This caused further stress for Cheryl.<\/p>\n

Myrick passed away on March 24, 2024. According to Oliva, thousands of people attended his funeral in person and online, speaking to just how many lives he touched as a minister and a truancy officer in New Haven. <\/p>\n

In the first few months after after her son\u2019s passing, Cheryl\u2019s community came out to support her, Olivia said. But eventually, most \u201cwent back to their lives and the grief became more profound for her.\u201d <\/p>\n

Over the years, Olivia said, Cheryl avoided taking depression medication out of fear of other family members\u2019 struggles with drug addiction. <\/p>\n

After Myrick\u2019s passing, Cheryl became more active with her church, Beulah Heights First Pentecostal Church. She supported the church\u2019s food pantry and was a board member of the women\u2019s ministry.<\/p>\n

Olivia said she was aware of just how much was weighing on her mom this year as they approached the second Thanksgiving that the family would celebrate, and Myrick\u2019s second birthday they would mark, since Myrick\u2019s death.<\/p>\n

This October, Olivia was faced with planning her paternal uncle\u2019s funeral after his passing Oct 24. She struggled herself with the feeling that \u201call my male protectors are gone. I\u2019m in a space where I need to be protected right now.\u201d While mourning she spent less time with her mother. She visited her dad\u2019s family in Maryland the week of Nov. 12 to continue planning the Nov. 1 funeral for her uncle.<\/p>\n

Olivia\u2019s mother lived with her in Beaver Hills. Cheryl had supported Olivia with raising her daughter, Cheryl\u2019s only grandchild. In recent months, Cheryl would drive Olivia\u2019s daughter to and from work everyday, to therapy once a week, and to church on Sundays.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mom died of heartbreak in my eyes,\u201d Olivia said. \u201cWe didn\u2019t receive the support we thought we would from everyone that made my brother promises.\u201d \u00a0<\/p>\n

Turning Grief Into Advocacy<\/p>\n

As she grapples with her mom\u2019s death, Olivia hopes to incorporate more mental health resources into her Church Street beauty business, LUSHXESTHETICS. She also wants to create a community fund in her mom\u2019s name to continue her support for New Haven and spread awareness about depression and the mental health impacts of long term grieving. She hopes to spread more awareness about suicide and make it easier to talk about it, she said.<\/p>\n

Olivia described her mom as her \u201cfirst example of class, elegance, grace and beauty.\u201d She recalled childhood memories of sitting on her mother\u2019s bathroom floor, watching her curl her hair early in the morning and then get dressed and put on jewelry. <\/p>\n

That is what inspired Olivia to run her own beauty business. That is what inspires her to teach others to take care of themselves. <\/p>\n

Olivia now is reminding herself once again \u2014 since her mom died, since her brother died, since her uncle died \u2014 to \u201cmourn and move,\u201d meaning to not let yourself stay stagnant when grieving and to get help so you don\u2019t suffer alone.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor Black women, stress is so normal,\u201d Olivia said. \u201cWe have always had everything on our back. [We] have always just kept going and been the savior.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMental Health Is Real\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"First Lady Rachel and Pastor Harold Brooks lighting a candle. \u201cHer story is more than the way it ended. Her life mattered. \u2029Her presence mattered. Her love still lives within us today,\u201d Harold Brooks said. <\/p>\n

\"\"Cheryl\u2019s daughter Debbie Myrick, son Matthew Murphy, spiritual daughter Elizabeth, granddaughter Jamiya Bryant, and family friend Kadyann as they gather around the memorial. \u201cEvery time we wake up, it\u2019s something new we\u2019re trying to figure out,\u201d Myrick said about the grieving process. She also gave thanks to individuals showing concern and urged community members to continue showing support.<\/p>\n

A a licensed professional counselor and member of the COMPASS Community Advisory Board,\u00a0Thretha Green showed up to Saturday\u2019s vigil to mourn her cousin\u2019s death and speak out about the dangers of depression. <\/p>\n

\u201cMental health is real,\u201d Green said. \u201cWe are cursed from slavery. We are carrying on the burdens of our ancestors. \u2029We have to take care of each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suicidal ideation and mental health struggles appear differently in different people, Green told the crowd. Boys may show signs of physical aggression such as taking up guns or other risky behavior that increases their risk of bodily injury. Girls may show a shifted demeanor and verbal aggression.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Green said that warning signs can be misinterpreted or disregarded at times. Sometimes people may interpret someone\u2019s warning signs as having \u201can attitude\u201d and dismiss the possibility of their demeanor change being the result of an underlying issue. She emphasized the importance of inquiring about people\u2019s mental health and wellbeing and addressing signs when they first develop.<\/p>\n

\u201cFind out why she\u2019s so angry. Find out why she\u2019s so provocative. Find out. There\u2019s something going on,\u201d she said. \u201cDon\u2019t talk about him. Help him. There\u2019s something going on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cheryl\u2019s passing also hit close to home for her friend Jennifer Quaye-Hudson.<\/p>\n

\u201cI found that when things got real hard, it was hard for folks who were previously in my life to continue to show up,\u201d Quaye-Hudson said about her own struggles with mental health. \u201cMy mental illness wasn\u2019t light, and it wasn\u2019t easy for anyone around me. \u2026 \u2029And while the people that I love do have the right to protect and care for themselves, I also know that folks struggling with mental health cannot get better alone. It has never happened, and it will not happen. We desperately need one another.\u201d<\/p>\n

Recounting her own journey, Quaye-Hudson underlined the importance of community and caring for people to your best ability. She highlighted how mental health can warp an individual\u2019s perceptions of themselves and their interpersonal relationships and emphasized the importance of supporting people during their darkest moments.<\/p>\n

\u201cWithout the constant community care, those reminders, those tethers, you\u2019d be surprised how easy it is to drift into the abyss,\u201d she said. \u201cSo I\u2019m here to remind you all of what it means to be in real community with one another.\u201d<\/p>\n

In each speech at Saturday\u2019s vigil, friends and family members noted Cheryl\u2019s deep devotion to her faith. Pastor Harold Brooks of Beulah Heights First Pentecostal Church affirmed that, noting her unmistakable exuberance at the Orchard Street church.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you happen to have been at our church on Sunday, it was a heavy service because on that third row on the left side from the pulpit is where Cheryl would sit,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd I would hear an encouraging word, \u2018That\u2019s right, Pastor. Tell it, Pastor. Yes. Amen, Pastor.\u2019 Well, this Sunday, that voice was absent. And so it was a heavy time.\u201d<\/p>\n

After his speech, attendees lit their white and green candles that they held throughout the rest of the ceremony as the increasingly chilly evening set in. Brooks led the crowd through a prayer before they walked over to the bridge, placing the candles around Cheryl\u2019s roadside memorial.<\/p>\n

Speeches from Cheryl\u2019s immediate family followed, with her granddaughter Jamiya Bryant giving final remarks. <\/p>\n

\u201cI know she loves me and I love her,\u201d Bryant said. \u201cIt\u2019s definitely going to be hard, but I just have another reason to push for all of my goals in life \u2019cause I want to make her proud,\u201d <\/p>\n

Bryant shed a few tears and her voice cracked as she spoke. Addressing the crowd, she paused as needed to collect herself. \u201cI want to make my uncle proud,\u201d she concluded. \u201cI want to make everyone around me proud.\u201d<\/p>\n

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