{"id":350896,"date":"2025-12-15T22:22:12","date_gmt":"2025-12-15T22:22:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/350896\/"},"modified":"2025-12-15T22:22:12","modified_gmt":"2025-12-15T22:22:12","slug":"sertraline-and-paroxetine-stopped-me-waking-terrified-at-3am-but-at-a-cost","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/350896\/","title":{"rendered":"Sertraline and paroxetine stopped me waking terrified at 3am, but at a cost"},"content":{"rendered":"

Emma says she has had to find a balance but says it is worth it<\/p>\n

08:24, 15 Dec 2025Updated 10:37, 15 Dec 2025<\/p>\n

\"EmmaEmma Parsons-Reid has explained the side effects (Cover Images)<\/p>\n

A woman who found herself waking, terrified, at 3am every morning unable to get back to sleep says one pill has helped – but comes at a cost. Emma Parsons-Reid, 58, had been waking every morning gripped with terror and feeling anxious and fearful for the future.<\/p>\n

She was juggling a mother with advanced dementia, family relationship problems, a 91-year-old dad who recently passed away and a husband with stage-4 cancer. Emma, from Cardiff<\/a>, said: \u201cThe terror, waking up at three in the morning\u2026I could be awake for hours, and immediately my head would go to something awful and dark. The doctor suggested sertraline and I agreed.”<\/p>\n

Emma had taken antidepressants previously when her marriage broke down two decades ago. She married in April 1996, but by October, her husband had walked out. She remembers him telling her: “I\u2019m going. I don\u2019t want to stay married to you anymore” as she was laying out clothes to dry on the radiator. \u201cI remember literally trying to hold on to his ankles and crying: \u2018Why? Why are you going?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\"EmmaEmma says it is about balance (Cover Images)<\/p>\n

He left immediately and she found herself alone with her young daughter in his military accommodation where she was no longer entitled to live. She spiralled into agoraphobia and separation anxiety as she urgently sought a new home.<\/p>\n

\u201cI couldn\u2019t breathe. I realise now I was hyperventilating. I couldn\u2019t relax to take a deep breath. I just became scared everywhere. It changed me forever. I knew I would never be the same again,\u201d she said. The prescription antidepressant Paroxetine helped her steady, but it had side effects, the most notable being sexual. Emma moved on and met someone else, but the pills deadened sensation.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was quite numb downstairs, like being on a bike all day. You can\u2019t feel anything. It was like going through the motions\u201d, she says.<\/p>\n

New research has found more than half of anti-depressant users experience sexual dysfunction, with millions of British experiencing low libido and lack of pleasure. 40% are having less sex.<\/p>\n

Although these are common side effects, it is not well known that these medications can cause sexual problems, and users often don\u2019t feel comfortable talking about the subject with their friends, family or their GP. Roughly one in six adults in England are currently taking prescribed antidepressants, which equates to more than 4.6 million people experiencing reduced sexual desire as part of their treatment.<\/p>\n

\"KevinKevin and Emma (Cover Images)<\/p>\n

Emma has teamed up with Lovehoney to share her account and encourage others to understand that the sexual side effects don\u2019t have to ruin your love life. In 2002, she met her current husband Kevin, a calm, kind presence she calls her \u2018anchor\u2019. They married, built a home and with distance Emma could see that survival had made her stronger.<\/p>\n

But now, facing his illness, she knows she has to rely on the medication for help, and she is grateful for it. Anti-depressants make the difference between coping and unravelling, she explains. \u201cThe medication has given me hope that I can get through this period,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

The change is visible in small ways. \u201cI decided I\u2019m gonna buy myself a new car,\u201d she said, amused by her own decisiveness. She is seeing friends again, organising a neighbours\u2019 Christmas meal, pushing herself out of the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel empowered,\u201d she says. \u201cI\u2019ve got to look after me.\u201d Medication has also changed the weather at home. Kevin needs steadiness as he undergoes treatment and Emma wants to be present for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is better for both of us,\u201d she says. \u201cHe benefits from me being on them because he can see already that I\u2019m feeling better. And there is something about sex, especially when there\u2019s so much death around you, that makes you feel alive. You\u2019ve just got to keep going.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are sexually active. My husband is my soulmate. I just want to be close to him,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n

\"KevinKevin is Emma’s soul mate (Cover Images)<\/p>\n

It is a trade off, but one she is happy to make. \u201cBecause you need to keep getting up every day. If you keep running on empty, you\u2019re not going to be around to have sex.\u201d<\/p>\n

If someone is hesitating, worried about libido or side effects, Emma offers some practical advice: \u201cYou just have to balance,\u201d she says. \u201cI only take a low dose – enough to keep me from cracking up. I want to feel normal sexually and I want to still have emotion.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know I\u2019ve got to look after me and do what I need.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lovehoney has teamed up with GP and sexual function expert, Dr Anand Patel, to highlight the hidden side effects and how to deal with them. Dr Patel says sexual side effects are well-known but rarely discussed openly: \u201cAntidepressants work by boosting serotonin levels, which can help lift mood and ease anxiety. But serotonin can also slow down the brain\u2019s arousal and reward systems, meaning reduced desire, dulled pleasure and delayed orgasm.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe good news is that for most people, these effects are temporary and manageable. With the right medical support – such as dose adjustments, medication changes or therapy – sexual wellbeing can absolutely be restored. No one should feel embarrassed bringing this up with their doctor. A simple conversation can make a big difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dr Anand said don\u2019t be afraid to have a conversation with your doctor. Remember that this is common. You can simply say: \u201cI\u2019ve noticed some changes in my sex drive since starting this medication, is that something we can talk about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Know what questions to ask your healthcare provider if you are being prescribed anti-depressants. Questions like: \u201cHow likely is this medication to affect my sex drive?\u201d, \u201cAre there alternatives?\u201d, and \u201cIf I notice changes, what should I do?\u201d are completely valid.<\/p>\n

Regular exercise, good sleep, stress management, mindfulness and relationship therapy can all help improve libido while continuing antidepressant treatment for those looking at lifestyle changes first.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Emma says she has had to find a balance but says it is worth it 08:24, 15 Dec…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":350897,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60],"tags":[102748,97,259,260],"class_list":{"0":"post-350896","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-cardiff","9":"tag-health","10":"tag-mental-health","11":"tag-mentalhealth"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=350896"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350896\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/350897"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=350896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=350896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=350896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}