DEAR ABBY: We have a mutual friend who\u2019s very dear to us. He\u2019s a kind-hearted and generous disabled vet who\u2019s too proud to ask for help. <\/p>\n
Unfortunately, due to his ill health and physical limitations, his home is unkempt. He lives among piles of dusty trash, empty cartons, unfinished projects, dirty clothes and even animal messes. It smells very unpleasant, especially in the heat. <\/p>\n
\tThe last time I visited, I sat down in what I thought was a \u201csafe\u201d clear spot and came away smelling of cat urine. Despite our repeated offers, he declines our help to clean up. Unfortunately, it\u2019s so bad that people no longer want to visit his home. <\/p>\n
\tHe recently volunteered to host a traditional holiday gathering for our group of friends, but if he does, I\u2019m afraid no one will show. (I\u2019m hesitant to eat anything prepared there anyway, and so are others.) We\u2019ve discussed moving the event, but we\u2019re afraid it would hurt his feelings, since he really enjoys hosting. Plus, what would we say? <\/p>\n
\tRenting a small hall was our first thought, but he\u2019s insistent and excited for the company. Your advice on how to approach this delicate situation would be appreciated. — IN A TOUGH SPOT IN MICHIGAN<\/p>\n
\tDEAR TOUGH SPOT: Your friend appears to be a hoarder. He may enjoy hosting and want company, but it isn\u2019t going to happen if people are afraid to go to his home and consume anything because of the filth and the odor. <\/p>\n
The person closest to him has to explain to him that although you all love him, his party would be better attended if the celebration was held off-site. He needs to understand why others are staying away, and he may need physical and psychological help to improve his situation.<\/p>\n
My gay sweetheart says being gay is wrong <\/p>\n
DEAR ABBY: I\u2019m a young gay man with a problem. I met a cute guy, \u201cMark,\u201d with a sweet personality, and the sex has been awesome. We spent two consecutive nights together in a hotel, but two days later he went to church, and he\u2019s now convinced that being gay is wrong. <\/p>\n
Mark still rubs my foot with his under the table while we eat and kisses me on the lips. He tells me he loves me very much, but now I\u2019m getting mixed signals. At night on our dating app, Mark sends nudes of himself, even though he says gay sex is wrong. What should I do? — MIXED SIGNALS IN GEORGIA<\/p>\n
\tDEAR MIXED SIGNALS: Mark is conflicted about being gay because the church he attends made him feel guilty about it. Talk with him and suggest that you feel he could benefit from counseling to help him become more comfortable about who he is. <\/p>\n
There are three LGBTQ community centers located in Atlanta. If Mark is unwilling, please understand it could be a long journey for him toward self-acceptance. If you are not prepared to wait, you should move on. <\/p>\n
Dear Abby<\/a> is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com<\/a> or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"DEAR ABBY: We have a mutual friend who\u2019s very dear to us. He\u2019s a kind-hearted and generous disabled…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":266996,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60],"tags":[97,259,260],"class_list":{"0":"post-353190","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-health","9":"tag-mental-health","10":"tag-mentalhealth"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=353190"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353190\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/266996"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=353190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=353190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=353190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}