The day has arrived for many of us when the angst over getting ready for the Christmas holiday is replaced by the angst over making it through the Christmas holiday.<\/p>\n
I recommend a discreet exit to the bedroom and a few minutes screaming into a pillow. Don\u2019t return to your guests until the redness has left your face.<\/p>\n
Fa la la la la \u2026<\/p>\n
Orioles fans already received a middle-of-the-order, five-time All-Star for first base, a closer who led the majors in saves in 2024, a power-hitting corner outfielder who set career highs this year in doubles, home runs and RBIs but could bat leadoff in some lineups, and a starting pitcher for the middle or back end of the rotation with a big arm, high ceiling and three years of controllability.<\/p>\n
Other gifts should arrive after the last of the wrapping paper is balled up and tossed into the trash and leftovers are packed into plastic to-go containers that you\u2019ll never get back.<\/p>\n
Twelve drummers drumming is unacceptable if you live in an apartment or condo with thin walls. Same goes with 10 lords a-leaping and nine ladies dancing. Think of your neighbors.\u00a0<\/p>\n
(The nine ladies dancing is fine for bachelor parties, but I digress …)<\/p>\n
Five gold rings is greedy for a team that hasn\u2019t won a World Series since 1983. Be satisfied with one for now. \u00a0<\/p>\n
One Drew French makes more sense than three French hens. That\u2019s why he\u2019s among the four coaches returning from last season.<\/p>\n
A partridge in a pear tree is nice, but I\u2019d rather have a Kittredge in the bullpen.<\/p>\n
(The eight maids didn\u2019t do as much milking as I am with this joke.)<\/p>\n
For the woman in the song \u201cBaby It\u2019s Cold Outside\u201d who just wants her coat so she can get away from the creeper trying to force another cocktail, and himself, on her, I hope she gets an Amazon driver to deliver a taser and download the Lyft app for her phone.<\/p>\n
How did something this cringy become a holiday classic?<\/p>\n
\u201cSay, what’s in this drink?\u201d
\u201cNo cabs to be had out there\u201d<\/p>\n
(That is not what she asked)<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish I knew how\u201d
\u201cYour eyes are like starlight now\u201d
\u201cTo break this spell\u201d
\u201cI’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell\u201d
\u201cI ought to say, “No, no, no sir”
\u201cMind if I move in closer?\u201d<\/p>\n
(Clearly, yes)<\/p>\n
\u201cAt least I’m gonna say that I tried\u201d
\u201cWhat’s the sense in hurting my pride?\u201d
\u201cI really can’t stay\u201d
\u201cBaby, don’t hold out\u201d<\/p>\n
You know what else hurts? A kick in the chestnuts.<\/p>\n
This is why women in bars put a napkin or coaster over their drink.<\/p>\n
\u2026 la la la la.<\/p>\n
Craig Albernaz already received the best gift \u2013 his first managing job in the majors. There are no ties in baseball.<\/p>\n
Mike Elias got a green light.<\/p>\n
It lets him make competitive offers to free agents. Batteries not included, unless it\u2019s a pitcher and catcher.<\/p>\n
Dear Santa, please give Tyler O\u2019Neill a healthy season.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s made 17 career trips to the injured list, including three in 2025 that limited him to only 54 games. That\u2019s why he\u2019s still with the Orioles rather than opting out of his three-year, $49.5 million contract.<\/p>\n
For Colton Cowser, I\u2019d like to put a bow on a bat that makes more consistent contact He\u2019s struck out 300 times in 921 plate appearances over the past two years.<\/p>\n
Cowser has got tremendous power and is a much better hitter than his .216\/.300\/.404 line in parts of three major league seasons. Time to break out like a teenager’s greasy face.\u00a0<\/p>\n
For Adley Rutschman, a giant eraser for the last 1 \u00bd seasons.<\/p>\n
For Pete Alonso, 162 games. Anything less will make him think that he was on the naughty list.<\/p>\n
For Jordan Westburg, just a full season. That\u2019s it. He\u2019s going to be one of the best hitters on this team if he stays on the field.<\/p>\n
For Ryan Mountcastle, good health like so many others. But also, a left field wall with wheels that move it forward whenever he\u2019s at the plate.<\/p>\n
It should come with a remote.<\/p>\n
For Coby Mayo, a chance to play. Give him consistent at-bats, and a full shuttle that doesn\u2019t have a seat for him.<\/p>\n
Turn in your bus pass.<\/p>\n
For Heston Kjerstad, no more fastballs to the head and no more speculation about his heart. Put a fresh start in a bag with some tissue paper.<\/p>\n
For outfielder Will Robertson, similar taste in gifts to Orioles vice president of domestic scouting Will Robertson. That way, any mix-ups won\u2019t be a problem.<\/p>\n
Jackson Holliday might need a razor for when he starts shaving.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d like for him to receive a lineup card with his name lowered on it. Don\u2019t put the added responsibility of leadoff hitter on his young shoulders.<\/p>\n
For Jeremiah Jackson, ground balls everywhere in camp. Fly balls everywhere in camp. Move so much that he needs change of address cards.<\/p>\n
For Trevor Rogers, 2025 on repeat.<\/p>\n
For Ryan Helsley, a year when the only tipping he does is in restaurants.<\/p>\n
For Kyle Bradish, selection to his first All-Star Game. Pitch like an ace, get rewarded like one.<\/p>\n
For Tyler Wells, an unbreakable elbow. One that holds up whether he\u2019s starting, relieving or doing both.<\/p>\n
Asking for one role is like having one roll at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Unrealistic. Wells could have a full plate from the many ways that Albernaz might use him. \u00a0<\/p>\n
For Samuel Basallo, an open window on the warehouse so he doesn\u2019t bust the glass. \u00a0<\/p>\n
For Dean Kremer, an April ERA and WHIP as good as his hair.<\/p>\n
For Enrique Bradfield Jr., a major league debut. It\u2019s his turn.<\/p>\n
Hopefully, Bradfield won\u2019t mind sharing his toys with Trey Gibson.<\/p>\n
For Nate George, a flame-retardant uniform. A smart purchase for anyone who plays like his hair\u2019s on fire.<\/p>\n
For Vance Honeycutt, a do-over. And maybe some ACC opponents.<\/p>\n
Get back to what got him here.<\/p>\n
For F\u00e9lix Bautista, the patience to go through another rehab, and a reward at the end that lets him pitch this summer. And this fall.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll happily take today with no breaking news \u2013 sorry, I\u2019d like to leave the laptop closed \u2013 or political discussions from the same offenders leaking onto this site.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d love for everyone everywhere to treat each other with respect. With warmth, kindness and compassion.<\/p>\n
Cause baby, it\u2019s cold outside.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The day has arrived for many of us when the angst over getting ready for the Christmas holiday…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":325849,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[363,48262,99],"class_list":{"0":"post-369172","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mlb","8":"tag-mlb","9":"tag-orioles","10":"tag-sports"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=369172"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369172\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/325849"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=369172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=369172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=369172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}