I could only watch for one set, through splayed fingers. The outcome was never in doubt.<\/p>\n
After most matches you can come away saying, \u201cTennis was the winner,\u201d but I think we can agree there are exceptions. This was one. I might also mention here the time I hit with Cameron Norrie.<\/p>\n
He was the British No 1 at the time. I was a very average middle-aged player who had just been dropped from the ladies\u2019 fourth team. Before we went out on court I joked, \u201cWell, you\u2019re going to need a big box of Mansize Kleenex to wipe your tears when I beat you,\u201d and he gamely laughed because, well, look at the physical facts of the matter.<\/p>\n
\u2022 Cameron Norrie: I want to be world No 1 \u2014 that\u2019s why I act like it<\/a><\/p>\n Off court, the 6ft 2in Norrie is quiet, unassuming. On court, he is a beast. Dominant, physical, with screaming footwork and a looping forehand that kicks like a donkey, a flat backhand freighted with lethal spin and a demonic drop shot \u2014 basically your complete all-court game, with what the commentators describe as \u201ctremendous hand skills\u201d.<\/p>\n All his returns whistled past me or overhead. I didn\u2019t even see his serve. After only ten minutes I was wheezing from chasing his backhand down-the-line returns. I felt I would throw up. In the end I won one rally. Someone said I also served an ace, but if I did I don\u2019t remember it.<\/p>\n Johnson with Cameron Norrie<\/p>\n MARK HARRISON FOR THE TIMES SATURDAY MAGAZINE<\/p>\n Now, Norrie is a champ, an elite sportsman young enough to be my son, and this was some light rallying for a profile piece I was writing. It therefore doesn\u2019t count. As soon as you introduce real competition between the male and the female players, however, it\u2019s different. Whenever a man plays a woman at tennis in an actual match, it\u2019s always a battle of the sexes. It\u2019s existential. And there\u2019s no question in the male mind that it\u2019s the natural order of things that the stronger and bigger sex has to dominate the weaker. The male has to win. And he almost always wins too.<\/p>\n Where I play, tennis is both same-sex and mixed. There\u2019s mixed doubles and mixed singles. And I\u2019ve often noticed that if I\u2019m playing a singles match against a bloke, they don\u2019t take any chances.<\/p>\n They arrive lugging vast sports bags containing several rackets and an assortment of \u201cstrap-ons\u201d, such as knee braces, elbow supports and powerful muscle guns to massage their calves and other areas, and often, disconcertingly, lie on their backs to perform a series of hip-flexor exercises prior to knocking up. I regard this as part of the \u201chaka\u201d that men perform prior to any contest.<\/p>\n Or they tell you they\u2019ve just had \u201ca new knee\u201d or a hip replacement and this is the first time they\u2019ve played since surgery. Invariably they proceed to tear around the court like teenage roadrunners. Whatever it takes, they want to win. Indeed, they have to win, even the 85-year-olds, who will resort to anything, a game of underarm serves, drop shots, funky line calls and lobs, just so long as they are never, ever beaten by a woman.<\/p>\n![\"Two](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/\/620c9946-6ea2-475a-8abe-4fd9ebd3a055.jpg\")
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