{"id":378482,"date":"2025-12-30T20:23:10","date_gmt":"2025-12-30T20:23:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/378482\/"},"modified":"2025-12-30T20:23:10","modified_gmt":"2025-12-30T20:23:10","slug":"stranger-things-couples-ranked-by-how-much-chemistry-they-actually-have","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/378482\/","title":{"rendered":"‘Stranger Things’ Couples, Ranked by How Much Chemistry They Actually Have"},"content":{"rendered":"

Stranger Things<\/a> fever is at an all-time high. The show ends forever tomorrow<\/a>, and we\u2019ll finally get to see if good\u2014aided by science, superpowers, junk food, and Dungeons & Dragons-inspired strategy\u2014will triumph over evil and allow the long-suffering heroes of Hawkins<\/a> to move on with their lives. In these precious few hours when there are still plenty of Stranger Things unknowns, let\u2019s do the silliest thing imaginable and rank all the couples on the show (inclusive of pairings that are romantic, platonic, and\u2026 more abstract) according to how much chemistry they have.<\/p>\n

Leaving aside the main characters who are not attached in any way (Will, Murray, Kali, Holly, and the rest of the young kids), we\u2019ll start from least sizzling and work our way up to red hot.<\/p>\n

\"Io9<\/p>\n

10. The Wheelers <\/p>\n

This marriage has long been in trouble\u2014who could forget Karen\u2019s crush on Billy, circa his bad-boy lifeguard era? (No doubt she hasn\u2019t.) At this point, no amount of wine, golf, or demogorgon battles seems likely to reignite any passion here.<\/p>\n

\"Strangerthings\u00a9 Netflix 9. Eleven and Mike <\/p>\n

Ah, season three: everyone hung out at the mall, and Stranger Things was completely invested in this tweenage love affair. Hopper\u2019s overprotective hovering couldn\u2019t stop these two from smooching on the sly. But now that Eleven and Mike are high school age, prime time for raging hormones, their spark seems to have gone out completely. Sure, they\u2019re still close, but they favor chaste hugs when they reunite\u2014and while Mike\u2019s determined to make Eleven dream of a life post-Vecna, somewhere involving at least one waterfall, we\u2019re getting mostly friendship vibes from these two.<\/p>\n

8. Nancy and Jonathan <\/p>\n

Speaking of couples who are better off as friends, it took a brush with death inside a melting building, but Nancy and Jonathan finally realized that breaking up was the best way forward for each of them. After all the negativity they\u2019d flung at each other, their heart-to-heart capped by Jonathan\u2019s \u201cun-proposal\u201d was such a relief. They\u2019ll be bonded forever, but marriage is thankfully not in the cards.<\/p>\n

7. Hopper and Joyce <\/p>\n

This relationship has settled into a place that would feel almost comfortable if not for the circumstances surrounding them. Will Joyce and Hopper, who\u2019ve known each other since high school but only became a couple recently, be able to make it work once the chaos that pushed them together subsides? There are certainly feelings between them, but the longevity here is debatable, even without taking Hopper\u2019s suicidal tendencies into consideration.<\/p>\n

\"Strangerthings\u00a9 Netflix 6. Dr. Kay and her mission <\/p>\n

Nobody gets in the way of Dr. Kay and her deranged plan to force a superpowered captive to produce blood that\u2019s infused into pregnant women (also being held captive) in the hopes of creating a new generation of superpowered soldiers who can assure American military supremacy. Nobody. That might not be love, but it sure is devotion.<\/p>\n

\"Strangerthings\u00a9 Netflix 5. Max and Lucas <\/p>\n

As it turns out, Max didn\u2019t need Kate Bush to guide her out of Vecna\u2019s mind prison\u2014she just needed to feel Lucas\u2019 hand and know he was there on the other side, believing that she\u2019d one day open her eyes again. We hope these two kids can make it work, but there\u2019s a strong possibility that the Nancy-Jonathan \u201cshared trauma\u201d situation could repeat itself here too.<\/p>\n

4. Steve and Dustin <\/p>\n

Stranger Things is now a well-established safe space, but Steve and Dustin are not (alas) a romantic couple. However, they are besties forever\u2014now that they\u2019ve learned they need to talk about their feelings and clear the air before engaging in any more violent physical confrontations. At the very least, don\u2019t break another walkie-talkie, your only lifeline to safety in the Upside Down.<\/p>\n

3. Mr. Clarke (aka \u201cSnookums\u201d) and the librarian (aka \u201cSugar Lump\u201d) <\/p>\n

Murray takes great delight in clowning on Mr. Clarke\u2019s pet name, but maybe he\u2019s just a little jealous that love has bloomed between two of the nerdiest faculty members at Hawkins High School. We\u2019re delighted for Snookums and Sugar Lump. Long may they reign.<\/p>\n

\"Strangerthings\u00a9 Netflix 2. Vecna and his mission <\/p>\n

Dr. Kay is laser-focused on her objective, but she could, conceivably, walk away at any moment and go do something else. Vecna is cosmically entwined with his evil scheme to merge the Abyss with Earth, using Hawkins as a crash point\u2014and while we don\u2019t know all the details about his motivations, origins, or hopes for the future, we can definitely see he\u2019s fully committed to achieving his endgame. 2gether 4ever.<\/p>\n

\"Strangerthings\u00a9 Netflix 1. Robin and Vickie <\/p>\n

One day. Enzo\u2019s. Dinner and dessert. If Stranger Things\u2018 most believable, most adorable couple doesn\u2019t get their long-awaited date by the end of the finale episode, \u201cThe Rightside Up,\u201d we\u2019re cancelling our Netflix subscriptions and never looking back.<\/p>\n

Want more io9 news? Check out when to expect the latest Marvel<\/a>, Star Wars<\/a>, and Star Trek<\/a> releases, what\u2019s next for the DC Universe on film and TV<\/a>, and everything you need to know about the future of Doctor Who<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Stranger Things fever is at an all-time high. The show ends forever tomorrow, and we\u2019ll finally get to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":378483,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[217,147630,13671,74],"class_list":{"0":"post-378482","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-technology","8":"tag-netflix","9":"tag-ranker","10":"tag-stranger-things","11":"tag-technology"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378482","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=378482"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378482\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/378483"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=378482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=378482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=378482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}