Dear Eric: I\u2019m 61, widowed, and still work full time as a registered nurse in a very busy hospice house.<\/p>\n
I lost my husband four years ago, and since then went through a medical scare twice, diagnosed with cirrhosis, sleep apnea and chronic anxiety, have bought and sold two homes, purchased a new car and created significant credit card debt twice.<\/p>\n
When I retire, I won\u2019t be able to afford my house, so I will need to move (again). I understand and admit these poor financial decisions were possibly my way of dealing with grief, but now I am at a crossroads where I have an opportunity to retire next year and finally be able to decide how and where I spend my time.<\/p>\n
You see, during my 36 years of marriage, we moved 13 times. I really don\u2019t have roots.<\/p>\n
My problem is that I don\u2019t know where to land during my retirement years. How do I go about figuring this out? Because of my medical issues, sometimes I need help and probably should live near my family. But who? I can\u2019t wrap my head around this. But I need to decide soon because I will need to move when I sell my current home next summer.<\/p>\n
I think I\u2019m afraid to make another financial mistake. I also fear that this decision will be somehow final. What are your thoughts?<\/p>\n
\u2013 The Next Move<\/p>\n
Dear Move: The first thing you\u2019ll want to do is talk to a financial adviser, who can review your assets and debts and give you a concrete plan that will keep you financially solvent and help you get some peace of mind. Medical issues and money woes can create a fog of anxiety that obscures the path forward. It\u2019s hard to make wise decisions or to feel confident you haven\u2019t made a mistake.<\/p>\n
If you don\u2019t know where to look for a financial adviser, ask friends or relatives if they work with someone they trust, or reach out to the National Association of Professional Financial Advisors (napfa.org). Your local senior center or public library will also likely have financial counseling resources available.<\/p>\n
Also, talk to your family members about the upcoming decision and the options you\u2019re weighing. They\u2019ll be able to give you insight about the places they live, and their capacity for showing up for you when needed. This will give you a sense of what your post-retirement life can look like and give you better information to help you make your decision. Talk to your doctors, as well. If there\u2019s specialized care you need, they\u2019ll be able to advise you on how to connect with it in other areas.<\/p>\n
Lastly, talk to friends in retirement communities about their experiences. You may find that one of those is an attractive and affordable option.<\/p>\n
You don\u2019t have to make these decisions on your own; indeed, it\u2019s wiser not to. Keep asking for more information until you feel more surefooted. I understand that perhaps you feel that you\u2019re backed into a corner right now. But I want to assure you that you can find a next chapter that brings you happiness and gives you a sense of freedom.<\/p>\n
Read more Asking Eric<\/a> and other advice columns.<\/a><\/p>\n Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com<\/a> or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram<\/a> and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n