{"id":410983,"date":"2026-01-16T14:00:08","date_gmt":"2026-01-16T14:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/410983\/"},"modified":"2026-01-16T14:00:08","modified_gmt":"2026-01-16T14:00:08","slug":"my-friends-and-i-wish-we-could-afford-houses-of-our-own-but-we-might-have-figured-out-a-way-to-still-become-homeowners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/410983\/","title":{"rendered":"My friends and I wish we could afford houses of our own. But we might have figured out a way to still become homeowners."},"content":{"rendered":"

Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years\u2014so we\u2019re diving into the Pay Dirt archives to share classic letters with our readers.\u00a0Submit your own questions about money here<\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)\u00a0<\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/p>\n

My friends and I are early 30s professionals living in one of America\u2019s most expensive cities and making middle-class incomes. None of us can afford to buy or save for a home here. We all rent, but we\u2019re not broke. We save for kids and retirement and illness, but a home isn\u2019t in the cards. But recently, we think we might have found an unconventional loophole.<\/p>\n

Four friends and I have been considering buying a vacation home a few hours away together in a cheaper rural area. There\u2019s a long distance between \u201cconsidering\u201d and \u201cdoing,\u201d but I do my due diligence about purchases. What are the key things to consider in an arrangement like this besides 1) stability of the friendship 2) ongoing ability to meet the financial commitment 3) getting everything (maintenance, taxes, ground rules, etc.) in writing? I\u2019m genuinely interested in trying this when the market cools in a few years, and I want to think through the financial mechanics first.<\/p>\n

\u2014Togetherness in 2025<\/p>\n

Dear Togetherness,<\/p>\n

I love the idea\u00a0of buying a vacation<\/a>\u00a0home with friends, but I do agree you need to do your due diligence before getting started. A lot goes into buying a home and doing it with others, even if they\u2019re close friends members, adds a whole extra value for caution.<\/p>\n

Discuss who will all be on the mortgage and if their credit will allow them to qualify for the mortgage itself. There\u2019s technically no legal limit on how many people can be on a mortgage, but typically\u00a0four people is the max on most<\/a>. However, some lenders will consider more since there are five of you. Your finances will be reviewed, looking for criteria such as income, credit scores, current debt, and employment. So, if your friends have a less than subpar credit score, or lack in these areas, they\u2019ll need to work on it over the next few years.<\/p>\n

Note that a joint mortgage does not mean joint\u00a0ownership<\/a>. Make sure everyone\u2019s name is on the title and deed, so there is no confusion about who owns the house. You might also want to consider what kind of shared ownership agreement you want. Joint tenancy allows everyone to have an equal share of the house and is strict about the right of survivorship\u2014if one of you dies your share is passed on to the remaining parties\u2014and financial responsibility. Meanwhile, in an agreement like tenancy in common, if one of you should pass away, your share is left to your heirs and may need to go through probate.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d also speak to a real estate attorney. Different laws in every state discuss how property should be divided in case one of you can no longer keep the financial commitment. You\u2019ll want to make sure everything is as straightforward as possible so there is no confusion as to how things will work so your friendship won\u2019t be damaged.<\/p>\n

\u2014Athena Valentine<\/p>\n

From: My Brother Says I\u2019m Not \u201cAllowed\u201d To Have Kids Because I Have To Care For His<\/a>. (August 26th, 2022).<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/p>\n

My husband and I are trying to figure out how to be fair to our two sons regarding their inheritance.\u00a0We each have one son from a previous marriage.\u00a0We only have one asset which is our home.\u00a0We were very fortunate to buy at exactly the right time and our home has doubled in price.\u00a0My son and grandson moved in with us when we bought the home. He is 48 years old and my grandson is 30.\u00a0He and my grandson pay half the mortgage every month. My son makes repairs around the house and yard. He and my grandson buy groceries, make car repairs, and help with utilities.<\/p>\n

My husband\u2019s son, who is 30 years old, lives in another state with his girlfriend. They are buying their own home together with the help of her mother. My son and grandson love our little town and house. They want to stay here. They have limited resources and we live on social security so we are all able to survive together with our combined resources.<\/p>\n

Basically, the house will be left to the two sons. If my son and grandson are forced to sell the home to give my husband\u2019s son his fair share they will most likely not be able to buy a new home as the new market will have priced them out. So, my husband\u2019s son will have his own home and my son and grandson will be forced to sell and leave our home and no longer have a home of their own. They have invested heavily in this house and us. They will not have the means to buy their stepbrother out. We know there must be a way to do this fairly but we get emotional and lose perspective. We would love some advice on possible options.<\/p>\n

\u2014There Must Be a Fair Way to Do This<\/p>\n

Dear Must Be A Fair Way,<\/p>\n

This is a difficult situation and I can see why you\u2019re struggling to figure out what\u2019s right. You want to make sure one kid is taken care of while ensuring the other kid doesn\u2019t feel like you\u2019re punishing them for being successful in life. But in this situation, I would say leave the house to your son. Your son has not only helped pay half of your mortgage for years, but he has also contributed to the utilities, and the cost of repairs done to the property\u2014not to mention has even fixed them himself.<\/p>\n

Talk to an\u00a0estate attorney<\/a>\u00a0to create a trust that would allow your son to be left the home. If he chooses not to keep the home, and sell at a later time, set it up so that any proceeds from the house will be split between him and your stepson. This way if he chooses not to keep the family home, or can\u2019t afford to, both sons are included.<\/p>\n

I would also think about how you plan to broach this conversation with your stepson. It might be helpful to talk it through with a therapist beforehand. In a lot of families, one child who isn\u2019t as financially well off as another sibling will inherit more of the estate than the other one, which causes resentment. You want to be as levelheaded as possible so the conversation doesn\u2019t get emotional ad if it does, you\u2019ll be able to rein it back in before it gets out of hand. Try to make sure your conversation with your husband\u2019s son is a healthy one that leaves both of you feeling at ease with the decision.<\/p>\n

\u2014A.V.<\/p>\n

From: I\u2019ve Found A Trick To Buy My First House. But I\u2019m Worried It\u2019s Super Unethical<\/a>. (August 3rd, 2022).<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n Kristin Wong
\n I Want to Teach My Kids One Final Lesson From Beyond the Grave. Trust Me, They Deserve It.
\n Read More\n <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/p>\n

My husband and I rent the same cabin for a week each year. My sister has said she would like to come up with us next year. We\u2019re fine with this; we travel well together and she\u2019s come with us in the past. Next year, however, her new husband will join us, and although we enjoy him well enough, he\u2019s a huge cheapskate. For example, they come over or we go out for meals multiple times a month together. We treat often, and although my sister will treat us back occasionally, he has given us money exactly twice in three years of this.<\/p>\n

The cabin we rent has enough space for them, so it won\u2019t cost us any more to host them. We also rent a small boat for the week we are there; we would rent it either way. I know my sister would never rent one on her own but she will certainly go on the boat whenever we take it out.<\/p>\n

My question is: Do I ask them to pay anything for the cabin (or the boat)? Our husbands make about the same money; she makes half of what I do but we both make good salaries so financially it\u2019s not a stretch for any of us. I\u2019m inclined to ask for a portion toward the cabin given that she invited herself, but I can\u2019t tell if I\u2019m just being cheap in response to her husband\u2019s historical cheapness. Help!<\/p>\n

\u2014All I Want Is a Stress-Free Vacation<\/p>\n

Dear All I Want Is a Stress-Free Vacation,<\/p>\n

I think if you haven\u2019t asked your sister to cover part of the costs in the past, it may be a little awkward to ask for it now. It seems like you mostly just want her cheap husband to start paying his share, which means paying his portion of any other expenses you\u2019d incur outside of what you\u2019d normally spend anyway.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My Mother-in-Law Put My Kids in Danger Because \u201cThat\u2019s How They Did It in Her Day.\u201d I\u2019m Seeing Red.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

One of My Co-Workers Stole Another\u2019s Husband. Unfortunately, We All Still Work Together.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n


\n This Content is Available for Slate Plus members only<\/p>\n

Help! I Depend on My Parents for Essential Financial Help. But It Comes at an Unbearable Cost.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

Either way, this is why God made Venmo. Tell your sister ahead of time that you\u2019d like to handle splitting expenses via Venmo (or another app that allows you to request payment, like Zelle or Cash App), and then she and her husband know to expect that they will need to cover some of their own expenses. Then you can send them a request for whatever they owe, and you won\u2019t be leaving it to them to estimate (or in her husband\u2019s case, underestimate) their portion. Splitting food, drinks, and money for any excursions you might take are reasonable requests.<\/p>\n

I would not assume, however, that this teaches your brother-in-law anything about being cheap, and being cheap in response will not do that, either. It is reasonable to ask them to cover some of the costs of the trip, though. If the costs don\u2019t really matter to you, you may be risking some tension with your sister, just to retaliate against her husband\u2019s cheapness, and I doubt that\u2019s worth the money. So while it\u2019s not wrong to ask them to cover their share, you should think about your own motivations and what you believe the outcome will be.<\/p>\n

\u2014Elizabeth Spiers<\/p>\n

From: My Co-Worker Is Getting Seriously Underpaid. Do I Tell Her?<\/a> (August 4th, 2022).<\/p>\n

More Money Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

I have a friend who\u2019s always been a little cheap with shared checks. If I throw my card down for ease and let people Venmo me, he\u2019ll pay me, like, a conservative estimate of his portion (often short of the real total) and also not take tax or tip into account. I always kind of forget about this until he does it again. A few months ago, he estimated $25 when he owed me $40, and I was like, \u201cBro,\u201d and he seemed perplexed and gave me the $40. I tell you all this because on our last hangout, it was just us, he reluctantly revealed he is an heir to one of the biggest family fortunes in America<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years\u2014so we\u2019re diving into the Pay Dirt archives to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":410984,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[3005,28,22872,147,530,1170,6843],"class_list":{"0":"post-410983","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-business","10":"tag-dating-and-relationships","11":"tag-personal-finance","12":"tag-personalfinance","13":"tag-real-estate","14":"tag-slate-plus"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/410983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=410983"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/410983\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/410984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=410983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=410983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=410983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}