{"id":429220,"date":"2026-01-25T15:54:09","date_gmt":"2026-01-25T15:54:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/429220\/"},"modified":"2026-01-25T15:54:09","modified_gmt":"2026-01-25T15:54:09","slug":"i-empathize-with-brooklyn-beckham-its-time-to-believe-adult-children-when-they-speak-out-against-their-toxic-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/429220\/","title":{"rendered":"I Empathize With Brooklyn Beckham. It’s Time To Believe Adult Children When They Speak Out Against Their Toxic Parents."},"content":{"rendered":"

Last year, my mother sold her home and didn’t tell anyone she was moving.\"House<\/p>\n

DreamPictures \/ Getty Images<\/p>\n

This decision was her response to a final plea to participate in family therapy.\u00a0The only sign of her that exists at this point is the occasional Facebook marketplace post, where she has set out to sell whatever gifts we\u2019ve given her across time, as well as any memories or reminders of her family\u2019s existence, with some items selling for as little as five dollars.<\/p>\n

I can only imagine what she has thrown in the garbage.<\/p>\n

My family\u2019s intergenerational legacy is one in which the adults turn on each other before eating their young. My childhood was marred by alcoholism, mental illness, and a family-wide penchant for contempt, criticism, invalidation, and casual cruelty \u2013 especially toward its female members. And it took me decades to identify the damage done, let alone talk about it. In my case, my first-ever set of bullies were close blood relations.<\/p>\n

So when Brooklyn Beckham began to speak openly<\/a> about his relationship with his celebrity parents, former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham and her spouse, pro-soccer player David Beckham, I related to his accounts of family dysfunction, toxicity, and desire to be done with the drama.<\/a> But what I related to most was how long it took him to come forward. At 26 years old, he’s only just beginning to speak openly about his experiences with his parents.\"Three<\/p>\n

Darren Gerrish \/ Darren Gerrish\/WireImage<\/p>\n

Related: 15 Subtle Moments That Made People Realize Their “Nice, Normal Family” Was Actually Deeply Toxic<\/a><\/p>\n

I was 39 years old before I dared to talk about my own childhood. Some of my silence was owed to fear and confusion \u2013 who in their right mind airs their family\u2019s dirty laundry? And I already felt broken. What would people think? Besides, it wasn\u2019t all bad, right? But I also didn’t know any better. Surely\u00a0all\u00a0families treat their own children with unbridled derision\u2026right?<\/p>\n

I will never forget the first time I met my spouse\u2019s family. I was 33 years old and Matt and I had only been dating for a little while when he introduced me to his parents. Their love, warmth, and the way everyone got along with each other was baffling to me. I soon saw how Matt had no idea what it felt like to feel familial contempt. They trusted each other implicitly, with everything from opinions to personal property. No one was treated as though they were an inconvenience for simply existing.<\/p>\n

Related: 43 Hilarious Parents Who Made It Their Life’s Mission To Embarrass Their Kids<\/a><\/p>\n

Once I was exposed to what families are supposed to be for each other, I could not unsee it. Even still, it would be almost another decade before I attempted to unravel my own experiences. Seven more years would pass before I started\u00a0speaking openly about my own story growing up in a dysfunctional home<\/a>. I\u2019ve since written publicly about the drama surrounding my\u00a0grandfather\u2019s death<\/a>, my\u00a0estrangement with my mother<\/a>, and also my\u00a0desire to remain childfree<\/a>, a decision which stemmed from the narcissistic family abuse cycle from which I finally began to extricate myself.<\/p>\n

Still, the biggest obstacle I faced at the time was being believed. I started speaking out\u00a0before\u00a0best-selling memoirs like Jennette McCurdy’s\u00a0I’m Glad My Mom Died, and before Brooke Shields\u00a0offered a detailed account of her toxic relationship with her own mother.<\/a>\u00a0Beckham is merely the latest in a string of high-profile adult children who only just started to normalize complicated relationships with their families.<\/p>\n

And because I\u2019ve been there, I know what adult children who\u2019ve finally found their voice need most when they dare to come forward. It is a vulnerable act, to speak out about the tough aspects of childhood \u2013 particularly when the toughest parts were facilitated by our own families. The kindest, most humane thing we can do for adult children who open up about the dysfunction that altered their lives is believe them.\"A<\/p>\n

Dave Benett \/ Dave Benett\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

Related: 26 Crunchy Parenting Group Posts That’ll Melt Your Brain<\/a><\/p>\n

When I began to share my own experiences, I faced a cadre of naysayers who refused to believe that not all parents want what’s best for their children. “Honor thy mother and father” is deeply engrained in our culture — whether or not a person is religious or even Christian. I am neither, but children are often expected to abide by this idea that all parents are entitled to unwavering honor — no matter how badly they behave.\u00a0I only have middle fingers for this blind belief system and anyone who blindly clings to it.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, most people in my circle have been abundantly supportive and are at least acquainted enough with the world to know that some families are not safe spaces. I believe Brooklyn Beckham when he says that his own parents waged what amounts to psychological warfare against him and his spouse. He has his own family to protect now, and that is a motivation we can all relate to.<\/p>\n

Christina Wyman is a USA Today bestselling author and teacher living in Michigan. Her upcoming novel, \u201cBreakout<\/a>,\u201d is a fresh and funny middle-grade novel about a girl with chronic acne figuring out how to feel good in her own skin, and is available wherever books are sold,\u00a0including through local independent bookstores<\/a>. Her runaway debut hit, \u201cJawbreaker<\/a>,\u201d\u00a0is a middle-grade book that follows a seventh-grader with a craniofacial anomaly, and is a Publishers Weekly Best Books of 2023. Her sophomore novel, \u201cSlouch<\/a>,\u201d about a tall girl navigating friends, family, self-esteem, and boundaries, is a\u00a0Bank Street Best Children’s Book of the Year<\/a>. She has also written essays for the Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, ELLE Magazine, New York Magazine, and other outlets.<\/p>\n

Related: “My ‘Pullout Method’ Turns Three In November”: 31 Moms Who Were Hilariously Heartwarming Online<\/a><\/p>\n

Do you have a personal story you\u2019d like to see published on BuzzFeed? Send us a pitch at\u00a0essay-pitch@buzzfeed.com.<\/p>\n

Also in Parents: The Dumbest People Imaginable Really Do Walk Among Us, And Look! Here’s 23 Of Them Now! Just Yapping Away In Online Parenting Groups<\/a><\/p>\n

Also in Parents: 21 Moms And Dads Who Think They\u2019re The Main Character Of Their Families, Their Friend Groups, The PTA, The Soccer Sidelines, The Target Parking Lot, The Airport Security Line, The Doctor\u2019s Office, And Honestly Any Place With More Than One Person Present<\/a><\/p>\n

Also in Parents: People Are Confessing The “Normal” Things Their Parents Did Without Realizing How Much It Hurt Them, And It’s So Sadly Relatable<\/a><\/p>\n

Read it on BuzzFeed.com<\/a><\/p>\n