{"id":48015,"date":"2025-07-30T17:11:07","date_gmt":"2025-07-30T17:11:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/48015\/"},"modified":"2025-07-30T17:11:07","modified_gmt":"2025-07-30T17:11:07","slug":"my-husband-surprised-our-kids-with-a-puppy-but-he-didnt-tell-me-first-and-now-its-a-real-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/48015\/","title":{"rendered":"My husband surprised our kids with a puppy. But he didn’t tell me first, and now it’s a real problem."},"content":{"rendered":"

Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Dear Care and Feeding,<\/p>\n

My husband \u201cPark\u201d has put me in an impossible position.\u00a0One of his coworkers breeds Siberian Huskies and gave him a 10-week-old puppy to surprise our kids with.\u00a0It was a complete surprise to me, too\u2014the first I learned of it was when he brought \u201cRapunzel\u201d home.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been three months, and despite my best efforts, it\u2019s not working out. As I have come to learn, this is a very high energy breed, and with three kids who are 3, 5, and 7, I simply don\u2019t have the necessary time to exercise and train her.\u00a0So Rapunzel is a four-legged tornado who is inconsistently housebroken and who frequently howls.\u00a0My husband keeps telling me he will pitch in more with her, but it never happens.\u00a0When I approached Park about re-homing Rapunzel, he said if I wanted to do that, I would have to be the one to explain it to the kids.\u00a0I feel like I\u2019m trapped in a nightmare.\u00a0If I re-home the dog, I\u2019m the monster.\u00a0If I don\u2019t, I feel like I\u2019m on the verge of a nervous breakdown where I get in my car, drive away, and never look back.\u00a0What am I supposed to do here?<\/p>\n

\u2014Smothered<\/p>\n

Dear Smothered,<\/p>\n

What an incredibly careless and irresponsible thing to do to a group of people you are supposed to love! Surprising your family with a puppy is such a classic \u201cdumb sitcom dad\u201d move that you have to wonder if Park experiences the world in the same capacity as the rest of us.<\/p>\n

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Good news, though! If Park can bring home a dog without asking you, you can re-home that same dog without asking him. It sounds like Park will be a total coward and blame you. Imagine the lack of bravery to be incapable of standing up to 3, 5 and 7 year-olds! Instead, he should support your decision because he respects you. This would probably require a level of adulting that is far beyond him.<\/p>\n

Before you re-home Rapunzel, talk with your kids. Ideally you and Park would talk with them together, but it sounds like he lacks the fortitude for it\u2014did I mention he was a coward? You might even talk to your 7-year-old first and have her help you explain the situation to the younger ones. Frame the change as what is best for Rapunzel and, secondarily, best for your family. Even if kids don\u2019t say anything, they can see how much work Rapunzel is and how much stress it is causing you.<\/p>\n

Based on the actions you\u2019ve described, Park doesn\u2019t respect you or your time. Your husband is crummy. You might want to consider a new one or none at all. Maybe do both of the things you mentioned: re-home the dog and get in the car and drive away and never look back (but take the kids).<\/p>\n

\u2014Greg<\/p>\n

More Parenting Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had my dog Max for three years. He is a big, sweet, goofy guy who has helped me get through some tough personal issues. He is truly my heart dog. During a recent visit by my sister\u2019s family, Max nipped my almost 2-year-old nephew. Max was lying on the floor with a bone when my nephew walked quickly on that side of the room, which provoked Max to freak out. Fortunately, we were able to get him off after a couple minutes.<\/a><\/p>\n

The latest sex, parenting, and money advice from our columnists delivered to your inbox three times a week.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here. Dear Care…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":48016,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[3005,3006,8284,79,37512,6843],"class_list":{"0":"post-48015","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-science","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-family","10":"tag-kids","11":"tag-science","12":"tag-single-q","13":"tag-slate-plus"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48015","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48015"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48015\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48015"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48015"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48015"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}