{"id":53323,"date":"2025-08-01T20:16:07","date_gmt":"2025-08-01T20:16:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/53323\/"},"modified":"2025-08-01T20:16:07","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T20:16:07","slug":"my-toddlers-pet-goldfish-died-my-wifes-reaction-is-really-puzzling-and-upsetting-whats-the-best-way-to-deal-with-pet-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/53323\/","title":{"rendered":"My toddler’s pet goldfish died. My wife’s reaction is really puzzling and upsetting. What’s the best way to deal with pet death?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Dear Care and Feeding, <\/p>\n

My wife, \u201cLynn,\u201d and I have a 4-year-old daughter, \u201cMackenzie.\u201d Two weeks ago, Mackenzie\u2019s goldfish died while she was at daycare. Lynn\u2019s reaction has left me questioning things.<\/p>\n

To start, Lynn pulled our daughter out of daycare and brought her home so she could \u201cprocess\u201d the death of the fish.\u00a0Now she thinks Mackenzie should have a few therapy sessions as well!\u00a0Mackenzie was sad for a few days. But over the weekend, we got her a new fish, and she seems to have moved on.<\/p>\n

I think Lynn is the one who needs a shrink if she actually believes our daughter needs professional help over something this minor.\u00a0It\u2019s really becoming a point of contention between us.\u00a0Part of me wants to stand my ground against wasting money on something so insignificant, but another part of me says it might be worth it to get my wife to shut up about this.\u00a0Which is the best option?<\/p>\n

\u2014She Lost a Fish, Not a Limb<\/p>\n

Dear She Lost a Fish,\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

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Help! My Sister Is Pregnant and Doesn\u2019t Know Who the Father Is. She\u2019s Making It Everyone Else\u2019s Problem.
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My Colleague Wants Me to Move Desks Because I\u2019ve \u201cMade Her Uncomfortable.\u201d Uh, This Isn\u2019t My Fault!
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

While your wife\u2019s reaction might be a little dramatic (particularly taking your daughter out of school), there\u2019s no inherent harm in taking this moment seriously. This is, ostensibly, your daughter\u2019s first experience with death and loss, which can be very hard for a child to process. I\u2019m of the opinion that most people can benefit from therapy, including children. Speaking to a professional can help your daughter develop critical emotional regulation and coping skills and may enhance her ability to communicate her feelings. There\u2019s no harm in sending her for a couple of sessions. At her age, I would consider play therapy, which will place her in a fun, comfortable environment. Therapy can give your child a leg up when it comes to processing difficult events, and a professional may be better suited to support her than you and her mom are in this moment. If you just refuse to agree with your wife that therapy is needed, that\u2019s on you, but please don\u2019t categorize her instincts as \u201ccrazy,\u201d because she\u2019s simply trying to make sure your daughter has the tools she needs to be happy and well adjusted.<\/p>\n

\u2014Jamilah<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

More Parenting Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

My wife and I fight a lot. We try to keep perspective. For instance, it\u2019s hard to imagine that any couple with two stressful full-time jobs, little kids, and limited resources wouldn\u2019t be fighting a bunch. At a minimum, on a Monday morning, fighting can sometimes seem necessary just to push away the exhaustion and start moving. We\u2019re not like the people on Facebook. We don\u2019t get vacations. Years ago, I used to yell a lot during fights. Now, strangely, she\u2019s sometimes louder and more aggressive than me. Due to our past, however, I\u2019ll always be branded \u201cthe angry one.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

The latest sex, parenting, and money advice from our columnists delivered to your inbox three times a week.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here. Dear Care…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":53324,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[3005,3006,8284,79,37512,6843],"class_list":{"0":"post-53323","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-science","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-family","10":"tag-kids","11":"tag-science","12":"tag-single-q","13":"tag-slate-plus"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53323","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53323"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53323\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53323"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53323"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53323"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}