![\"video](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/video-1-thumb-split-4.jpg\")
<\/p>\n\n By the time Martha Stem decided she desperately needed relief from a fresh wave of anguish, she had been adding to what she calls her \u201ctrauma box\u201d for decades.\n <\/p>\n
\n A retired appellate paralegal and grandmother in her early 70s, Stem had compartmentalized all sorts of traumatic events so that she could focus on caring for others. In her \u201cbox\u201d were two sexual assaults while in college, pressure from loved ones to keep those incidents quiet, a suicide attempt, two divorces and other significant stressors. Packing away all these difficult experiences left her angry and depressed for much of her life.\n <\/p>\n
\n Then, during Hurricane Helene in September 2024, the box finally\u202fbusted open.\n <\/p>\n
\n Stem, who lives in Tampa, Florida, went to check on her ex-husband, Jimmy, after the storm. Jimmy, her second husband, had remained a close friend and a father figure to her children from her first marriage, and Stem was helping to care for him during his arduous eight-year battle with cancer.\n <\/p>\n
\n She found him dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.\n <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Hear participants describe how it feels to take psilocybin\n <\/p>\n
![\"video](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/video-1-thumb-split-4.jpg&q=w_860,c_fill\")
<\/p>\n
Hear participants describe how it feels to take psilocybin<\/p>\n
1:46 <\/p>\n
\n Jimmy\u2019s loss was devastating. Stem, who had been on antidepressant medication for about 20 years, found a psychotherapist she liked to help her cope with this most recent trauma. But it didn\u2019t feel like enough to address the decades of pain that had come rushing out.\n <\/p>\n
\n It was Palm Sunday 2025, and Stem was at a Catholic Mass with her family, kneeling in the pew after taking communion and tears started streaming down her face.\n <\/p>\n
\n \u201cI didn\u2019t do anything to stop it. I just let it go, because I realized this is a tidal wave,\u201d Stem said.\n <\/p>\n
\n She had tried traditional treatment. \u201cBut it\u2019s not helping, and you need to find another way,\u201d she told herself then.\n <\/p>\n
\n Even before Jimmy\u2019s death, Stem had been interested in psychedelic treatment,\u202fwhich has undergone a resurgence after decades of\u202fstagnation. That, in turn, has spurred a dramatic cultural shift that is leading some states to adopt laws that allow for use of the drugs in various contexts.\n <\/p>\n
\n But after losing Jimmy, Stem\u202ffelt motivated to try a retreat in Oregon centered around the drug psilocybin, the psychedelic compound in \u201cmagic\u201d mushrooms. Oregon became the first state to legalize psilocybin mushrooms in 2020, rolling out regulated psilocybin services <\/a>in 2023.\n <\/p>\n \n As psilocybin has become more available, more people are giving retreats like these a try. Dozens of people shared their stories with CNN, and each had their own unique experience, ranging from profound and life-changing to scary and disappointing.\n <\/p>\n \n Stem\u2019s desire for an alternative path came alongside rapid growth in the volume of research around the therapeutic potential of psychedelic drugs like psilocybin.\n <\/p>\n \n High doses of psilocybin are effective in treating depression, a growing body of research suggests, with promise for other conditions, like PTSD and addiction, said Dr. Albert Garcia-Romeu, associate director of the Center for Psychedelic and Consciousness Research at Johns Hopkins University.\n <\/p>\n \n The research is relatively new, however. While in use for thousands of years by Indigenous Mesoamerican communities, modern study of therapeutic psilocybin use began in the 1950s but didn\u2019t last long before being derailed by political and cultural pushback starting around the 1960s.\n <\/p>\n \n But attitudes have changed in the last 20 years. A growing focus on treating mental health concerns and a more open environment to therapeutic uses of drugs like marijuana has led to a resurgence in psilocybin research, Garcia-Romeu said.\n <\/p>\n \n While psilocybin is\u202fillegal under United States federal law<\/a>, more states are creating their own paths for legal use under state laws.\n <\/p>\n \n Colorado became the second state to make psilocybin legal with a 2023 law and issued its first\u202f\u201chealing center\u201d<\/a>\u202flicenses last year. A law adopted in New Mexico last year established that state\u2019s\u202fMedical Psilocybin Program<\/a>, now in development.\n <\/p>\n \n As she explored the options, Stem also considered retreats in South America featuring ayahuasca, another psychedelic long used by Indigenous peoples, which contains the hallucinogenic drug DMT and is largely illegal across the US.\n <\/p>\n \n The popularity of international ayahuasca retreats among Western seekers preceded the recent surge, in the last 10 years or so, of retreats featuring psilocybin in countries including Jamaica, where magic mushrooms are legal to grow and consume, and Mexico and Costa Rica, two countries where psychedelic use falls into legal gray areas.\n <\/p>\n \n But pursuing psilocybin within Oregon\u2019s regulatory framework felt right to Stem, who was seeking structure and support and didn\u2019t like the idea of being isolated in \u201cthe middle of an Amazon jungle\u201d on an ayahuasca retreat.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cI wasn\u2019t really worried about what it would be like,\u201d said Stem, who had tried psychedelic drugs a few times in college. \u201cBut I wanted it to be a guided, intentional journey.\u201d\n <\/p>\n \n The group retreat is just one format. Most of the psilocybin administered in Oregon, for example, is through individual sessions, according to Oregon Health Authority figures, with preparation required beforehand and\u202f\u201cintegration\u201d<\/a>\u202foffered afterward to help participants process the experience with a facilitator.\n <\/p>\n \n But for someone like Stem, traveling from Florida, the multiday group retreat offered the opportunity for two profound psychedelic journeys in a peaceful, well-supported environment. They were a \u201cyin and yang\u201d of experiences, she said \u2014 the first heavy and difficult, followed by a lighter and freer journey.\n <\/p>\n \n Stem said she\u2019s not discounting psychotherapy and medication, which have helped her. \u201cBut then it got to the point that talking about it wasn\u2019t helping anymore,\u201d Stem said.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cI need to change the way I think about things.\u201d\n <\/p>\n \n How can taking this drug possibly offer that change?\n <\/p>\n \n As with many medications, it\u2019s hard to know the exact mechanisms behind the efficacy of psilocybin. Some researchers suggest it disrupts entrenched traffic patterns in the brain or grows new neuron connections to change thinking. Others say the results from psilocybin could have to do with its anti-inflammatory effect, Garcia-Romeu said.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cPotentially, by regrowing these connections in the brain, or creating this new neuroplasticity, it\u2019s possible that it helps people to get out of some of their negative behavioral and emotional patterns,\u201d he added.\n <\/p>\n \n The benefits of only a couple of doses can last up to six months, with some people reporting relief from symptoms for more than a year, preliminary research shows.\n <\/p>\n \n Much of the benefit comes when psilocybin is paired with talk therapy, he said. He recommends enrolling in clinical trials for \u201ca safe, medically monitored setting\u201d because some retreat operators may not always thoroughly screen for dangerous conditions or medication use and provide sufficient mental health resources to make the experience positive and effective.\n <\/p>\n \n Psilocybin seems to be \u201cknocking on the door of FDA approval,\u201d said Dr. Lynn Marie Morski, president of the Psychedelic Medicine Association, which educates health care providers on the therapeutic use of psychedelics so they can answer patients\u2019 questions through the lenses of clinical evidence and harm reduction.\n <\/p>\n \n Psilocybin therapy first received a \u201cbreakthrough therapy\u201d designation for treatment-resistant depression from the US Food and Drug Administration in 2018, and now psilocybin drug products<\/a> are on track to be submitted to the FDA for possible approval in the not-too-distant future.\n <\/p>\n \n But some people seeking relief from mental health struggles are not willing to wait for psychedelics to receive federal approval. And the regulatory frameworks in Oregon and Colorado\u202fallow more people to take psilocybin than FDA-approved drugs would encompass. Some without formal medical diagnoses may seek psychedelic experiences for personal or spiritual growth or existential understanding.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cWhile there may be some overlap, in practice, different people with different levels of needs can benefit from different environments,\u201d said Ismail Ali, co-executive director of the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS), outlining how FDA approval of psilocybin drug products might create a system that could co-exist with the current state regulatory models.\n <\/p>\n \n Dozens of people who have participated in retreats in the US and abroad responded to a CNN callout about psilocybin retreats. Depression, PTSD and other mental health struggles, as well as grief and trauma, were motivating factors for many respondents. But some were primarily curious or found \u201cspiritual adventure\u201d in the experience.\n <\/p>\n Participants share what brought them to psilocybin therapy\n <\/p>\n Participants share what brought them to psilocybin therapy<\/p>\n 1:50 <\/p>\n Screening and preparation<\/p>\n \n Stem\u2019s research ultimately led her to a five-day group experience in July 2025\u202fwith Confluence Retreats, a center housed in cabins tucked away on 115 acres of forested land in Ashland, Oregon.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cIt was just lovely. Very calm, peaceful,\u201d Stem said of being immersed in nature, away from everything, with individual and group preparation and integration work with facilitators on site.\n <\/p>\n \n Between meditation and sessions with facilitators, there wasn\u2019t much downtime, but in quieter moments, Stem spent time journaling or walking in the forest. Meals, which she described as nutritious and nurturing, were prepared by a chef and served family-style or in cabins for more alone time.\n <\/p>\n \n Before leaving her home in Florida, Stem and the other retreat participants had individual and group video calls with facilitators about what was bringing them to the retreat and what to expect.\u202fShe also did assigned reading on childhood trauma. After the retreat, there\u2019s another set of calls to help participants integrate the experience and apply insights to their daily lives.\n <\/p>\n \n Before the retreat, Stem came off her antidepressant, in consultation with Confluence facilitators\u202fas well as her doctor (who Stem said was skeptical of the retreat). This is a common step because some research suggests certain antidepressant medications could blunt psilocybin\u2019s effects.\n <\/p>\n \n Like many psychedelic retreat operators in the US and abroad, Confluence requires prospective participants to provide a medical and psychiatric history to screen for conditions, circumstances and drugs that could present safety issues. Some cases are referred to physicians for medical or psychiatric review when additional evaluation is needed.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cPatients considering psilocybin should seek out a qualified practitioner for safety planning, particularly those on prescription medications,\u201d Morski said.\n <\/p>\n \n Safety planning is also particularly important for \u201cthose with a personal or family history of bipolar disorder, psychotic disorder, or schizophrenia spectrum disorder, or who have active substance use disorder, suicidal ideation, or convulsive disorders,\u201d she said.\n <\/p>\n \n Morski\u202fcautioned that using psychedelics in unsafe contexts \u2014 such as alone at home or under the guidance of an untrained or even nefarious facilitator \u2014 \u201cmay not deliver the intended benefits and can pose serious risks of physical harm, psychological distress, or both.\u201d\n <\/p>\n \n She advises people who are exploring retreats to ask if facilitators have additional training beyond psilocybin facilitator training \u2014 are there licensed therapists, counselors or social workers on staff? Do they work with a physician who will do a full medical clearance?\n <\/p>\n \n At Confluence, there are three facilitators, licensed through the Oregon Health Authority\u2019s Psilocybin Services division, present during the retreat for the eight-person group, according to founder Myles Katz, who is a licensed facilitator. At least one of those facilitators is a licensed mental health practitioner, said Katz, who served on the board of the Oregon Psilocybin Training Alliance (OPTA) and on committees helping to shape the state\u2019s framework, but does not have a therapeutic or medical background himself.\n <\/p>\n Processing grief and guilt<\/p>\n \n For Stem, the preparation, which also included breath work and music therapy, provided a safe container for her journeys.\n <\/p>\n \n In accordance with the law, the drug was administered at a state-licensed service center,\u202fOmnia Group<\/a>\u202fin nearby Ashland, on two days of the five-day retreat, with a day on either side for the group to prepare and process. There are currently nearly two dozen licensed service centers in the state of Oregon.\n <\/p>\n \n At the service center,\u202fthere were eight single floor beds in the room. Stem chose one in the corner for her first visit so she could turn, face the wall and keep to herself.\n <\/p>\n \n Facilitators had encouraged participants to set intentions in the preparatory work they did beforehand.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cMy intention was to open up the trauma box and deal with everything that was in there \u2014 just to be done with it,\u201d Stem said, particularly with her ex-husband\u2019s traumatic death.\n <\/p>\n \n During Confluence retreats, the starting dose is 15 milligrams and can go up as high as 34 milligrams on the second journey, Katz said. The participants started with a lower dose, which came as a gray powder mixed into hot water. It was served like a tea, with the option to add lemon and honey.\n <\/p>\n \n With a weighted blanket on her body, shades on her eyes, and earphones playing \u201ctrippy\u201d music curated for the psychedelic experience, Stem\u2019s first journey began.\n <\/p>\n \n Her experience began with a tingling sensation starting in her fingertips and toes, then moving up the trunk of her body until visualizations began.\n <\/p>\n \n Stem doesn\u2019t remember all the visualizations she had during that experience, but she does know that she saw colors and shapes and that she had a long conversation with Jimmy.\n <\/p>\n \n Guilt was one of the biggest obstacles she had to overcome, she said. \u201cWhen someone you love dies, it\u2019s like, \u2018Why was I mean that time, and why did I say that?\u2019\u201d she said.\n <\/p>\n \n They talked together, she said, and she was able to apologize for all the things she had been carrying. And he forgave her.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cI cried for probably five and a half hours,\u201d Stem said. \u201cIt was hard. It was very hard. I was exhausted by the end of the day.\u201d\n <\/p>\n \n For the next journey, which came two days later, Stem had a different objective.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cI wanted the second experience to kind of set my intention for life, going forward: to be at peace, to be happy, to be calm, to just find joy in life again, rather than be angry and crying all the time,\u201d she said.\n <\/p>\n \n Stem wanted to feel like she did as a little girl, carefree and playing on the beach, so she received permission to move her bed to the service center\u2019s porch and look out over its small courtyard garden, where lush ferns and other plants bring a taste of the natural world to the intown facility.\n <\/p>\n \n This time, when the medicine took over, she felt like she was a child again, sleeping on her grandparents\u2019 screened-in porch after a day in the sand. She asked for her guardian angels to visit.\n <\/p>\n \n And there was her grandmother.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cShe said, \u2018Honey, you\u2019re the only one in the family that has the gumption to get through what you\u2019ve done in life, and we\u2019re all so proud of you. You\u2019ve done the best you can, and we\u2019re always here for you. You just have to ask us for help when you need it,\u2019\u201d Stem said her late grandmother told her during her journey.\n <\/p>\n Varied experiences and effects<\/p>\n \n Psychedelic experiences vary from person to person, of course.\n <\/p>\n \n Effects of psilocybin can include visions or relived memories, altered perceptions of reality and losing sense of time and space.\u202fNot everyone sees \u201ccolors and visuals and shapes,\u201d Katz said, noting he personally has very rarely experienced them.\n <\/p>\n \n Physical side effects can include raised blood pressure and nausea.\n <\/p>\n \n The experience can be blissful and\/or frightening, which is why the phrase \u201cset and setting\u201d comes up a lot in discussing these drugs. A person\u2019s mindset and the surrounding environment and people can have big impacts on how the journey unfolds.\n <\/p>\n Psilocybin retreat goers speak about whether impacts lasted\n <\/p>\n Psilocybin retreat goers speak about whether impacts lasted<\/p>\n 1:46 <\/p>\n \n Many of the people who have participated in various psilocybin retreats and responded to CNN called their experiences \u201cprofound\u201d and \u201clife-changing.\u201d Some said their journeys were \u201chard\u201d or \u201cunpleasant.\u201d One respondent felt \u201ctraumatized\u201d by two trips that \u201cdid not go well.\u201d Their experiences unfolded at retreats in the US and abroad.\n <\/p>\n \n One respondent, Roger Sheffield, participated in a retreat in Colorado in early 2024, after psilocybin was legalized but before the state\u2019s current regulatory structure was in place.\n <\/p>\n \n Sheffield, 67, has struggled with treatment resistant major depressive disorder for more than 50 years and did not find the relief he was seeking. Sheffield, who lives in Florida, said he participated in a Blue Portal Wellness retreat in Colorado. One of his psilocybin journeys was \u201cthe most frightening experience I\u2019ve ever had on this Earth.\u201d\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cI felt like I was in a spaceship that was in the shape of a sphere that had a \n His facilitators, who he said were \u201cvery professional and experienced,\u201d thought that the journey was helpful in revealing things that had been buried within him, but Sheffield feels differently.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cFor me it brought up all these things, but it didn\u2019t change anything. And that \n While psilocybin didn\u2019t relieve his depression, Sheffield is glad he tried it and said he would do it again. It\u2019s \u201cabsolutely an option\u201d for others who \n \u201cIt didn\u2019t work for me \u2014 it\u2019s just unfortunate because it doesn\u2019t work for \n It helped Jonathan Daniel, a former law enforcement officer now living in Arkansas, who had been struggling with primarily PTSD before going to a MycoMeditations retreat in Jamaica.\n <\/p>\n \n The experience changed him.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cI felt like it was me again,\u201d Daniel said about how he felt after he returned home. \u201cThe voices inside my head, the struggles, the constant rumination was gone.\u201d\n <\/p>\n \n Many retreat participants across locations underlined the importance of preparation and integration for psychedelic experiences.\n <\/p>\n \n Setting intentions before a journey is common and can serve as a \u201ctouchstone\u201d during an experience that lacks focus or feels challenging, according to Philippe Lucas, director of research and safe access at\u202fMAPS.<\/a>\n <\/p>\n \n Letting go of expectations during the experience is also advised, said Ali, MAPS\u2019 co-executive director.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cThe journeyer can\u2019t control what comes up or force the medicine to go in a particular direction,\u201d Ali said. \u201cSometimes people go in with one intention and find something else entirely.\u201d\n <\/p>\n \n On her first psilocybin journey, Katrina Lewis, 46, said she was \u201choping to figure out a way to survive the ongoing emotional pain\u201d she has often felt.\n <\/p>\n \n Lewis, who lives in California, has struggled with depression for most of her life. She has participated in two psilocybin retreats \u2014 the first with Silo Wellness in Jamaica and the second with Confluence in Oregon.\n <\/p>\n \n The two retreats resulted in periods of being symptom-free from her depression, but she later returned to antidepressant medication and more traditional treatments.\n <\/p>\n \n But Lewis prefers how she feels after psilocybin.\n <\/p>\n \n \u201cThe medication that I take from my psychiatrist reduces the negative symptoms for me,\u201d Lewis said. \u201cIt makes the negative symptoms more bearable, it softens them, but it does not work to increase my capacity for joy and connection, which is what psilocybin has given to me.\n <\/p>\n![\"Psilocybin](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/gettyimages-1735498400.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"video](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/video-2-thumb-4-split.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"video](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/video-2-thumb-4-split.jpg&q=w_860,c_fill\")
<\/p>\n![\"Martha](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/fullsizerender-2.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Retreat](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/img-5816.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"By](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/dsc08400.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"The](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/dsc08420.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Martha](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/251208-lo-wellness-psilocybintraumarelief-photo-229547-0015.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"video](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/video-3-thumb-3-split.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"video](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/video-3-thumb-3-split.jpg&q=w_860,c_fill\")
<\/p>\n
porthole on it and that I was desperately trying to get out of this porthole and couldn\u2019t get to it and couldn\u2019t get to it. And I had this feeling: I have to get out of here, I have to get out of here \u2014 or I\u2019m going to die.\u201d\n <\/p>\n
was very frustrating,\u201d Sheffield said. But the experience hasn\u2019t scarred him or lingered in the form of nightmares, and he enjoyed getting away to Colorado. \u201cThe retreat part of it, I liked very much,\u201d he said.\n <\/p>\n
haven\u2019t found relief with other treatments, he said.\n <\/p>\n
everybody. But there\u2019s enough research and there\u2019s enough science behind this that it has helped people,\u201d he said.\n <\/p>\n![\"Katrina](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/img-2275-20260327212217957.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![\"Myles](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/iip-4604.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Future](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/gettyimages-1256093235.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/251208-lo-wellness-psilocybintraumarelief-photo-229547-0014.jpg\")
<\/p>\n