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\n No one on the crew is in top form during this charter, but Ellie\u2019s delusion after ruining breakfast and shooting her shot with Jo\u00e3o is on a whole other level.
\n Photo: Bravo\n <\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know about you, but I haven\u2019t been this entertained by an episode of Below Deck in some time. The stakes are high \u2014 suffice it to say, the tip is on the line \u2014\u00a0but the substance of the conflicts is absolutely ridiculous. If I had to rewrite this whole recap as a pitchable logline, it would be: A rich man\u2019s surprise drag party drives a superyacht crew, including a galley hand experiencing life-threatening delusion to the verge of a nervous breakdown. Between Mike\u2019s inability to conduct himself in a professional way and Ellie\u2019s hyperfocus on Jo\u00e3o, there is something seriously off with this interior crew. The exterior, led by Jo\u00e3o \u2014\u00a0whose main issue is figuring out how to end things with Ellie without sending her into a blind fury \u2014\u00a0is perfectly in sync. We have not heard one problem coming from the deck crew since they nearly lost<\/a> a guest out snorkeling. It\u2019s a good thing (I think?) that there is enough drama among the interior crew to last an entire season.<\/p>\n When we pick up on the beach dinner, Alesia is riling Daisy up about her potential love triangle with Jo\u00e3o and Ellie. But Daisy \u2014 a mature person with strong common sense \u2014 points out that Ellie obviously really likes Jo\u00e3o, so she\u2019s not going to get involved in all that. Besides, the woman is petrifying! Daisy ultimately decides to speak with Jo\u00e3o about the whole mess before things spin out of control. Meanwhile, Ben grills lobster, baby-back ribs, and vegetables for dinner, and the guests discuss the size of their penises, lucky us.<\/p>\n After dinner, a fire dancer arrives to perform. Everyone tries spitting fire, including Alesia, who loves it, and Daisy, who hates it. The guests, who are fun, loud, and obviously angling to get a bit messy \u2014 why not, the cameras are on! \u2014 love Alesia, whom they call by her nickname, Bean. When they get back to the boat from dinner, they tell Jenna that Alesia \u201cdid a really good job at blowing fire,\u201d and Jenna replies with a grin: \u201cI\u2019m sure she did.\u201d Sensing there\u2019s drama between them, the guests then tell Alesia what Jenna said. If only they knew that the two of them have been fighting nightly over the custody of a multicolored penis plushie \u2026<\/p>\n The drama seed planted by the guests doesn\u2019t grow. For one, Jenna is feeling more secure in her deepening relationship with Eddy; also, the main drama with Alesia in her department is her endless bickering with Mike. He thinks Alesia \u201ctakes life way too seriously,\u201d which is saying something about what he thinks taking something seriously means. He is getting so comfortable on the boat that, when Daisy tells him to clean up before going to bed, he snaps back that he\u2019s \u201cnot a cleaner.\u201d In a confessional, Daisy worries about Mike\u2019s developing ego, which might be a problem. \u201cAnd he doesn\u2019t want a problem with me,\u201d she concludes.<\/p>\n The next morning starts full of optimism. Jo\u00e3o tells Mike that he will end things with Ellie that very same day, before they get more complicated. Primary Tyler and his friend Nick meet with Jason and Daisy to come up with a plan for the onboarding of Tyler\u2019s makeup artist, Alex, later that day. Tyler paid \u2014 and I want us to sit with this information for a moment \u2014 over\u00a0$12,000 to bring him on for drag night. However high-maintenance his request may be, Tyler is nice about it: He sounds heartfelt thanking Daisy and Jason for accommodating him. The surprise means something to him; it\u2019s special.<\/p>\n It\u2019s over breakfast that this godforsaken day starts to fall apart. Ben makes a batch of soft-scrambled eggs for the guests and asks Ellie to hit it with some black pepper and a drizzle of olive oil before it\u2019s brought up. Ellie grabs the wrong squeeze bottle and drizzles the eggs with dish soap instead. The guests notice instantly \u2014 Tyler even gives Ben a bite to try. When she tries it herself in the pantry, Daisy spits her bite into the trash. Ben is frighteningly calm as he walks into the galley and asks: \u201cIs it true? That you put washing-up liquid in the eggs?\u201d Ellie\u2019s face falls. She\u2019s speechless. Ben takes one look at the bottle Ellie used and knows it\u2019s detergent. What I want to know is: Why was the detergent bottle in the prep area? Shouldn\u2019t it remain \u2026 on the sink?<\/p>\n Ellie thinks she\u2019s going to get fired, but she hasn\u2019t yet realized how powerfully she scared Ben with her outburst. \u201cI blame myself,\u201d he tells her, though he keeps repeating \u201cit\u2019s a shame\u201d about such good eggs. So much for the guy who came up in kitchens where a knife was thrown at your head for slicing a carrot a third of an inch too thick! The only serious repercussion Ellie faces, at least for now, is the embarrassment of having to tell Jason what happened. After struggling to find the words to react to Ellie\u2019s confession, he walks up to the sundeck and unleashes his charm on the guests. He promises to make the crew\u2019s tip back on the snorkeling trip.<\/p>\n Oh, God, the snorkeling trip. Guests Dev and Brian decide to skip it, which is an inconvenience for Daisy, who planned on the guests being away when the makeup artist arrived. Who skips a snorkeling trip? These people don\u2019t know how to vacation! Daisy radios the whole crew to warn them to be careful around Dev and Brian when Alex arrives \u2014\u00a0his presence is a secret. She teams up with Eddy to concoct a distraction plan for Dev and Brian, who go paddleboarding while Daisy sets Alex up in Tyler\u2019s cabin. Back from the snorkeling trip, Tyler is so excited to start his makeup that he basically runs to his room, not even waiting for Jason\u2019s go-ahead to disembark the tender. While he, Alex, and his friend Nick eat their sushi in the room, giddy with anticipation, Mike fatefully serves the guests having lunch on the sundeck. When Ashley tells him that she\u2019s doing everyone\u2019s makeup for drag night, Mike blurts out: \u201cWas there a makeup artist onboard, I heard?\u201d<\/p>\n I wanted to scream. The guests are peeved that Tyler would have snuck a makeup artist onboard, since everyone was supposed to do their own makeup. \u201cIt was fun while it lasted,\u201d Mike tells himself as he goes to speak to Daisy, knowing he messed up badly. He tries to maintain that he didn\u2019t know it was a secret, which is somehow worse: There is so much evidence of Daisy reiterating that the primary\u2019s main request was that the crew help him pull off this surprise. Daisy worries that if he finds out, Tyler will flip, but more than that, she points out that Mike\u2019s mistake is indicative of his larger issues: He\u2019s not listening to critical information, and he\u2019s showing no regard for his team\u2019s efforts to bring Tyler\u2019s vision to life. Her suggestion is that Mike try to repair his mistake by charming the guests and asking them not to say anything to Tyler. He finds some success with Brian, Ashley, and even Spencer, whom the former two said would be hard to convince not to say anything. Meanwhile, Daisy vents to Jo\u00e3o about Mike. I wondered why she didn\u2019t go straight to the captain \u2014 it was a huge mess-up on Mike\u2019s part, to compound that morning\u2019s egg-gate.<\/p>\n Speaking of egg-gate, if Ellie is feeling bad about it, she\u2019s not showing it. She\u2019s more concerned about baking a lemon cheesecake meringue for Jo\u00e3o\u2019s birthday, his favorite. She believes \u2014 it\u2019s hard to type these words \u2014 that her relationship with him is like \u201ca high-stakes lottery ticket: if you win, it\u2019s life-changing.\u201d Ben, still scared shitless, offers to help in any way he can. He even offers to make the icing, but Ellie wants to do the whole thing herself. For now, though, they need to focus on dinner, which Ben can\u2019t remember if it\u2019s set for 7:45 p.m. or 8:45 p.m. Daisy, who has to step out of the shower to confirm what she told the entire crew \u2014\u00a0dinner is at 7:45 p.m. \u2014 is one stupid question away from losing her cool.<\/p>\n Struggling to set the table, Alesia demands Jenna\u2019s help right now, and even demonstrates irritation that Jenna \u201ctook way too long\u201d helping one of the guests with their makeup instead of being available to do Alesia\u2019s job for her. Daisy has to pull Mike out of his cabin to help set up the catwalk, lest he spend the rest of the night working on his hair. Tyler\u2019s friends, already annoyed, think that Tyler\u2019s elaborate drag getup is a way for him to \u201cparade his money.\u201d When he reveals Alex\u2019s presence at the fashion show, none of his friends clap or whoop or are excited. It made me kind of sad. He was really looking forward to this! Besides, his friends are in no position to begrudge him the joy of being the center of attention. They are on a superyacht for free! Anyway, the energy picks back up when Eddy appears wearing one of Alesia\u2019s dresses and a purple wig.<\/p>\n Despite Mike\u2019s attempts to prevent it, Tyler learns that Mike ruined the surprise not one minute into dinner service. He confronts Mike about it, and Mike straight-up lies to the primary\u2019s face. He even says that he will try to find out who ruined the secret and let him know, despite everyone knowing that it was Mike (it\u2019s recorded!). It\u2019s a ballsy move, and though this drama ends here for now, I\u2019m looking forward to learning whether it will reemerge in the feedback cards. It tracks that Mike\u2019s response would be to lie; earlier in the day, Mike told Ellie that if he had been the one to put soap in the eggs, he would have never admitted to it. Then he asked if he could get an appointment with her massage parlor.<\/p>\n Instead of keeping his head down and trying to redeem himself, Mike resumes his bickering with Alesia, with whom he\u2019s irritated because earlier, struggling to manage cocktail service, she implied that he wasn\u2019t doing anything and should be helping her instead. It is aggravating that Alesia is always demanding that everyone help her, but it\u2019s impossible to defend Mike. As Daisy is going to bed, Mike provokes Alesia, telling her that he doesn\u2019t \u201cwant to have this conversation\u201d when Alesia asks if they can rely on each other during the night shift. It\u2019s impossible to describe their arguments without sounding like a child myself, but he did start it. Daisy is so tired that all she can do is beg them to stop.<\/p>\n In the morning, she isn\u2019t any more rested. She vents to Jenna about Alesia and Mike\u2019s constant bickering \u2014 in a confessional, Jenna reminds us that she is younger than \u201cboth these idiots\u201d \u2014\u00a0and about Ellie being up early to make Jo\u00e3o\u2019s birthday cake while there are guests onboard. This, not 24 hours after egg-gate! Instead of trying to redeem her massive screwup, Ellie works on the cheesecake (\u201cA bit of a project,\u201d according to Ben) up to an hour before guest breakfast. This is even more aggravating given that the previous night, Jo\u00e3o tried and failed to break things off with her. It\u2019s his own fault. He called her up to the bridge and word-vomited so incoherently that Ellie left their talk thinking they were on the same page, and Jo\u00e3o left relieved that he was finally free to pursue things with Daisy. It started well enough \u2014 from his body language and the way he said, \u201cI like you \u2026,\u201d anyone would be able to tell what was coming \u2014\u00a0and Ellie even picked up on his intention, asking if he wanted to just be friends. Instead of taking the exit, Jo\u00e3o said that he \u201cwould still love to hang out\u201d with her and that \u201cnothing changes.\u201d Honestly, it\u2019s inexplicable.<\/p>\n Even if he did mean what Ellie heard, that things were moving too fast for him, it\u2019s still insane for her to keep her cake plan. When Daisy goes over the breakfast menu with Ben, he excuses the cake by saying that Ellie woke up early to do it; but when he gets back in the galley, he tells Ellie to wrap it up so they can focus on breakfast. By the time Ellie and Ben are yelling at her to bring up three dishes at once, Daisy is ready to blow a gasket. They keep calling her over the radio, interfering with the boat\u2019s docking. Daisy finally blows up on Ben and Ellie, telling them that she\u2019s the only one available for service because the deck crew is docking the boat, Jenna is making drinks, and Alesia is asleep. She feels like she\u2019s the only one focused on the job, while the rest of the crew selfishly pursue their random agendas. She is not wrong. From the preview, it seems like next week, we\u2019ll be back at Below Deck\u2019s Bravo-fied Casa Amor<\/a>, where shit will officially hit the fan. I am seated!<\/p>\n Sign up for the Housewives Institute Bulletin<\/p>\n Dame Brian Moylan breaks down all the gossip and drama, on- and off-screen, for dedicated students of the Reality Television Arts and Sciences.<\/p>\n Vox Media, LLC Terms and Privacy Notice<\/p>\n