tiramisu<\/a>. It starts at her cover reveal party, which Kyle, Erika, and Sutton all decide to skip because Dorit, a Shein bikini that comes with a built-in yeast infection, has treated them like shit all summer long. When she realizes that they\u2019re all no-shows, she tells her hot party planner, \u201cI\u2019m surrounded by fucking cunts.\u201d I hate to quote Kyle Richards, but if you meet more than one cunt in a day, maybe you scheduled some me time on April 21 because you\u2019ll be seeing yourself next Tuesday. Dorit reveals her cover. She is Unburdened, unbridled, and unbothered. She is homeless, not toothless. She is Lucy Lucy, and she is (what?) Apple Juice. You know that\u2019s right.<\/p>\nWhile the party is happening, Erika is at Sutton\u2019s in the cuntiest knit polo shirt (hey sis, can I offer you $49.99 for it on Vinted?) and tells Sutton that she thought that she should attend. She thinks about all the times that Dorit has supported her, but then she remembers how poorly Dorit treated her in Italy, how she said Boz was a better friend to her, how she said she was attacking her job, and she decides she has met her limit.<\/p>\n
That is what this whole episode is about: hitting limits. We see Kyle, Erika, and Sutton all reach their limit with Dorit. Something happens when Dorit goes over to Rachel\u2019s living room, which has become the debriefing center for this whole show. I\u2019m so impressed by how Rachel has essentially seized the center diamond by being the one with such emotional intelligence that she can clearly see what is happening in all of these friendships. Anyway, Dorit, a scrunchie for pubes, says that she\u2019s overwhelmed with her life and that\u2019s why she\u2019s acting \u201cerratic.\u201d She says, \u201cI\u2019m not myself. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
But it\u2019s the way that she says it. She\u2019s not saying \u201cI\u2019m not myself. I\u2019m sorry. I need your help.\u201d It\u2019s not, \u201cI\u2019m not myself. I\u2019m sorry. Have some patience with me.\u201d It\u2019s not, \u201cI\u2019m not myself. I\u2019m sorry. But I\u2019m trying my best to be a good person.\u201d It reads more like, \u201cI\u2019m not myself. I\u2019m sorry. But I\u2019m actually not because I am making my problems your problems, and if you don\u2019t like it, then you can get the fuck out of here, you fucking cunt. I\u2019m going to smoke a cigarette. I hate you.\u201d Later, after all the fighting at Kathy\u2019s Hilton Garden Inn and Suites, Rachel has the same realization. \u201cIt\u2019s not what you\u2019re saying, it\u2019s how you\u2019re saying it,\u201d she tells all of them. These fights aren\u2019t about substance because there is little substance to them; it\u2019s all about tone. Dorit\u2019s tone is not saying she wants to reach d\u00e9tente or find understanding; Dorit\u2019s tone is saying that she wants dominance. She wants these women to just shut up, tell her she\u2019s pretty, and comb her hair while she cries about having to send her kids to public school. Well, boo fucking hoo. They aren\u2019t interested in that, so Dorit just keeps shouting at them. Kyle, Erika, and Sutton\u2019s tones aren\u2019t great either, but they\u2019re following Dorit\u2019s lead.<\/p>\n
When she arrives at the party, Dorit, a stiletto stitched together from a million bunions, walks in and sees the whole cast arranged on two couches. She says, \u201cA weaker person would feel intimidated by this display of a lion\u2019s den. I don\u2019t see lions. I see cowards.\u201d What is this woman even talking about? Why are they cowards? Also, they aren\u2019t trying to eat Dorit, they just want her to shut up and listen to them, to be able to have a conversation. Dorit\u2019s problem has always been one of vulnerability. She didn\u2019t want us to see that her marriage was bad, her finances were worse, and that her accent was as fake as her nose. She couldn\u2019t let anything look imperfect, so she lied about it. Now that we\u2019ve seen the truth, the lying won\u2019t work anymore, so she goes on the attack. She\u2019s rude and says what a hard time she\u2019s having without actually addressing the hard time. It\u2019s the same kind of deflection tactic, but this one brings the drama, so no one is bothering to look under her hood, or, and this would be a more fascinating peek, into her books.<\/p>\n
When Kyle and Dorit start talking across the two couches, like it\u2019s already the reunion, Kyle says that she\u2019s always had Dorit\u2019s back with her burglary, with her fake accent, even with (don\u2019t say it) Lucy Lucy Apple Juice. Dorit responds, \u201cWhat about my divorce? Let\u2019s keep it in the last three years.\u201d This is it. This is the tone. Kyle says that she\u2019s not Dorit\u2019s enemy, and Dorit tells her to stop acting like one. Kyle has been speaking about Dorit all season, but she makes a valid point that it\u2019s the whole enterprise. They talk about each other to each other. Kyle not only talks about Dorit to everyone, but she also talks about everyone else to everyone else. They all do. That is the job. Kyle finally elucidates her point that she\u2019s doing what they\u2019re supposed to be, but Dorit is only mad at her about it. \u201cEvery single person here has done no different than what I was doing; nobody spoke maliciously, including myself,\u201d she says, and when no one seconds her emotion, she shouts, \u201cCAN SOMEONE PLEASE SPEAK UP AND SAY THAT?\u201d<\/p>\n
Then Dorit snarls, \u201cWhat did I do to you, Erika?\u201d Erika tells her, first of all, not to speak to her like that. Dorit spits out, \u201cDon\u2019t talk to you like what?\u201d Don\u2019t worry, Erika, I\u2019ll say it for you: Girl, just like that! Erika tells her that they can have a civil conversation, and Dorit says, \u201cYou have my undivided attention,\u201d but she says it in a way that doesn\u2019t say that at all. It doesn\u2019t say that she cares about Erika\u2019s feelings; it\u2019s a tone that says she\u2019s already pissed off and she\u2019s not looking to be otherwise.<\/p>\n
Erika hits this Lee Press-On Nail right on the head and says, \u201cI want you to soften your edges because you can\u2019t keep letting us have it one by one all the fucking time.\u201d That\u2019s what this fight is actually about: how Dorit treats these confrontations, these moments of conflict, and how she\u2019s fighting dirty. She doesn\u2019t want friends, she wants fireworks, and that\u2019s what she\u2019s getting.<\/p>\n
Dorit says, \u201cThis book cover release was so meaningful and important to me.\u201d I mean (teehee) I hear you (ha), Dorit, but (harhar), how can we (lolololol) take you seriously when (titter) you\u2019re talking about a book cover release party being so meaningful? It\u2019s at this point that Erika goes full Cancer on Dorit, pulling into her shell and just letting the waves of Dorit\u2019s faux outrage wash over her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you pick up the phone and fucking call me?\u201d Dorit asks.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t want to,\u201d Erika says as cold as a cryochamber in Greenland.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need a minute to assess our situation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou do that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re OK with what you did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYup.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt least now I can see the real you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, you can see.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I can process it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, sis. Whatevs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve got nothing else to say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a rock.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re good.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean, we\u2019re not, but\u2026 cool.\u201d<\/p>\n
The final confrontation is between Sutton and Dorit, and this one is both hilarious and infuriating. Sutton sits down with Dorit as she\u2019s doing her exit interview with Boz and wants to know why, at Rachel\u2019s party last episode, Dorit, a sequin stuck in the back of your throat, said that she\u2019s going to hate her forever. Oh, Catholic Jesus. That was a joke. Dorit says as much, and, golly, this is the only thing she was right about the whole episode, but still, it was a mean joke, and the way she says this is meaner than an emo kid being forced to go to church. She then tells Sutton that she has to go back to her kids, so she needs to wrap it up. Honestly, at this point, trying to fake some empathy and some actual forgiveness for these people would be faster for Dorit than to just keep shouting them down.<\/p>\n
Sutton wonders what everyone on the cast wonders: why can\u2019t Dorit take a minute and speak to them with kindness? Then Dorit goes full feral. \u201cWhat you have to say is irrelevant to me. You\u2019re out of lives. Your nine lives are up.\u201d Sutton tells her that she\u2019s not a cat, even though she\u2019ll wear a sweater with one on a date. Dorit then says what she\u2019s really meant this whole day, this whole month, this whole season, \u201cI\u2019m dead serious right now. I\u2019m done. I\u2019m not interested. I\u2019m done. I\u2019m not interested in resolution. Sutton, I know you need a moment\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Instead of facing this again, Sutton decides to flee the scene, but it seems like Dorit is the one who needs the moment. She wanted them all day as she cussed and insulted and curdled her way through the group. That\u2019s no way to live on this show, where the name of the game isn\u2019t just conflict but conflict and resolution, which Dorit, like so many fired Housewives before her, doesn\u2019t want. That\u2019s no way to live on the Earth, either. For people to see us, we need to see other people; for people to hear us, we need to listen; to have our words echo in the ears of others, we need to temper them with silence. Nothing in life is about having our way; nothing in life is about domination. We don\u2019t do anything on our own. One bee can\u2019t make honey, it can\u2019t build a hive, it can\u2019t keep the queen warm by all flapping their wings in unison. They can only do that together, with their little dances to communicate. They can only create that sweetness by operating together, each doing their job, understanding the needs and uses of the others around them, and helping them in the divine project of feeding themselves, raising their young, and feeding the world. The bees that work together can create miracles. The bee that flies alone gets swatted, or at least turned into a necklace at some rich lady\u2019s garden party.<\/p>\n
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