{"id":617324,"date":"2026-05-01T13:49:11","date_gmt":"2026-05-01T13:49:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/617324\/"},"modified":"2026-05-01T13:49:11","modified_gmt":"2026-05-01T13:49:11","slug":"breaking-news-word-gets-out-that-cowley-hall-is-being-replaced-with-new-and-improved-latino-bar-and-grill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/617324\/","title":{"rendered":"BREAKING NEWS: Word gets out that Cowley Hall is being replaced with new and improved Latino Bar and Grill"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"The<\/a> <\/p>\n

As we all know, the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse\u2019s Cowley Hall<\/a> is currently being taken down<\/a> and replaced with the second phase<\/a> of the Prairie Springs Science Center. This $92.8 million dollar project is currently underway; however, we are not being informed of the whole truth. While the public is being led to believe that this project will bring about a new science building, offices, classrooms, instructional labs and research labs, word of what truly is being built in place of Cowley Hall has gotten out.<\/p>\n

Rather than phase two of Prairie Springs Science Center, UWL has decided to build a new and improved Latino Bar and Grill in place of Cowley Hall. After the unfortunate revoking<\/a> of Latino Bar and Grill\u2019s liquor license on Feb. 19, 2025, they closed but are now making an unexpected comeback.<\/p>\n

Latino Bar and Grill made a strong impression on many during its brief time being open. Not only did people bond in competition for how many citations they could get in one semester, but they also found their love of alcoholism within those walls. It was a place where freshman could experience their first taste of adulthood and fireball.<\/p>\n

The source of this information is none other than the Acorn\u2019s very own Page Turner. Over the weekend Page Turner was fishing down in Florida for a new Legends shark<\/a> when she was approached by the Latino\u2019s owner, Marissa Acosta. Page said, \u201cI got so inspired by the owner\u2019s resilience I reeled in the best catch of my life \u2013 a real-life megalodon.\u201d Unfortunately, the catch must be thrown back because, \u201cLegends can\u2019t handle all that plus I don\u2019t need the government after me for poaching endangered species\u201d Page explained.<\/p>\n

The new Latino\u2019s is said to be a minimum of five stories tall, and students have the choice of using meal swipes at the location making it the perfect on campus location for Thursday\u2019s when the swipes reset. Additionally, Latino\u2019s 2.0 will be open all weekend long as opposed to some other locations on campus.<\/p>\n

Word of this secret development spread fast. Two additional students, Larry Noodle and Sasha Storysmith, had some input regarding the development of the new Latino\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Sasha replied to a question regarding her feelings about the development of Latino\u2019s rather than the science building by saying, \u201cNah. I don\u2019t give a fat flying fart about mitosis. Do you know what the powerhouse of my cell is? A vodka redbull.\u201d Larry Noodle was asked the same question and replied similarly, \u201cI\u2019ve never really believed in science anyway, so I am not too worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

After discovering this news, Chancellor Beeby<\/a> was asked about this development to which he responded, \u201cStudents will finally get a more hands-on lab experience. While Latino\u2019s will return it will also be a place of education during weekdays.\u201d He<\/a> went on to explain students would be experimenting with drink ratios.<\/p>\n

The new Latino\u2019s will also be equipped with state-of-the-art sunglasses rather than \u201cout of date\u201d safety goggles. Not only will the sunglasses make their appearance, but there will be an addition of new lab coats as well. Hawaiian lab coats will be provided to all students partaking in the lab.<\/p>\n

With a new building comes new class opportunities such as, Mixology 101: Introduction to Liquid Chem, Frat Flicking for the Informed Citizen and a fan favorite \u2013 History of Alcohol: From Ancient Fermentation to Frat Parties. Tutors will also be available during Happy Hour and professors offices will be moved to the karaoke lounge being added. Students will also have the benefit from an aesthetic study spot called the Hookah Lounge.<\/p>\n

After finding out this additional information the students from the earlier interviews were informed and replied with enthusiasm, \u201cI am fired up like a f****** volcano, man. I think this is great because it increases campus safety. [\u2026] All those kids in the dorms do not have to walk downtown anymore and risk being hit by cars or buying bodily organs from some guy in a trench coat. Instead, they\u2019re taking a short jaunt to the on-campus Latino\u2019s. Isn\u2019t that beautiful?\u201d said Noodle. Noodle brings up a valid counter to any disagreement; this establishment may prove to be more beneficial to students than the original plan of the science building alone.<\/p>\n

Sasha Storysmith was asked how the information affected her personally to which she responded, \u201cI dug into the depths of my closet to find my piece of string, hardly visible, borderline public nudity going out tops I used to wear because I knew I\u2019d finally be needing them again.\u201d Having the proper attire for such a grand opening is important as no newcomer wants to have too much coverage and be compared to a nun.<\/p>\n

Larry Noodle added his part to the question with a sentimental moment, \u201cI\u2019ve never had a great relationship with my father, but one thing we bond over is drinking [\u2026] I told him the news, and we have plans to go opening night and buy shots for everyone present. For the first time in a while, I feel\u2026hopeful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Not only will this bring about new student opportunities, but also family bonding<\/a> and the growth of relationships. Latino Bar and Grill was a happy place for many and upon its return a new era of Thirsty Thursday<\/a> is coming into view.<\/p>\n

DISCLAIMER: All articles featured in The Acorn are creative, satirical and entirely fictional pieces. They are not intended to be interpreted as genuine news.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"As we all know, the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse\u2019s Cowley Hall is currently being taken down and replaced…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":617325,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[4,450,451,3,452,453],"class_list":["post-617324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-breaking-news","tag-breaking-news","tag-breakingnews","tag-headlines","tag-news","tag-top-stories","tag-topstories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/617324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=617324"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/617324\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/617325"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=617324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=617324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=617324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}