{"id":620876,"date":"2026-05-03T10:26:12","date_gmt":"2026-05-03T10:26:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/620876\/"},"modified":"2026-05-03T10:26:12","modified_gmt":"2026-05-03T10:26:12","slug":"fbi-director-kash-patels-denials-get-oddly-specific","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/620876\/","title":{"rendered":"FBI Director Kash Patel’s Denials Get Oddly Specific"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\tOn Saturday Night Live<\/a>, FBI Director Kash Patel<\/a> attempted to put to rest allegations of workplace incompetence and abuse of privileges\u2014only to cause more skepticism about his behavior.<\/p>\n

\n\tPatel, played by actor, comedian and filmmaker Aziz Ansari<\/a>, was brought up to the White House briefing room podium by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (Colin Host), himself the subject of multiple controversies. The FBI director began by addressing the assassination attempt of Donald Trump<\/a> last week last week at the White House Correspondents\u2019 Association dinner.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cWe conducted an investigation that could not have been more thorough. We dotted every \u2018t\u2019 and bulged every \u2018eye,’\u201d he joked, imitating Patel\u2019s stare. \u201cAnd for those of you who think I\u2019ve done a bad job running the FBI, what if I told you this agency is only six weeks away from pinpointing the exact location of Osama bin Laden?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tThe FBI director then noted the historic nature of his appointment. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cI am a trailblazer. I am the first Indian person to suck at their job. Everyone says Indian people are smart, hard-working, incredibly intelligent. I\u2019ve proved without a shadow of a doubt that we can be just as incapable and incompetent as the whites,\u201d he said, high-fiving the defense secretary.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\n\tWhen members of the press asked about his reported drinking<\/a>, the Trump appointee gave an oddly specific answer, which turned out to be the first of several.<\/p>\n

\t\tTrending Stories<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cLet me be clear: this FBI director has never been drunk or hungover on the job. This FBI director has never filled a 40-ounce travel mug with ice-cold gin and a swig of dry vermouth and six lemon peels and called it a \u2018Kashtini,’\u201d he said. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cThis FBI director has never used taxpayer dollars to take a private jet to fly him and his girlfriend to three different Buffalo Wild Wings locations across the country to see if they could taste the difference,\u201d he continued, alluding to criticism of<\/a> Patel\u2019s use of taxpayer-funded government planes to attend sporting events, concerts, and to see his girlfriend. \u201cThis FBI director has definitely not stood on top of a couch in the VIP room at Tau Nightclub and Asian Bistro and shouted, \u2018Who wants the nuclear codes? JK, I ain\u2019t got \u2019em!’\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"On Saturday Night Live, FBI Director Kash Patel attempted to put to rest allegations of workplace incompetence and…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":620877,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[26771,12,88,48296,11448,12015,12016],"class_list":["post-620876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-aziz-ansari","tag-donald-trump","tag-entertainment","tag-kash-patel","tag-late-night-tv","tag-saturday-night-live","tag-snl"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/620876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=620876"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/620876\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/620877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=620876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=620876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=620876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}