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\n The cast trip is Atlanta\u2019s chance to prove it deserves to be at the top of the Bravo food chain, but the wives are squandering the opportunity.
\n Photo: Bravo\n <\/p>\n
We love cast trips because they\u2019re a treat for us, an initiation (or hazing, depending on who you ask) for newbies, and a showcase for veteran Housewives to do their thing. But above all, they\u2019re an experiment for producers, who, for a few days out of the season, get all their test subjects in one confined location with no easy way home. However, production can only do so much as puppeteers; a great cast trip requires participation and performance from the wives, and what we\u2019re seeing tonight isn\u2019t going to cut it if RHOA is serious about bringing the franchise back to its venerated position on the network.<\/p>\n
Even Cynthia, production\u2019s on-camera proxy, couldn\u2019t do enough shepherding to salvage the beginning of the trip as half of the full-time cast members failed to step up to the plate. I know producers were frustrated because, between the budding beefs and the testy situations awaiting them as they checked into the Dallas Airbnb, there was plenty of material to teed up and ready, but most of the talent fumbled at almost every turn. Some of this does lend to a bit of entertainment because of how chaotic things get, but it pales in comparison to the magic we know a cast trip can bring.<\/p>\n
It starts with a clear disregard for Cynthia\u2019s theme. I can pardon this because, culturally and generationally (Black zillenial here), beyond what I absorbed through pop-culture osmosis, I don\u2019t know much about Dynasty either. But the least they could do is tease up their hair and pay their respects to the iconic Diahann Carroll. Only Porsha and Phaedra understand the assignment \u2014 I\u2019m not sure why Cynthia looks like she\u2019s going to a Halloween party as Luann DeLesseps, bless her heart, but we forgive her since she gave us an Adrienne Maloof sighting that wasn\u2019t through the veil of heavily filtered pictures. The rest of the ladies file onto the private plane dressed as if they\u2019re going to five different functions.<\/p>\n
Pinky commits the next two offenses: first, she forces everyone on the plane, including the employees, to hold hands for a never-ending, performative Baptist prayer. Then she taints the luxury moment by going on and on about her bankruptcy as Shamea sits back, aghast, at the open display of brokenness. The more Pinky gets stuck in this bankruptcy loop while also talking out of the other side of her mouth about how rich she is, as she will in her fight, the more she looks either fraudulent at worst or plain delusional at best.<\/p>\n
Both Kelli and Angela jump in, sharing their own experiences with losing money. I\u2019m hypocritical because Angela discussing her finances doesn\u2019t elicit the same eye rolls from me as when Kelli and Pinky do. Instead, the difference shows why Angela is a better fit for a long tenure with the franchise than the other two. Something about Angela is very genuine and secure; her financial woes don\u2019t come off as merely a storyline because they don\u2019t define her. Angela\u2019s self-assurance makes her a great Housewife, while Kelli and Pinky\u2019s insecurities and overcompensation are stunting what could be authentic moments.<\/p>\n
Kelli and Pinky\u2019s inability to prove themselves as worthy to play with the big dogs becomes more apparent when Cynthia doles out room assignments. The Airbnb is divided into a main property and two smaller quarters. The main house is fabulous with all the accouterments we\u2019re accustomed to on traditional cast trips. The other lodgings are more in the vein of the newer Housewives trips that miss the mark \u2014 think RHOP\u2019s Angel Massie\u2019s now infamous Colorado. Unlike the women on Potomac, the Atlanta ladies at least have running water; however, the disparity between the rooming options and the decision about who gets to stay where makes the statement we\u2019ve all been thinking.<\/p>\n
Basically, the women who\u2019ve earned their peaches (Drew, Porsha, K. Michelle, Angela, and Phaedra, who is grandfathered in) get to lie their heads on the pristine pillows of the main house, while those who are on probation (Pinky, Kelli, and Shamea) are hilariously banished to the outskirts. Cynthia drags out her explanation of why Pinky should take the tiny house and why discount Frick and Frack should take the other one by saying it\u2019s because they\u2019re the closest duo, though there\u2019s nothing she can say that will make them not feel a kind of way. To make matters worse, Kelli and Shamea\u2019s house is in desperate need of a deep clean with built-up residue on the toilets and sinks and stains on the bed. This is a key moment where production has a perfect scenario for some action, only for the probation peaches to miss the mark. Shamea, if you don\u2019t use that HVAC money to book a hotel or at least threaten to? Kelli, why does your big mouth only work when no one is watching? Would Gizelle Bryant sit in silence after seeing the mess in that sink? Hell, no, she\u2019s making a scene, and that\u2019s why she probably has a death pact in her contract with Bravo.<\/p>\n
We all know that these trips, and particularly the room assignments, serve as a humiliation ritual, giving the cast a chance to throw their weight around. Someone will always get the short end of the stick, but what\u2019s more important is how they react to the snubbing. A few acceptable options include taking it like a champ and embodying the \u201cplays well with others\u201d role. You could also be a martyr\u2026 in respect to the host, of course. Or you can make a scene and establish yourself as a reality diva. The probation peaches take the unacceptable, passive-aggressive route and leave their feelings for the confessionals, thus committing the number-one sin in my book: banality.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m easy to please; I accept all forms of entertainment, even if I find someone annoying or morally questionable. But being boring is where I draw the line. Instead of marching straight to Cynthia and complaining or trying to wiggle their way into the main house, Shamea and Kelli talk shit about Porsha and Phaedra behind their backs, saying they should be the ones in the pool house, and then refuse to come to dinner, proving exactly why they\u2019re on probation. K. Michelle also opts out of dinner because she doesn\u2019t have a glam team, which is a move that, if it were up to me, might land her on probation, too. It\u2019s the first night of the group trip, and half the cast isn\u2019t at the dinner table? Not a good look, ladies.<\/p>\n
I can understand not wanting to go film when everyone else has had a chance to freshen up, and you\u2019re in your funky travel clothes, but we still have a show to make here. Upon learning about the state of the accommodations, Cynthia tries to fix things by requesting a cleaning service, and Pinky graciously offers to bunk with someone on the main property. That\u2019s where any graciousness from Pinky ends because she comes to the table like a bull in a china shop, defending the outcasts and complaining on their behalf with a fervor they themselves didn\u2019t have for Cynthia.<\/p>\n
Pinky\u2019s energy at the table is incredibly spicy, with all her responses carrying an out-of-place attitude for the otherwise tame vibes. When Porsha opens the floor to the table to hash out their issues, Pinky grows increasingly irritable as she defends herself against the meat-eating accusations. Angela clocks Pinky\u2019s confrontational attitude, noting that Pinky \u201csits on ready\u201d when \u201cit\u2019s not that type of time,\u201d making her come across as bothered. Pinky proves Angela\u2019s point by saying she\u2019s not at all bothered by Angela specifically, and it would, in fact, be a \u201cjoke\u201d if she were. Next comes a slew of slick-mouthed comments from Pinky to Angela, including, \u201cThere is nothing on you from head to toe that I\u2019m bothered by!\u201d I know I said I wanted some action, but Pinky, this ain\u2019t it. Plus, she\u2019s barking up the wrong oak tree because Mrs. Enforcer knows how to clear the girls with ease.<\/p>\n
Angela saves some of the fumbles of the episode by stepping up to the plate to gather Pinky in her signature calm and collected style. She correctly assesses the situation as Pinky\u2019s insecurities leaping out, making her defensive to the most mundane comments. Pinky starts going lower, escalating the war of words by calling Angela a bitch. Angela coolly returns the favor, saying Pinky is a bitch who doesn\u2019t pay her bills, striking an obviously sensitive nerve with the entrepreneur. Angela retorts, \u201cI could throw a rock and hit ten people you owe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pinky, clearly out of her depth, tries to reply with an \u201cI\u2019m rich, bitch,\u201d monologue that falls flat because she\u2019s spent her entire time on the show talking about bankruptcy. Needing to change tactics, Pinky starts picking low-hanging fruit by going after Angela\u2019s appearance, which, of course, doesn\u2019t land either. It\u2019s distasteful, as she says things about Angela\u2019s wig and veneers, forcing Angela to roll in the mud with her, delivering another read by calling Pinky\u2019s teeth \u201cincestuous\u201d and referring to her as Mr. Clean and Papa Smurf. Things get so bad that Pinky is left with nothing to do but get up and leave, yet somehow she messes even that up and sits right back down to continue losing the read off. Despite already clearing Pinky, Angela goes in for the kill, exposing an alleged \u201clive-in wife\u201d at Pinky\u2019s house. Oh my!<\/p>\n
As quickly as the fight begins, it ends as both women say they love each other and don\u2019t want to fight. Angela is running circles around these girls! This is how a true Atlanta Housewife moves \u2014 she will read you up and down and, in the same breath, welcome you into the sisterhood. I hope we see her for many more seasons. As for Pinky, it might be time for a pink slip, but let\u2019s see how well the rest of the trip goes.<\/p>\n
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