{"id":62713,"date":"2025-08-06T13:45:14","date_gmt":"2025-08-06T13:45:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/62713\/"},"modified":"2025-08-06T13:45:14","modified_gmt":"2025-08-06T13:45:14","slug":"my-family-is-going-to-lose-their-minds-when-they-see-my-dramatic-transformation-uh-not-in-a-good-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/62713\/","title":{"rendered":"My family is going to lose their minds when they see my dramatic transformation. Uh, not in a good way."},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Prudence is Slate\u2019s advice column.\u00a0Submit questions here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Dear Prudence,<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had a very eventful year. At the beginning of 2025, my long-term relationship ended, and after a few months, I decided to move out of state.<\/p>\n

Just before moving, I started a GLP-1 weight loss drug, and I have successfully lost most of the pandemic weight I\u2019d been packing on (yay!). The problem is I\u2019m flying back to my hometown for a visit soon, and I\u2019m quite sure my visible weight loss will be an uncomfortable topic of conversation.<\/p>\n

My mom has suffered from undiagnosed eating disorders since I was a child, and my aunt, who I\u2019m very close to, is a bit of a fitness and health nut. My aunt has made negative comments about weight loss drugs, suggesting people should \u201cjust get off the couch and exercise.\u201d Because of the way my mom and aunt have always talked about fatness and weight loss, I very much do not want to talk to them about my body or disclose that I lost the weight via a GLP-1 drug. I\u2019m otherwise pretty open about my journey to friends who ask. I think it\u2019s helpful for people to know the drugs do work (at least for me!) and don\u2019t think everyone can lose weight via willpower alone, as I certainly couldn\u2019t. What do you think the best approach will be to talk about it as little as possible with my family? I\u2019m anticipating compliments and questions about how I lost the weight.<\/p>\n

\u2014I Was Pretty (and Fit!) When I Was Fat, Too<\/p>\n

Dear Pretty and Fit,<\/p>\n

You are feeling good about your body and health, and you\u2019re visiting people whom you love (even if you might not always like everything about them that much). This should be a good time. So it\u2019s really too bad that this upcoming visit is becoming a source of stress because of all of the baggage and judgment you\u2019re going to have to navigate. It\u2019s hard to have fun and difficult to connect with people when you\u2019re on edge. How can you relax when you\u2019re constantly bracing to hear a comment that will agitate you, chip away at your self-esteem, or take you right back to being a child, confused about why you\u2019re hearing adults obsess over their bodies and the bodies of strangers?<\/p>\n

I definitely understand that you want to avoid feeling that way. And if you really think the best way forward is to avoid any conversations about your body, you should warn your mom and aunt before you show up. They\u2019ve been obsessing out loud about weight for your entire life, so it\u2019s only fair to give them some time to adjust to the idea that their typical remarks will be unwelcome. Here\u2019s a text to send to the two of them: \u201cHi Mom and Aunt Barbara, I can\u2019t wait to see you! I wanted to give you a heads up that when you see me, you\u2019re probably going to notice that I\u2019ve lost a few pounds. I know we\u2019ve always talked about weight a lot, but lately, having a lot of attention on the way my body has changed has made me uncomfortable, so I\u2019d rather not discuss it at all. I thought I\u2019d let you know before I arrived. Thanks for understanding, and of course, we\u2019ll have a lot of other things to catch up on!\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n Ilyce Glink
\n I\u2019m Finally Leaving My Wife. Unfortunately, She Controlled All of Our Money.
\n Read More\n <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

But I have to say, banning discussion of your weight loss might shine even more of a spotlight on the change. Putting the topic in a category all to itself sort of elevates it to something with special importance. It gives it a lot of energy. And you\u2019re still going to be acutely aware of what they\u2019re noticing, what they\u2019re thinking, and what they\u2019re talking about when you leave. So I wonder if you\u2019d be willing to engage in a brief exchange in which you take control of the narrative instead, responding to any remarks and pointedly\u2014 but still breezily and briefly\u2014setting a new tone. Using this approach could go something like this:<\/p>\n

Mom: Wow, you\u2019ve lost weight!
You: I have.
Mom: You look great! I\u2019m so happy for you! I need to lose more, too. I\u2019m on this new diet where you just eat between the hours of\u2014
You: Thanks, I do feel good in my body now, but I also felt good before, and I know my weight could always change again, so I\u2019m trying not to obsess over it. It just feels sad to think about diets and food all the time. Anyway! Something more exciting that\u2019s going on in my life right now is\u2026<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Help! I\u2019m Still Haunted By What My Mom and Sister Did to Me on Our Vacation.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My Boss Gave Me a Snarky Piece of Feedback. Then He Didn\u2019t Like My Response.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I Quit Drinking. It\u2019s Great. There\u2019s Just One Small Problem.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I Agreed to Take in My Sister\u2019s Dog for a Few Weeks. What a Mistake.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

Aunt: Wow, you\u2019ve lost weight. You didn\u2019t do it the lazy way, did you?
You: I have to be honest, I was worried about having this conversation before coming here. It\u2019s a personal topic that carries a lot of emotional weight for me after growing up in this family, and I don\u2019t really feel like getting into it. How is your watercolor class going?<\/p>\n

Or<\/p>\n

Aunt: Wow, you\u2019ve lost weight. You didn\u2019t do it the lazy way, did you?
You: I actually did take GLP-1s. I know you don\u2019t approve and I don\u2019t want to have a conversation that\u2019s going to hurt my feelings. So for the sake of our relationship and having a good time, let\u2019s set the topic aside.<\/p>\n

Or<\/p>\n

Aunt: Wow, you\u2019ve lost weight. You didn\u2019t do it the lazy way, did you?
You: Please tell me you\u2019ve set aside a ticket for me.
Aunt: \u2026
You: For the ceremony!
Aunt: \u2026
You: The one where you\u2019ll be honored and receive a big check for losing weight without GLP-1s.
Aunt: What?
You: Oh, wait, are you saying nobody will be giving you a lifetime achievement award for losing weight without modern medicine? That\u2019s too bad for you because I know it\u2019s a huge point of pride. But I hope doing it your way made you happy.<\/p>\n

Classic Prudie<\/p>\n

I rent half of a duplex where the garages are in the back with a shared driveway. I also have the shaded side yard. Recently, a young family moved into the other unit and continues to make my life hell. The kids leave their toys and scooters right in the middle of the driveway so when I have to go to work, I have to get out of my car to move all their stuff. The kids will play in my side yard screaming bloody murder and messing with my plants and patio furniture. They have already broken two expensive pots\u2026<\/a><\/p>\n

Get advice on manners and morals in your inbox three times a week.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dear Prudence is Slate\u2019s advice column.\u00a0Submit questions here. Dear Prudence, I\u2019ve had a very eventful year. At the…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":62714,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[3005,11463,97,37512,6843],"class_list":{"0":"post-62713","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-dear-prudence","10":"tag-health","11":"tag-single-q","12":"tag-slate-plus"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62713","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=62713"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62713\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/62714"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=62713"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=62713"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=62713"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}