{"id":685981,"date":"2026-06-05T13:00:07","date_gmt":"2026-06-05T13:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/685981\/"},"modified":"2026-06-05T13:00:07","modified_gmt":"2026-06-05T13:00:07","slug":"marriage-advice-we-devised-a-friendly-way-to-keep-our-neighbor-out-of-our-lawn-hes-furious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/685981\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage advice: We devised a “friendly” way to keep our neighbor out of our lawn. He’s furious."},"content":{"rendered":"

Each week, Prudence\u00a0asks readers for their thoughts<\/a>\u00a0on the letters she\u2019s received. Her reply will be available every Friday.<\/p>\n

Hey Prudie,<\/p>\n

I\u2019m Pick Me Dammit<\/a> writing with an update: First, to clarify for commenters, I own the house, and we aren\u2019t married. He is freakishly conflict-averse. And he\u2019s retired\/disabled, so he\u2019s home in the neighborhood all day, whereas I\u2019m at work and rarely speak to the neighbors.<\/p>\n

We cooled off for a couple of days and talked again. We agreed to try a less expensive, less permanent solution for the driving-challenged neighbor and put up some bright yellow, inexpensive A-frame signs. They say \u201cNo Entry,\u201d which I thought was friendlier than \u201cNo Trespassing.\u201d They should help her see where to stop, and can be moved to mow. My guy agreed that if this didn\u2019t work, we\u2019d get some boulders.<\/p>\n

Yesterday, the neighbor came over FURIOUS because he just noticed the signs. My guy explained it\u2019s \u201cour\u201d property, and we decided to help his guest avoid damaging our property again. Neighbor says he\u2019s going to put up a six-foot fence between us. This is ridiculous because it\u2019s against code, and he wouldn\u2019t be able to access the gate to his own backyard. We are hoping the neighbor was drunk and will forget the fence idea. But if not, my guy and I have agreed that if it comes up again, we will handle it together. And he actually said I was right out loud.<\/p>\n

\u2014Picked<\/p>\n

What a great update!! I mean, not the part about the potentially drunk and totally irrational neighbor, but the part about you and your partner coming to an agreement. I love to hear it.<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

Hey Prudie,\u00a0<\/p>\n

I partially disagree with your answer to Sad Mom<\/a>. This does not mean her marriage is on the rocks. I think she needs to learn her \u201chusband speak.\u201d We all process things differently.<\/p>\n

Her husband tried to feed and dress the kids and get them out the door when they weren\u2019t used to him getting them ready. I can only imagine the chaos and why the flowers weren\u2019t in a vase yet. She should have made it her day the way she asked and not taken it upon herself to empty the dishwasher, clean, do laundry, shop, or make dinner if she hadn\u2019t wanted to.<\/p>\n

A simple, \u201cHoney, can you throw some laundry in? Honey, could you empty the dishwasher?\u201d No reservations? Then his making grilled cheese, hamburgers, hot dogs, or something at home could have worked. Instead, it sounds like she took everything upon herself in a huff because she was woken by a screaming kid, didn\u2019t have her own separate breakfast, and then chose to do chores that didn\u2019t need to be done that day instead of directly telling hubby or just letting them go for a day.<\/p>\n

Frankly, I would have gone the direct hubby route. He is right in that she should have been explicit. He did screw up on the gift card, but all the hints for different things she wanted instead of saying I want this (brand, type of product, size, scent) could have made it difficult for him to figure out exactly what to get (that\u2019s what too many choices does to me). Now they\u2019re both disappointed: her because he didn\u2019t meet her expectations and decided to do the chores herself, and him because she told him she was disappointed even though he started the day trying to do what she wanted. Some guys aren\u2019t good at hints.<\/p>\n

Next time tell him I want \u201cthis\u201d as my gift (not a bunch of vague item to pick from) or go put things in your favorite shop\u2019s webcart and tell him to pick one or two (bonus is you get something you like but it\u2019s still a surprise) and tell him to make reservations for \u201cthere\u201d (or make them yourself for a place you have always wanted to eat at). Plus make it his responsibility to get the kids ready at least one weekend day all the time so HE learns how to wrangle two toddlers. Could he have done more? Sure, but she could have done less.<\/p>\n

\u2014Been There\/Seen That<\/p>\n

Hello, is this the husband from the letter? You skipped the part about how she did give him fairly explicit instructions, and the part about how he yelled at her! I\u2019ll excuse the flowers not being in a vase, but nothing else.<\/p>\n

Hey Prudie,<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Help! My Husband Just Seriously Violated Me in Front of Our Children. He Doesn\u2019t Think He\u2019s Done Anything Wrong.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n


\n This Content is Available for Slate Plus members only<\/p>\n

I Just Discovered the Truth About the Beginnings of My Relationship. I\u2019m Devastated.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My Son Is Very Bright. What His Teacher Has Him Doing With the Dumb Kids Is Outrageous.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

Re Frustrated Sister-in-Law<\/a>: You told the writer that she needs help from her husband, but while the writer mentions her mother-in-law lives with her, she doesn\u2019t mention where her husband is in all this. Maybe he\u2019s not helping her as he should be, or maybe there\u2019s a reason he\u2019s not around. I\u2019d assume that if the writer needs to send her mother-in-law to see her son, there\u2019s a reason why she needs her brother-in-law to step up and why her husband can\u2019t take that on.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m just wondering if there\u2019s advice for her that includes the possibility that her husband is not there. It would be upsetting if she were stepping up to care for her mother-in-law with dementia, without the help of her husband (for whatever reason), and her medically trained brother-in-law refuses to follow medical instructions for his mother. And even if the husband is there\u2014I mean, come on, she\u2019s brother-in-law\u2019s mother too! Why does BIL need handholding to follow directions?<\/p>\n

\u2014Another Way to Look At It<\/p>\n

It is true that it didn\u2019t occur to me that someone would live with their mother-in-law while the mother-in-law\u2019s child was \u201cnot around.\u201d But this would be a really unusual arrangement, or involve a tragedy, and I assume it would have been mentioned. When it comes to the brother-in-law, I also wish that he didn\u2019t need hand-holding to follow directions, but the evidence suggests that he does. Refusing to provide them because of his incompetence would only hurt the mother-in-law.<\/p>\n

Hey Prudie,<\/p>\n

Re Dingbat Done<\/a>: I totally realize this is about more than just boozy dessert. If we\u2019re talking about a rum-soaked chocolate cake, why can\u2019t the hubby make two cakes? Make one and keep that one booze free and the other boozy, and frost the ones that aren\u2019t boozy or something. Or just make a special dessert for the kids and only the kids.<\/p>\n

Again, I realize this is more about dessert, so the dessert solution seems easy to deal with.<\/p>\n

\u2014Dessert Is the Easy Part<\/p>\n

This would be too easy!\u00a0<\/p>\n

But really, I think the husband feels put-upon, and they both resent the sister\u2019s demands and really don\u2019t want to accommodate her, even if it just means doubling a recipe.<\/p>\n

Classic Prudie<\/p>\n

Today is my brother\u2019s birthday. About a year ago, I cheated on my girlfriend and confided in him. My girlfriend has since forgiven me, and we\u2019ve worked hard to move on and leave the past behind us, but she found out that my brother knew about my infidelity and has carried a hateful resentment ever since. She believes if he had any honor or respect for women then he would have ratted me out or at least tried harder to stop me.<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Each week, Prudence\u00a0asks readers for their thoughts\u00a0on the letters she\u2019s received. Her reply will be available every Friday.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":685982,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[3005,11463,13655,6843,74],"class_list":["post-685981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-technology","tag-advice","tag-dear-prudence","tag-marriage","tag-slate-plus","tag-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=685981"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685981\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/685982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=685981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=685981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=685981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}