{"id":699290,"date":"2026-06-12T07:32:15","date_gmt":"2026-06-12T07:32:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/699290\/"},"modified":"2026-06-12T07:32:15","modified_gmt":"2026-06-12T07:32:15","slug":"death-cabs-ben-gibbard-on-divorce-nepo-baby-ceos-and-fame-in-the-noughties-there-were-some-scary-people-around","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/699290\/","title":{"rendered":"Death Cab\u2019s Ben Gibbard on divorce, \u2018nepo baby\u2019 CEOs, and fame in the Noughties: \u2018There were some scary people around\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

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If anyone can write a great breakup album, it\u2019s Ben Gibbard. For almost 30 years, the Death Cab for Cutie<\/a> frontman has channelled misery into such emotionally ruinous songs as 2003\u2019s \u201cTiny Vessels\u201d, with its cool and cruel detached lover, to \u201cThe Sound of Settling\u201d, a lesson in unending, unrequited pining. <\/p>\n

Today, though, Gibbard is reluctant to call the band\u2019s new project a \u201cdivorce record\u201d, despite the fact that, yes, it was written in the aftermath of his marriage ending. \u201cOftentimes those records are someone saying, \u2018I\u2019m going to bring this into the court of public opinion and tell my one-sided story about how this went down,\u2019\u201d he says. \u201cYou know the phrase, only a fool goes to court thinking the jury are bound to see it their way?\u201d<\/p>\n

Gibbard is the first to admit he\u2019s played the fool before. \u201cI\u2019ve certainly taken that tactic before, when I was younger,\u201d he says, citing 2015\u2019s Kintsugi, written in the wake of his split from actor and musician Zooey Deschanel<\/a> \u2013 to whom he was married for three years \u2013 as the most obvious example. \u201cI\u2019ve long since realised that painting yourself as the aggrieved narrator… well, there is a time and place for that, but at a certain moment in life, you\u2019ve got to grow out of it.\u201d Anyway, he adds wryly, \u201cDoes anyone really think the biggest pop star in the world is always the innocent bystander in their own life? I don\u2019t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nearing 50, Gibbard has grown out of it and then some. Released last week, the band\u2019s 11th album, I Built You a Tower, opens with mellow, melancholic guitar and the line: \u201cPlease forgive me.\u201d It\u2019s as much a plea to himself as it is to the person he\u2019s speaking to. Later, on the jittery \u201cPunching the Flowers\u201d, Gibbard sings of words \u201csharpened like axes\u201d that a man swings around \u201cblindly\u201d. Lyrically, Gibbard appears ready to look inward, to hold his hands up and own his mistakes. It\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me, he seems to be saying. Or at the very least, it\u2019s both of us. <\/p>\n

\"DeathDeath Cab for Cutie have released their 11th album, \u2018I Built You a Tower\u2019 (Provided by label)<\/p>\n

The songs are no less potent for their maturity; age has given them a hard-won patina. Even after they aged out of it, Death Cab have always tuned into that high frequency of youth, when everything is either the end or the beginning of the world. The confessional lyricism and assured sound of their Grammy-nominated fifth studio album Plans, released in 2005, proved to be their breakthrough from the Pacific Northwest music scene. It was also the first record they released on a major label (Atlantic), and the first time they\u2019d recorded outside of their hometown. <\/p>\n

\u201cI felt less comfortable in my own skin in the world,\u201d Gibbard says of their cultural \u201cpeak\u201d, a time when their music was inescapable thanks to relentless syncing by hit shows such as The OC, Grey\u2019s Anatomy, and One Tree Hill. \u201cTrying to go about my life the way I\u2019d gone about it before, I felt that more people were staring at me in places I was not used to being stared at. It\u2019s kind of a headf*** when you feel like your presence is a topic of conversation whereas before nobody gave a s***.\u201d Increasingly, celebrity felt like anathema to Gibbard, both living his life, and later, making music. <\/p>\n

Those feelings were amplified when he began dating Deschanel. Pre-New Girl but post-500 Days of Summer, she was considerably more famous than Gibbard, who had to adapt. <\/p>\n

\"GibbardGibbard with Zooey Deschanel in 2009 (Getty)<\/p>\n

\u201cWithout going into detail, there were some scary people around, and that changed how I had to live my life,\u201d he says. \u201cI felt like I was living my life in public like a Secret Service agent.\u201d When they went out on dates, Gibbard would locate the exits by second nature; he and Deschanel had code words for emergencies. <\/p>\n

That feeling of being surveilled 24\/7 invariably had an impact on Gibbard\u2019s songwriting: \u201cWhen you\u2019re with someone who\u2019s recognisable, you start taking on some of that reticence as well. I found myself deferring to her level of reticence because, well, it was different for her than it was for me. I think I retreated as a writer as a result of that.\u201d <\/p>\n

We\u2019re speaking over a video call, but Gibbard\u2019s screen is dark. \u201cI\u2019m a pacer when I talk,\u201d he explains, and I get the sense that he is more open because of it. The absence of video, though, does mean I have to rely on recent photographs to know that he is no longer sporting that age-old emo signifier: the side fringe. Instead, the hairs sweep up, optimistic and hopeful. <\/p>\n

Without going into detail, there were some scary people around, and that changed how I had to live my life<\/p>\n

As we get older, we find new ways of coping. I Built You a Tower refers to Gibbard\u2019s penchant for compartmentalisation, a process in which he assigns the memories and people in his life \u2013 whether wonderful or painful \u2013 a place in his psychological skyline. Death Cab, for example, looms large on the horizon, like a skyscraper. The tower was erected after his last marriage: \u201cBut sometimes the memories, the people, find their way out of the structures. You hear a song, or smell something, and all of a sudden you\u2019re back in that time of your life,\u201d he says. The album\u2019s title track explores exactly this: \u201c\u2019Cause I needed you\/ I needed you contained.\u201d <\/p>\n

But nothing stays contained for ever. His second divorce, from tour manager and photographer Rachel Demy, spilled over into a 2023 anniversary tour for both Death Cab and Gibbard\u2019s other longtime band, Postal Service. In some ways, performing became a salve, he says. \u201cTo be back in my 26-year-old self, so to speak, for two hours a night, and play these songs from a very different time in my life…\u201d Other times, the clashing of his two lives felt disorientating: \u201cOne moment you\u2019re emailing with a lawyer, dealing with the ugly elements of divorce \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t recommend it, of course \u2013 and then, all of a sudden, it\u2019s time to go on stage.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n

It helped that everyone \u2013 from his bandmates to the crew \u2013 knew what was going on. \u201cEveryone understood the pressure that was on me,\u201d he says. \u201cThe timing of it was not ideal, but at the same time, there really couldn\u2019t have been a better group of people to be around.\u201d <\/p>\n

In truth, playing anniversary shows is weird even without the divorce element, says Gibbard. Coming face-to-face with your 20-year-old self isn\u2019t always flattering. But it can also be funny. \u201cI\u2019ll be listening to songs on the first record about some girl I dated for two months, and it\u2019ll be like, \u2018Oh my God! I can\u2019t believe this happened!\u2019 and then you get older and it\u2019s like, yeah, s*** happens. Life is a series of s*** happening. That\u2019s how life works.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"Gibbard:Gibbard: \u2018The girl I wrote \u201cTiny Vessels\u201d about… We laugh about it now\u2019 (Getty)<\/p>\n

Gibbard sees the gulf between himself now and himself back then as a sign of emotional growth, reassurance that he isn\u2019t the same mercenary lover who whined \u201cyou are beautiful but you don\u2019t mean a thing to me\u201d on \u201cTiny Vessels\u201d more than 20 years ago. \u201cThe girl I wrote that song about… We laugh about it now,\u201d he says. \u201c I just think, \u2018Oh my God. I was really being such a little b**** about this.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

On I Built You a Tower, he\u2019s as candid as he was when the band first started. It\u2019s their first release since going independent again \u2013 the original plan was one more album with Atlantic, until a personnel change prompted them to leave. \u201cIt was like an episode of Succession,\u201d says Gibbard, recalling how former CEO Julie Greenwald left in 2024. \u201cThis nepo baby [Elliot Grainge, son of Universal Music Group CEO Lucian Grange] was given the label,\u201d he says critically. \u201cWe took one look at this guy\u2019s picture and we were like, \u2018This guy didn\u2019t have a Transatlanticism phase in college. This guy didn\u2019t rock with Plans. I think we can safely say that this isn\u2019t our guy.\u201d And so they left. <\/p>\n

At Anti, Death Cab are in good company with fellow artists MJ Lenderman, Waxahatchee, Fleet Foxes, Slow Pulp, The Beths. \u201cI mean, f***ing Tom Waits,\u201d continues Gibbard. \u201cIt felt like the perfect place for us. We\u2019re not being put out to pasture on a retirement label.\u201d <\/p>\n

He has no interest in giving in to the pull of Noughties nostalgia; beyond the lyrical evolutions, I Built You a Tower is expansive and diverse in sound, too. That said, he knows what it means to fans to hear their old stuff live, because he is a fan first and foremost himself. \u201cWhat\u2019s the point of playing a show if you\u2019re not going to honour the connection that people have with that music?\u201d he asks. It\u2019s further evidence of how Gibbard has matured. He cares how the other side feels.<\/p>\n

\u2018I Built You a Tower\u2019 is out now via Anti<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Your support helps us to tell the story From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":699291,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[88,216],"class_list":["post-699290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-music","tag-entertainment","tag-music"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=699290"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699290\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/699291"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=699290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=699290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=699290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}