Esther Perel\u00a0has spent her\u00a0career exploring the complexities of human relationships. Her seminal book,\u00a0Mating in Captivity,\u00a0examined the tension between\u00a0love and\u00a0desire.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Now,\u00a0the\u00a0psychotherapist is shifting her attention to\u00a0the workplace, where AI, hybrid working, and\u00a0declining engagement\u00a0are reshaping how colleagues connect.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Europe has the lowest employee engagement of any region in the world\u00a0at 12%, according to Gallup\u2019s 2026\u00a0State of the Global Workplace\u00a0report.\u00a0This compares with\u00a0the\u00a0global average of 20% that is itself at its lowest point since 2020.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Perel\u00a0believes this\u00a0is\u00a0a symptom of\u00a0the\u00a0slow, invisible erosion of\u00a0everyday\u00a0human contact that used to hold organizations together.\u00a0This is\u00a0social\u00a0atrophy\u00a0and\u00a0Perel\u00a0says most leaders\u00a0don\u2019t\u00a0yet have a plan for it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI think what\u2019s happening in our personal lives is mirrored in the workplace,\u201d Perel tells\u00a0Fortune. \u201cWe expect something different from a business leader than from a parent or a partner, but the underlying shift is the same: there is a general state of social atrophy creeping up on us\u00a0and we don\u2019t even notice it. There\u2019s a pervasive sense that we\u2019re living through a period of crisis rather than a period of abundance.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
Social atrophy\u00a0in the\u00a0workplace\u00a0<\/p>\n
There are several factors contributing to this\u00a0disconnect, according to Perel.\u00a0Remote and hybrid work is reducing the physical proximity that scaffolds\u00a0professional\u00a0relationships,\u00a0while distributed global\u00a0teams are making it more difficult for colleagues to build rapport.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Blurred Zoom backgrounds\u00a0are a\u00a0particular bug bear for Perel.\u00a0\u201cIn the early days of video calls, people were unintentionally visible in each other\u2019s homes, which paradoxically created more intimacy than the polished, decontextualized version we have now,\u201d\u00a0she\u00a0says. \u201cYou go on Zoom, nobody says hello,\u00a0everyone\u2019s\u00a0pretending to do something else while they\u00a0wait\u00a0so it\u00a0doesn\u2019t\u00a0look like\u00a0they\u2019re\u00a0just sitting there. Then you launch straight into \u2018what\u2019s on the agenda today.\u2019 The moment the task ends, the meeting\u00a0ends.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
This\u00a0pattern\u00a0is unsustainable. \u201cYou can only handle difficult\u00a0and important\u00a0conversations\u00a0as a leader\u00a0if you\u2019ve built up a foundation of small, insignificant ones first,\u201d she says.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Exacerbating this is a climate of economic anxiety. Rather than exploring new roles, employees are staying put out of fear, \u201cjob hugging instead of job hopping,\u201d\u00a0Perel\u00a0says, which flattens the social risk-taking that once came with switching jobs, meeting new teams, and\u00a0building a professional network.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThe capacity to connect with people, sit through awkward small talk, or simply show up in person is a muscle that\u00a0needs to\u00a0be practiced, otherwise it weakens,\u201d Perel says. \u201cWe\u2019re oriented around comfort, ease, and frictionless living\u2014everything from food delivery to AI assistants\u00a0are\u00a0designed to remove friction.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Without smaller inconveniences, people are less prepared to handle the larger challenges that inevitably arise in the workplace.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Leadership must respond\u2014and AI\u00a0isn\u2019t\u00a0the fix\u00a0<\/p>\n
Perel calls on bosses to stop\u00a0turning a blind eye to\u00a0these challenges and become part of the change. Leaning further into automation and technology efficiencies, she warns,\u00a0may not be the answer.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI think AI is absorbing\u00a0time\u00a0that\u00a0used to\u00a0be spent with other people.\u00a0Asking a chatbot a quick question instead of asking a colleague doesn\u2019t just remove that one\u00a0interaction,\u00a0it removes all the important conversations that follow.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
Three in 10 employees say they have\u00a0less patience for small talk,\u00a0more difficulty reading colleagues\u2019 emotional tone,\u00a0higher\u00a0anxiety\u00a0over\u00a0spontaneous phone calls, or a decline in their ability to resolve conflict without digital mediation, since AI was introduced in their workplace,\u00a0Workday\u2019s\u00a0The Human Connection Workplace Index<\/a>\u00a0found.\u00a0<\/p>\n Increased adoption of AI has also\u00a0been used to justify sizable layoffs at companies\u00a0including\u00a0Oracle<\/a>,\u00a0Amazon<\/a>, and BT<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Perel claims that many companies seem \u201cthrilled\u201d to be able to make cuts.\u00a0\u201cI was at a major business conference recently where everyone kept talking about reducing hiring for entry-level roles\u00a0and all the\u00a0ways\u00a0AI was reshaping headcount,\u201d she says.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n However,\u00a0when\u00a0Perel encouraged the conference\u00a0attendees to\u00a0stop referring to Gen Z\u00a0and instead say \u2018our children\u2019,\u00a0attitudes started to shift.\u00a0\u201cNow you feel it in your gut, because\u00a0it\u2019s\u00a0the kid living at home who\u00a0hasn\u2019t\u00a0been able to go outside. We have not begun to reckon with what the pandemic did to young people.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n The routine tasks that are now being automated by AI were once effective ways for entry-level workers to hone their skills and begin forming workplace relationships. By\u00a0eliminating\u00a0these roles, companies also risk removing traditional paths into professions.\u00a0Left unaddressed,\u00a0this could lead to a severe talent\u00a0pipeline gap, Perel warns.\u00a0<\/p>\n Contain\u00a0the anxiety. Drop the \u2018family\u2019 talk.\u00a0<\/p>\n