Why might someone use an AI chatbot while in a relationship?<\/p>\n
Jaime Bronstein<\/a> is a licensed clinical social worker and the resident relationship expert at Joi AI<\/a>, an app that offers users AI companions ranging from virtual girlfriends to chatbot versions inspired by celebrities. The company bills itself as \u201cthe enemy of dating apps,\u201d positioning AI companionship as an alternative to traditional dating.<\/p>\n Bronstein feels the appeal isn\u2019t always about replacing a partner, but rather filling the inevitable gaps that exist in any relationship.<\/p>\n \u201cWith an AI companion, there\u2019s a better sense of freedom to think out loud, vent about a bad day or rehearse a hard conversation before you have it for real, without dumping everything on a human partner who has limits,\u201d Bronstein told HuffPost. \u201cIt can help people whose partners work late at night or live far away and aren\u2019t as available to chat. It can be helpful to bridge the gap that our human relationships inevitably create.\u201d<\/p>\n At a time when loneliness remains widespread, it\u2019s easy to see why some people find comfort in an always-available companion that never gets tired, distracted or busy.<\/p>\n Amy Sutton, a relationship and trauma therapist at Freedom Counselling in the U.K., agrees there\u2019s a place for AI companions, but says it\u2019s important to understand what they\u2019re replacing.<\/p>\n \u201cNo one partner can meet every need we have, and when we expect them to, we can become disappointed and frustrated,\u201d Sutton told HuffPost. \u201cWe get different things from friends, family and our wider community. Now some people are getting a slice of that from AI, too.\u201d<\/p>\n The bigger question, she said, is why someone is turning to an AI companion in the first place: \u201cIt\u2019s worth asking yourself what\u2019s underneath your use of these apps. Novelty? Validation? Somewhere to think out loud? Is that something you could get from real-life relationships? Are you missing out on growing closer to your partner by turning to AI for these needs?\u201d<\/p>\n She also recommends paying attention to the moments you reach for AI.<\/p>\n \u201cIs it after a [conflict] with your partner? When you\u2019re lonely, bored or upset? If it\u2019s becoming the place you go to soothe uncomfortable feelings rather than process them, notice that and consider how you could work with those emotions. If you just jump to AI for reassurance, it can end up papering over things that actually need working through with your partner.\u201d<\/p>\n For John, 37, who lives four hours away from his girlfriend and sees her around once a month, an AI companion became a way to fill the space between visits.<\/p>\n Others are using AI to explore parts of themselves they don\u2019t yet feel comfortable sharing with another person. According to Joi AI\u2019s research, 61% of users say it\u2019s easier to express sexual desire with AI than with another person, while 60% say AI has helped them discover sexual interests they didn\u2019t know they had.<\/p>\n That was the case for Michael, 31. \u201cThrough porn, I realized I was interested in degradation and women dominating men,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t want to ask my girlfriend because I\u2019m worried she\u2019d judge me, so I explore that with an app that knows my interests. I\u2019m embarrassed to admit it to anyone in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n Is this considered cheating and how can couples best set boundaries around it?<\/p>\n As with most relationship questions, there isn\u2019t a universal answer. It comes down to the expectations and boundaries each couple has established, something Sutton said many partners never explicitly discuss.<\/p>\n \u201cIt depends on the boundaries a couple has actually set, not what has been assumed,\u201d Sutton said. \u201cTwo people need to agree what flirting means to them and what\u2019s acceptable within it, and that varies wildly between couples. Non-monogamous couples tend to have this conversation explicitly. Monogamous couples often skip it, assuming they\u2019re already aligned. AI or not, the question is whether both partners understand and agree where the line sits in their relationship. If one partner would feel betrayed and the other hasn\u2019t checked that, it\u2019s likely to land as a breach of trust, whatever word you want to put on it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c<\/p>\n No one partner can meet every need we have, and when we expect them to, we can become disappointed and frustrated. We get different things from friends, family and our wider community. Now some people are getting a slice of that from AI, too.<\/p>\n – Amy Sutton, relationship and trauma therapist<\/p>\n Whether you see AI companions as harmless, helpful or a step too far, one thing is becoming increasingly clear: They deserve a place in the relationship boundaries conversation alongside flirting, porn, exes and social media. So, how should couples approach this tricky topic?<\/p>\n \u201cStart with the boundary conversation you should be having anyway, then bring AI into it,\u201d Sutton advised. \u201cWhat does monogamy or non-monogamy actually mean to each of you? How do you each define flirting, emotional intimacy and secrecy? What\u2019s acceptable, what isn\u2019t and why?\u201d<\/p>\n She also encourages couples to frequently revisit those conversations: \u201cKeep checking in with each other, because boundaries that worked a year ago might not fit now, especially with technology moving this fast.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"Experts](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/6a6b70111b00001792939b7a.jpeg\")
Experts say couples should get at the root of why they might want to use AI.<\/p>\n