{"id":807566,"date":"2026-08-09T04:56:14","date_gmt":"2026-08-09T04:56:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/807566\/"},"modified":"2026-08-09T04:56:14","modified_gmt":"2026-08-09T04:56:14","slug":"my-daughter-loves-pigeons-my-wife-wants-to-keep-us-away-from-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/807566\/","title":{"rendered":"My Daughter Loves Pigeons. My Wife Wants to Keep Us Away From Them."},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a newsletter bonus question. Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Dear Care and Feeding,<\/p>\n

My wife \u201cLillian\u201d and I live in a major metro area and have two kids, \u201cCarter,\u201d 1, and \u201cEmerald,\u201d 4.\u00a0There are lots of pigeons around, and Emerald has always been fascinated by them.\u00a0We feed them in the park regularly, and last week Emerald was delighted to get some to perch on her hands.\u00a0However, when my wife saw the video on my phone, she was not delighted.<\/p>\n

She reamed me out for supposedly putting our daughter in \u201cdanger\u201d from diseases and now wants to ban us from feeding the pigeons entirely!\u00a0I had Emerald use some hand sanitizer when she was finished, so I don\u2019t see what the big deal is.\u00a0My wife is being completely irrational, right?<\/p>\n

\u2014Bye-Bye Birdie<\/p>\n

Dear Birdie,<\/p>\n


\n This Content is Available for Slate Plus members only<\/p>\n

My Sister Just Revealed What She\u2019s Really Been Up to With an Older Cousin. Our Family Wants Me to Keep an \u201cOpen Mind.\u201d
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

When I was first read your letter, I was horrified to think of pigeons perched on your daughter\u2019s hands and thought you were the irrational one. However, I\u2019ve since been schooled by a great many pigeon enthusiasts <\/a>who, like your daughter, take great joy in these birds, and I\u2019ve come around on my pigeon prejudice. Yes, they can transmit disease, but it seems that the danger is largely from dust particles from scraping up dried pigeon poop<\/a>, not touching the birds themselves. (Though hand-washing after handling them is essential.) In NYC, at least, feeding pigeons isn\u2019t illegal, but it isn\u2019t encouraged, mostly because the leftover feed attracts rats. (\u201cFeed a pigeon, feed a rat,\u201d<\/a> says one city slogan.) Given all that, I do think \u201callowing my daughter to feed and hold pigeons\u201d and \u201cforbidding my daughter from feeding and holding pigeons\u201d are both reasonable approaches to the pigeon question. But! Since your daughter loves pigeons, I think it\u2019s worth trying to convince your wife to get over her own pigeon prejudice and get on team OK to feed and\/or hold pigeons. Perhaps you can do you own pigeon research<\/a> and present your wife with a plan that will be good for Emerald, the pigeons, and your marriage.<\/p>\n

\u2014Logan<\/p>\n

More Parenting Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

I am unsure how to move forward in my relationship with my mother-in-law. She has not spoken to me or my husband, or inquired about our 10-month-old daughter, in five weeks. The reason is not a mystery: Last year, she decided she wanted a weeklong beach vacation this summer at the shore, three hours away from where we live. She expected my family, as well as my brother-in-law\u2019s family, to join her, without much coordination or discussion.<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This is a newsletter bonus question. Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":807567,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[3005,3006,97,8284,203309],"class_list":["post-807566","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-health","tag-advice","tag-family","tag-health","tag-kids","tag-newsletter-exclusive"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/807566","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=807566"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/807566\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/807567"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=807566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=807566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=807566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}