I decided to be at peace with it and leaned in. No giant repair bills<\/a>, no being house poor, no weeding a garden on weekends, no problem.<\/p>\n Then, I fell head over heels in love with a homeowner.<\/p>\n A year after we met, I moved in with her and her roommate \u2014 and along with that came my insecurities and fears about finances.<\/p>\n I was nervous to either contribute too much or too little to a home I didn’t own<\/p>\n I was excited to move in with my partner, but I also had a lot of fears.\u00a0<\/p>\n Heather Leith<\/p>\n As we planned our move-in, a few parallel fears surfaced for me.<\/p>\n I wanted to contribute equally to our home expenses<\/a> so that I didn’t just feel like a renter, but I didn’t want to overstep and assume I was now a part of this investment she had already poured five years into.<\/p>\n I was also afraid of what would happen if we shared big-ticket expenses like remodeling and then eventually broke up.<\/p>\n Not to mention, this was my first time moving in with a partner<\/a>. So much felt foreign to me, but I felt safe enough in our relationship to initiate a conversation.<\/p>\n Talking about all of these topics felt scary. I didn’t have a playbook for this \u2014 what was normal for couples like us? Where was the line between being responsible and being selfish? Would I jinx our relationship by bringing up a possible ending?<\/p>\n I brought it up a few weeks before our planned move-in date. I went with: “Can we check in about what you’re picturing for finances when I move in?”<\/p>\n The conversation turned out to be very freeing for both of us. It turns out that she had nerves of her own about asking too much of me financially.<\/p>\n Speaking our fears out loud gave us the chance to ease each other’s worries and make a plan<\/p>\n Although my partner makes more than I do, we decided to divide the mortgage and utilities evenly. I’m paying less than I did when I rented, especially because our roommate pays one-third of the total sum.<\/p>\n At first, my partner insisted she’d handle the utilities on her own, since she’d be paying those bills either way. She hadn’t been charging our roommate for the utilities before, and felt fine keeping it that way.<\/p>\n I convinced her to let me contribute to those costs, though. In the end, the three of us decided to split rent<\/a>, gas, water, electricity, and WiFi.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n