{"id":820881,"date":"2026-08-21T10:18:17","date_gmt":"2026-08-21T10:18:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/820881\/"},"modified":"2026-08-21T10:18:17","modified_gmt":"2026-08-21T10:18:17","slug":"i-found-my-nephews-doing-something-inappropriate-their-excuse-was-even-more-upsetting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/820881\/","title":{"rendered":"I Found My Nephews Doing Something Inappropriate. Their Excuse Was Even More Upsetting."},"content":{"rendered":"

Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Dear Care and Feeding, <\/p>\n

This past week, I stayed at my brother \u201cDave\u2019s\u201d place while I was in town for a work convention for a few days.\u00a0Dave is divorced and has two boys, \u201cCaleb,\u201d 12, and \u201cRyan,\u201d 14.\u00a0On my last day there, I caught the boys doing something illicit.<\/p>\n

They were smoking weed in the backyard.\u00a0They claimed that their dad was OK with it.\u00a0Of course I didn\u2019t believe them and called my brother immediately.\u00a0His answer floored me: He not only told me he was aware of Caleb and Ryan getting high, he said they had his permission!\u00a0His excuse was that they were going to try weed anyway (like he did around their age), and he said he would rather they get baked in his home where he \u201cknew they were safe.\u201d<\/p>\n

I am appalled by Dave\u2019s attitude and disregard for my nephews\u2019 well-being and can\u2019t imagine my former sister-in-law is aware of what\u2019s happening.\u00a0 Is it my place to notify her of what my brother is allowing their kids to do when they are with him?<\/p>\n

\u2014Anti-Drug Aunt<\/p>\n

Dear Anti-Drug Aunt,\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I Can Hear Everything the \u201cSweet\u201d Old Couple Fights About Next Door. I\u2019m Mortified.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n


\n This Content is Available for Slate Plus members only<\/p>\n

My Kid Messed Around and Found Out. My Wife Wants to Blame Someone.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

Before you do anything, sit down with your brother and ask him for more details about why he allows his sons to smoke pot. You know: Pull up a chair, turn it around, and engage in some \u201creal talk\u201d with ol\u2019 bro. Is there something else going on? How you feeling, buddy? Get some assurance from your brother that he\u2019s really thought through his Cheech and Chong parenting approach. Find out how it started.<\/p>\n

I believe that\u2019s your best approach, because if you\u2019re indelicate and hostile, this could result in you and your brother no longer speaking, and you losing contact with your nephews. And if you do end up going to his ex, it could end up with your brother losing some of his privileges as a father. That will make things worse for everyone.<\/p>\n

But I see your point. Kids\u2019 brains are still growing. Marijuana isn\u2019t good for them. Talk to your brother about that. Tell him why you\u2019re concerned. You could even let him know that if it did get back to his ex that he was turning his head while the kids smoked, it could threaten their custody agreement.<\/p>\n

Until you have all the information, and you should take a breath, and keep your sister-in-law out of the chat.<\/p>\n

\u2014A.J.<\/p>\n

More Parenting Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

I live on a quiet semi-rural road with about a dozen small houses. No one has fences, so you can essentially walk across everyone\u2019s property. Most of my neighbors are retired or have near-adult children. We generally get along and often have get-togethers. Recently, one house was rented out to a young family. They have three children under 8 and the husband works all the time. The mother has been aggressively trying to make friends.<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here. Dear Care…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":820882,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[3005,3006,97,8284,6843],"class_list":["post-820881","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-health","tag-advice","tag-family","tag-health","tag-kids","tag-slate-plus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/820881","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=820881"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/820881\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/820882"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=820881"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=820881"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=820881"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}