Sarah, a 43-year-old from Anaheim, California, has finally had it with her partner of 20 years.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s financially irresponsible,\u201d she told The Ramsey Show<\/a> cohosts John Delony and George Kamel in a clip<\/a> posted July 2. \u201cHe\u2019s 56 and he\u2019s got maybe $8-10,000 in retirement savings.\u201d<\/p>\n Now, Sarah is seeking a path forward after admitting to both her partner and the cohosts she\u2019s unhappy with how things have turned out.<\/p>\n \u201cHe has shown you his cards,\u201d Delony bluntly put it. \u201cYou cannot do one single thing about anything that\u2019s come before this phone call. You\u2019re holding a pen and a blank piece of paper. You get to decide what story you write next.\u201d<\/p>\n The pair had been living together for 18 years, but never combined finances.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ve talked about money, we\u2019ve argued about money, we\u2019ve fought about money,\u201d Sarah explained. \u201cHe didn’t even put money into his 401(k) at work until I finally put my foot down.\u201d<\/p>\n On the other hand, Sarah is debt-free, with over $50,000 in savings, and has contributed to a 401(k)<\/a> at every step of her career.<\/p>\n Her partner is well off the pace of his peers in terms of retirement savings. According to Federal Reserve data<\/a>, as of 2022, the median retirement account balance among those aged 55-64 in the U.S. was $185,000.<\/p>\n Sarah admitted she\u2019d previously thought about leaving him, but wound up feeling guilty he might end up in financial peril.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re going to have to choose guilt over resentment, and there\u2019s a lot of resentment that\u2019s built up over 20 years of you carrying the load,\u201d Kamel said.<\/p>\n \u201cSit down with a friend, maybe a local counselor, and just get all this stuff out,\u201d Delony added. \u201cGo towards something. Don\u2019t just run into the night screaming, because you\u2019re going to end up right back in the same situation.\u201d<\/p>\n Read more: Americans are \u2018revenge saving\u2019 to survive \u2014 but millions only get a measly 1% on their savings. Here\u2019s how to quickly earn 280% more on your cash<\/a><\/p>\n In any long-term relationship, money issues can spark tension, but persistent financial irresponsibility is a different story. Refusing to change or take accountability or repeatedly draining shared resources causes stress, erodes trust and can place an unfair financial burden on one person.<\/p>\n Story Continues <\/p>\n If some of these things occur and you find you\u2019re often the one cleaning up the mess \u2014 whether that means tackling debt or managing all the long-term planning \u2014 it\u2019s worth assessing whether the dynamic is sustainable.<\/p>\n It\u2019s key for everyone in a relationship to be financially aligned. Ask yourself questions like: Are our goals the same? Can I trust them to make the right decisions for our future? Do I feel more like a parent or a partner?<\/p>\n