{"id":876155,"date":"2026-10-09T09:42:35","date_gmt":"2026-10-09T09:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/876155\/"},"modified":"2026-10-09T09:42:35","modified_gmt":"2026-10-09T09:42:35","slug":"our-house-season-9-premiere-our-wnba-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/876155\/","title":{"rendered":"Our House Season 9 Premiere – Our WNBA Game"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

Our House Season 9 Episode 1<\/p>\n

Alysa: Steven! Did you see that?<\/p>\n

Steven: See what? Did Caitlin take her first steps?<\/p>\n

Alysa: Why would you think that?<\/p>\n

Steven: You\u2019re shouting like something really important just happened.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Something important did just happen! The Washington Mystics just qualified for the WNBA playoffs!<\/p>\n

Steven: You watch the WNBA?<\/p>\n

Alysa: Yeah, my mom\u2019s a big fan.<\/p>\n

Frank: That explains it.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Come on, you guys have seen me watching it. Right?<\/p>\n

Steven: I\u2019m usually busy watching racing.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Once a week!<\/p>\n

Frank: I try not to spy on you kids too much.<\/p>\n

Alysa: No one in this house knew that I liked basketball?<\/p>\n

Betty: I did! I really felt like we could bond over it, until I realized you liked the Mystics.<\/p>\n

Alysa: What team do you like?<\/p>\n

Betty: The Fever!<\/p>\n

Cindy: I\u2019m a big fan of Soph-<\/p>\n

Betty: Don\u2019t even.<\/p>\n

Teri: Caitlin Clark!<\/p>\n

Betty: Yeah, she\u2019s pretty cool. I saw clips of her on the Facebook. That\u2019s why I started watching!<\/p>\n

Ralph: Are you sure they weren\u2019t AI? Facebook is almost exclusively AI these days.<\/p>\n

Teri: I went on there for about five minutes, saw a video of a dog getting a haircut at a barber shop, and just closed my computer.<\/p>\n

Cindy: Those videos are so funny!<\/p>\n

Teri: They are stupid! All AI is stupid!<\/p>\n

Cindy: That\u2019s not fair.<\/p>\n

Teri: To what? The computer generating the slop?<\/p>\n

Karl: They want to build one of those data centers in Lakey.<\/p>\n

Alysa: And that\u2019s a problem for a different day, because again, my Mystics are going to the playoffs! I want to go to the game they play at home. Steven, take me to the game!<\/p>\n

Steven: Um, uh\u2026<\/p>\n

Jerry: Wrong response, kid.<\/p>\n

Rick: Happy wife, happy life!<\/p>\n

Steven: I think it would be great to go to the game. We could use a night to ourselves.<\/p>\n

Tammi: Who said anything about going by yourselves? Uh-uh, you\u2019re not giving me a second grandchild by forty.<\/p>\n

Frank: Forty? Babe\u2026<\/p>\n

Tammi: I\u2019m not forty! I\u2019m thirty-six!<\/p>\n

Teri: Isn\u2019t it crazy that my niece is ten years older than I am?<\/p>\n

Betty: What\u2019s crazy is that you still haven\u2019t given me a grandchild. For all I know, Ralph\u2019s beaten you to it.<\/p>\n

Ralph: At least a 70% chance that\u2019s true, yes.<\/p>\n

Karl: I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s something to be proud of, son.<\/p>\n

Ralph: I didn\u2019t say I was proud. I was simply acknowledging the reality of the situation.<\/p>\n

Steven: Mom, we\u2019re married –<\/p>\n

Tammi: Enough of that! I don\u2019t want to be reminded.<\/p>\n

Steven: You were the one that said –<\/p>\n

Tammi: Because it\u2019s what God wants. Not what I want! I want my child to be a normal senior. I thought he was, I always bragged about how good you were and how you were so responsible. And then you had a baby at seventeen!<\/p>\n

Betty: If only Teri had the same dedication to reproduction.<\/p>\n

Teri: I think it\u2019s a bit odd to be upset I wasn\u2019t a teen mom.<\/p>\n

Betty: I\u2019d be okay with you having been a mom in her 30s, but that\u2019s passed you by, too!<\/p>\n

Ralph: Wow, she got you.<\/p>\n

Teri: Were we not talking about basketball?<\/p>\n

Alysa: I\u2019m so sorry I started this. In my defense, I was away the past few days, and somehow, that was enough for me to forget that you are all completely insane.<\/p>\n

Danielle: Give it time, you won\u2019t be able to forget eventually.<\/p>\n

Jerry: You choose to be here.<\/p>\n

Rick: I wish it were a choice for me and Jeanette.<\/p>\n

Jeanette: Let\u2019s not talk about being broke. We don\u2019t need to depress the kids any further.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Thank you, at least someone in this house is courteous.<\/p>\n

Betty: I\u2019m very courteous. It\u2019s why I will pay for your basketball tickets if you let me go with!<\/p>\n

Steven: Grandma Betty\u2026<\/p>\n

Betty: It\u2019ll be a fun family trip!<\/p>\n

Teri: No, it will not be. You make everything a production.<\/p>\n

Betty: I do not!<\/p>\n

Alysa: I think we should take her up on her offer. When else are we going to get free tickets to the WNBA Playoffs?<\/p>\n

Frank: Don\u2019t they usually just give those away?<\/p>\n

Alysa: I\u2019m sick of you guys disrespecting my passion!<\/p>\n

Jerry: We didn\u2019t even know it was your passion before ten minutes ago.<\/p>\n

Steven: Well, it is, so everyone lay off of it.<\/p>\n

Alysa: I could\u2019ve been in the WNBA one day if not for\u2026 you know.<\/p>\n

Tammi: Don\u2019t blame my son! You didn\u2019t even play basketball in high school, let alone in the pros!<\/p>\n

Cindy: Honey, please don\u2019t bicker with your daughter-in-law. It\u2019s so cliche.<\/p>\n

Ralph: Not to mention, Jesus wouldn\u2019t approve.<\/p>\n

Cindy: That felt like a dig, but I actually agree.<\/p>\n

Ralph: Of course you would.<\/p>\n

Karl: So how many tickets am I paying for? And how much is that going to cost?<\/p>\n

Betty: We\u2019re all going!<\/p>\n

Jerry: Oh, no thank you.<\/p>\n

Teri: Of course Jerry doesn\u2019t want to support women. I also don\u2019t want to go, but it\u2019s for a different reason. I don\u2019t want to drive to DC. Ew. I hate driving.<\/p>\n

Betty: The drive isn\u2019t that long!<\/p>\n

Alysa: I feel like I made a mistake asking you about this in front of other people.<\/p>\n

Steven: You did.<\/p>\n

Alysa: You know, the tickets are like $200.<\/p>\n

Karl: Betty, I am not paying $2400 for us to all see a basketball game.<\/p>\n

Steven: That\u2019s a lot of money. I didn\u2019t realize it was that expensive.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Am I not worth it to you?<\/p>\n

Jerry: Oh boy. Good luck with that one.<\/p>\n

Steven: I just don\u2019t want my grandmother paying that much money.<\/p>\n

Betty: It\u2019s no problem!<\/p>\n

Karl: We\u2019re not Rockefellers, honey.<\/p>\n

Betty: It can be their Christmas gift. It can be everyone\u2019s Christmas gift!<\/p>\n

Danielle: I\u2019d like to opt out and instead request a new coffee maker.<\/p>\n

Betty: That\u2019s not an option!<\/p>\n

Alysa: I really don\u2019t think we should force anyone to go if they don\u2019t want. Really, I was hoping for it to just be me and Steven, anyway. We need some alone time.<\/p>\n

Betty: I get it. I\u2019ll still get you the tickets. And then I\u2019ll just sit away from you guys.<\/p>\n

Karl: I don\u2019t really want you in an arena alone. I\u2019ll come with, too.<\/p>\n

Alysa: And that\u2019s it? Please?<\/p>\n

Jacqueline: I\u2019m too poor to have any opinion on this.<\/p>\n

Rick: God, I miss when we were rich.<\/p>\n

Teri: Me, too. That sailboat was something else!<\/p>\n

Rick: Please don\u2019t bring up the sailboat! It hurts too much!<\/p>\n

Teri: So we\u2019ve settled the basketball game drama?<\/p>\n

Alysa: Yes, it\u2019s just the four of us going. None of you have to go.<\/p>\n

Cindy: Hallelujah!<\/p>\n

Tammi: Are you sure you can handle chaperoning them, grandma?<\/p>\n

Steven: We\u2019re not kids, mom.<\/p>\n

Tammi: You are to me!<\/p>\n

Steven: We\u2019re adults, who are married and have a daughter. You don\u2019t have to watch over us and worry.<\/p>\n

Tammi: You being married and having a daughter is why I worry! You\u2019re so young! You should be enjoying life, being care-free. Instead, you\u2019ve had to grow up too fast!<\/p>\n

Teri: I think them being care-free got them in this situation, no?<\/p>\n

Tammi: Good point. Maybe don\u2019t be so care-free.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Don\u2019t worry, we use protection now.<\/p>\n

Tammi: Ah, don\u2019t tell me that!<\/p>\n

Frank: I think I\u2019m gonna go make dinner.<\/p>\n

Betty: Like hell you will! You don\u2019t cook! I\u2019m not trusting my dinner in your hands!<\/p>\n

Frank: I just needed an excuse to leave the room.<\/p>\n

Betty: Be my guest! I\u2019d love to not be around you!<\/p>\n

On game day\u2026<\/p>\n

Alysa: Guys, we gotta go! The game\u2019s at 7:30!<\/p>\n

Steven: It\u2019s not that late! We have plenty of time!<\/p>\n

Alysa: It\u2019s 4:30.<\/p>\n

Steven: We\u2019ve got three hours.<\/p>\n

Alysa: We have to be in our seats before the game starts.<\/p>\n

Steven: The game never starts on time!<\/p>\n

Betty: We do need to go, though. I don\u2019t want to be late. I want to meet Sonia Citron.<\/p>\n

Steven: Oh, I like Sonia Citron. She\u2019s cool.<\/p>\n

Alysa: She\u2019s cool? She\u2019s the greatest player to ever set foot on a court.<\/p>\n

Steven: All right, she\u2019s great, she walks on water, I wish I married her instead.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Better.<\/p>\n

Steven: You thought that was better? I just said I wished I married another woman.<\/p>\n

Jerry: Rookie mistake! They really don\u2019t like when you say that!<\/p>\n

Teri: Boy, I wonder why.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Steven, anyone who wouldn\u2019t marry Sonia Citron if given the chance is a moron. I\u2019d marry her!<\/p>\n

Cindy: Oh, no. Steven, I\u2019m sorry this is happening to you. I should\u2019ve seen the warning signs when she said she started watching the WNBA.<\/p>\n

Alysa: I think you took my statement wrong.<\/p>\n

Cindy: No, I don\u2019t think there was any other way to take it.<\/p>\n

Teri: We\u2019re very proud of you for speaking your truth.<\/p>\n

Alysa: I don\u2019t have time for this, we gotta go.<\/p>\n

Karl: I\u2019ll get the car started.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Tammi, you have my notes about Caitlin, right?<\/p>\n

Tammi: I know how to take care of my granddaughter, you don\u2019t have to worry. Have fun! And, grandma, keep an eye on these two.<\/p>\n

Steven: Mom, stop worrying about us!<\/p>\n

Tammi: I\u2019m not worried! I just know history has a tendency to repeat itself.<\/p>\n

Jerry: It didn\u2019t with you!<\/p>\n

Tammi: Because you were ten times worse than me! Frank and I were married, and you still didn\u2019t let us live in the same house until we were twenty.<\/p>\n

Teri: And look at us now!<\/p>\n

Ralph: Yeah, thanks for that.<\/p>\n

One hour later\u2026<\/p>\n

Alysa: This is a nightmare. And you wanted us to wait even longer to leave!<\/p>\n

Steven: I didn\u2019t realize the traffic would be this bad, sweetie.<\/p>\n

Alysa: It\u2019s DC! It\u2019s always bad!<\/p>\n

Karl: We\u2019re actually nowhere near DC yet.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Even better!<\/p>\n

Betty: We\u2019re gonna make it. It\u2019s gonna be okay. No need to panic yet.<\/p>\n

Steven: Grandma, I\u2019m really proud of you for saying that. You\u2019re usually more panicked than anyone!<\/p>\n

Betty: My therapist is working wonders!<\/p>\n

Karl: That, and she\u2019s heavily medicated today.<\/p>\n

Betty: Xanax! Love me some Xanax! A miracle drug!<\/p>\n

Alysa: I can\u2019t take Xanax, because I\u2019m breastfeeding, so I have to do Lexapro. Not as effective.<\/p>\n

Betty: Lexapro is like a flavorless Tic Tac.<\/p>\n

Karl: It works for me.<\/p>\n

Betty: Well, you\u2019re less crazy than I am.<\/p>\n

Karl: Very true.<\/p>\n

Steven: Oh look, we\u2019re moving! Everything\u2019s gonna be okay!<\/p>\n

Alysa: And we\u2019ve already stopped.<\/p>\n

One hour later\u2026<\/p>\n

Steven: I worry that we\u2019ve blown my wife\u2019s opportunity to meet and marry Sonia Citron.<\/p>\n

Alysa: To be fair, neither of us swing that way. She\u2019s dating a Dallas Cowboy.<\/p>\n

Karl: What an awful thing to have to admit.<\/p>\n

Steven: You don\u2019t like the Cowboys?<\/p>\n

Karl: Commanders, all the way!<\/p>\n

Betty: I never understood people who get crazy about football.<\/p>\n

Karl: You get crazy about football!<\/p>\n

Betty: I have to deny it for my own sanity. You\u2019ve seen how the Commanders are playing this season.<\/p>\n

Karl: Things can turn around.<\/p>\n

Betty: Why are the Giants #1 in the AFC East?<\/p>\n

Karl: NFC.<\/p>\n

Betty: What does that mean?<\/p>\n

Karl: It\u2019s the division they\u2019re in. Alongside the evil Dallas Cowboys.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Oh my god, we\u2019ve been in traffic so long that we\u2019re arguing about football! I don\u2019t even care about football!<\/p>\n

Steven: I don\u2019t really care about – never mind.<\/p>\n

Alysa: No, finish that thought.<\/p>\n

Steven: I did finish the thought.<\/p>\n

Alysa: No, you did not.<\/p>\n

Betty: We should play a game!<\/p>\n

Alysa: No thank you.<\/p>\n

Karl: I wish I could take a nap.<\/p>\n

Betty: I just know that Teri is gonna laugh at us for this.<\/p>\n

Two hours later\u2026<\/p>\n

Betty: You know, we did make it before halftime.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Oh my god.<\/p>\n

Steven: What? Why are you grabbing your chest? Did Sonia Citron look at you?<\/p>\n

Alysa: I just saw the score.<\/p>\n

Steven: What is it?<\/p>\n

Karl: I don\u2019t want to say. This has already been enough of a disaster, let\u2019s just find our seats and try to enjoy ourselves.<\/p>\n

Betty: I don\u2019t think that\u2019s gonna happen, they\u2019re down\u2026 a lot.<\/p>\n

Alysa: Do you think the Mystics will still come sign autographs for the fans if they lose?<\/p>\n

Steven: I\u2019ll get you that autograph. Don\u2019t worry!<\/p>\n

Alysa: Every time you say \u201cdon\u2019t worry,\u201d disaster follows.<\/p>\n

Steven: Worry a lot, the Mystics are going to lose!<\/p>\n

Alysa: I don\u2019t see how that helps anything.<\/p>\n

Later that night\u2026<\/p>\n

Danielle: So, how was the game?<\/p>\n

Alysa: I want to die.<\/p>\n

Danielle: That good, huh?<\/p>\n

Steven: There was a lot of crying. Not really by the Mystics, mostly just by Alysa. A lot of it before we even got to the arena.<\/p>\n

Alysa: We missed half the game.<\/p>\n

Betty: It was still a fun experience! I had fun!<\/p>\n

Steven: And just think, Sonia scored 25 points!<\/p>\n

Alysa: And it still wasn’t enough. I think I’ve had enough of sports for a lifetime.<\/p>\n

Jerry: The faster you realize it, the better. Sports is a waste of time. Now, put the game back on, Frank.<\/p>\n

What did you think of the season premiere of Our House? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!<\/p>\n


\n\"Rebecca
\n<\/a><\/p>\n

Share this<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Our House Season 9 Episode 1 Alysa: Steven! Did you see that? Steven: See what? Did Caitlin take…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":876156,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[368674,99,104315,368675,434],"class_list":["post-876155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-wnba","tag-our-house-season-9-premiere-our-wnba-game","tag-sports","tag-the-tv-ratings-guide","tag-the-tv-ratings-guide-our-house-season-9-premiere-our-wnba-game","tag-wnba"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=876155"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876155\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/876156"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=876155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=876155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=876155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}