![\"The](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/685300a1190000d16c2477ca.png\")
The author at the Elephant Nature Park in Chiang Mai, Thailand.<\/p>\nHer undulating tongue moved wet and slippery against my hand as her trunk pressed the unpeeled bananas into her mouth. I wore a blue canvas bag, laden with sugarcane and bananas, and I was surrounded by elephants. <\/p>\n
It was my last day in Thailand after making the painful decision to abort my trip 10 days early. I was homesick and missing my 15-year-old daughter, Sophie, who was in Bangladesh with my soon-to-be ex-husband. It was our first summer holiday apart since the January night six months prior when he\u2019d informed me that our 20-year marriage was over. <\/p>\n
\u201cMy soul is deeply unhappy.\u201d<\/p>\n
He\u2019d told me over a dinner of Costco salad.<\/p>\n
Losing my marriage was difficult, his admitted infidelity was worse, and the summer away from my daughter was the hardest of all. <\/p>\n
My husband and I had been fighting with an explosive vengeance as we unraveled our marriage, screaming things that couldn\u2019t be taken back during late-night phone calls and hastily-typed texts featuring f-bombs and accusations. After every fight, I\u2019d felt ashamed of the horrible things I\u2019d said in response to the horrible things he\u2019d said \u2014 loop after loop after loop. Six months earlier, he\u2019d been my best friend, and I couldn\u2019t reconcile how quickly we\u2019d become enemies. <\/p>\n
That morning, before visiting the elephants, my face had looked older than its 49 years. In makeup consisting of shadows and tear trails, I wore a mask of crepey, dehydrated skin. My hangover had nothing to do with beer and everything to do with a desolate night of crying myself dry in a cheap hotel room. Emotional pain this deep was corporeal. The fight had been a doozy that left me literally bruised, as I\u2019d pounded my thighs with my fists at 2 a.m. after hanging up the phone for the last time. <\/p>\n
I needed help. I shouldn\u2019t be hitting myself, nor starving myself, though it was difficult to eat with the phantom golf ball that had lodged in my throat for the past six months. I\u2019d lost 30 lbs. When I returned to New Jersey, I\u2019d look for a therapist, I promised myself. <\/p>\n
Today, though \u2014 my last in Chiang Mai \u2014 elephants. I\u2019d chosen Elephant Nature Park because of its mission as a sanctuary and rehabilitation center. There was no riding, no circus tricks, no prodding with hooks. Elephants were brought to ENP to live their best pachyderm lives, tromping through the verdant jungle and rolling in thick mud by the river. I\u2019d done my research and felt confident these rescued elephants were well-cared-for and that I would not be contributing to the problem. I hoped I could put last night\u2019s fight behind me and be present. <\/p>\n
A minivan pulled up to the meeting place where I stood alone. Its door opened wide enough for me to feel the air conditioning drift out into the humid Southeast Asian summer air. <\/p>\n
\u201cVanderVeen?\u201d The middle-aged man at the wheel asked, looking down his bifocals at the folded scrap of paper in his hand. He wore a white polo shirt with the ENP logo on his left breast. <\/p>\n
\u201cYep,\u201d I said, my voice sounding as scratchy as it felt. <\/p>\n
A fierce, purple bruise, my souvenir from the previous night, seeped across my thigh as it scraped the fabric of the loose-fitting pants I\u2019d bought for $1.50 at the Chiang Mai Night Market. I limped and winced as I made my way up the van\u2019s stairs to an empty seat. <\/p>\n
A head popped up from the row in front of me, and a friendly voice said, \u201cHi! We\u2019re Kate!\u201d<\/p>\n
Her companion laughed and said, \u201cShe\u2019s Kate. I\u2019m Carol.\u201d I smiled without meaning it and returned the greeting. Behind me, a blisteringly adorable young couple held hands adorned with shiny new wedding rings. <\/p>\n
Outside the window, Northern Thailand was lush mountains, dirt roads lined with villages, children, dogs and chickens. The bus lurched as it ascended the steep mountain on what, though only one lane, was a two-way road. When cars approached us, the van pulled over into yards and gullies, making the bumpy ride bumpier. <\/p>\n
Arriving at camp, we washed our hands to protect the elephants and set off to find them. The sandy path was flanked on both sides by jungle. My heavy bag of fruit banged against my bruised thigh, and I was angry \u2014 at myself, at him, at this unwanted divorce. <\/p>\n
I felt the prickle of emerging tears when suddenly, the elephants appeared with their mahouts. They knew why we\u2019d come and ambled jauntily toward us like horses returning to the stable at the end of the day. <\/p>\n
The author at the Elephant Nature Park in Chiang Mai, Thailand.<\/p>\n
Courtesy of Lisa VanderVeen<\/p>\n
\u201cFeed them the bananas first, then sugarcane,\u201d the mahouts instructed protectively. \u201cThey think the sugarcane is dessert.\u201d <\/p>\n
A leathery, muscular trunk ventured toward me, startling me with its languid athleticism. The elephant regarded me kindly through a curtain of long gray lashes as if asking permission, then came closer, in a nonthreatening way that put me at ease. Stout, whisker-like hairs anchored the dirt crown atop her head. She nudged my bag, and I gave her a banana.<\/p>\n
I offered one at a time, but she collected them until she was holding six in the crook of her trunk, then used its pointy tip to guide them into her triangular mouth. Her huge, wet tongue didn\u2019t protrude but, rather, swirled like a washing machine within her mouth, masticating the fruit. I cautiously reached out my hand, touching a jowl. It felt like it looked: loose yet muscular, creviced flesh soft and mighty. <\/p>\n
The two elephants I was feeding were mother and daughter. Mama\u2019s leg had been broken while dragging logs through the jungle. It was misshapen, and she walked with a limp. The logging industry, irresponsible breeding practices, landmines and reckless tourism had decimated the elephant population in Thailand. Lek, the founder of Elephant Nature Park, had made admirable strides in saving these gentle creatures. I wondered how I would walk through the world with my own daughter, now that I, too, had a limp. <\/p>\n
Kate stepped up beside me. Her face, with striking light blue eyes framed by a mass of tawny ringlets, was open and warm. <\/p>\n
\u201cThis is my second time this week,\u201d she confessed. \u201cI turned 50 this year, and my birthday wish was to come to Thailand and spend as much time as possible with the elephants.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m turning 50 this year, too,\u201d I told her with a grimace. <\/p>\n
\u201cI love 50!\u201d She said enthusiastically, then asked, \u201cWhere are you from?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNew Jersey,\u201d I said. <\/p>\n
I was shocked. I\u2019d been in Southeast Asia for four and a half weeks and had barely met any Americans, let alone one from my home state. <\/p>\n
Last winter, days after my husband left, I\u2019d wept beside Gail and Andi, two of my best friends. <\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you want your future to look like?\u201d they\u2019d asked. <\/p>\n
\u201cNo idea. I don\u2019t even know what kind of music I like,\u201d I\u2019d said.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d lost myself in being a wife and a mother, and now that he was gone and Sophie was in high school and needed me less, I didn\u2019t recognize my life. <\/p>\n
\u201cThe only thing I know I want to do is travel,\u201d I\u2019d said, resolutely. So here I was, alone in Thailand. <\/p>\n
\u201cHow long are you here?\u201d Kate asked, reaching out to caress the flank of the elephant who had joined our conversation. <\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a complicated story. I was supposed to go to Laos from here, but I\u2019m going home tomorrow,\u201d I told her, sharing the bones of the past few months. <\/p>\n
\u201cOof, that\u2019s a lot,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a therapist. I specialize in helping women transition through divorce, and in my \u2018professional opinion,\u2019 that sounds like a lot,\u201d she said, forming air quotes with her fingers. <\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know if you know this, but elephants hold a lot of symbolism,\u201d she said. \u201cThey\u2019re so big, they clear obstacles, creating a path for those behind them to follow. Some cultures believe they represent new beginnings. Maybe you\u2019re here to start your new thing.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI was shocked. I\u2019d been in Southeast Asia for four and a half weeks and had barely met any Americans, let alone one from my home state.\u201d<\/p>\n
We arrived at the end of the jungle path, and the elephants continued to the river while we had lunch on a wooden platform overlooking the water. Spring rolls, vegetable stir fry, fruit and coconut mousse filled our table. After lunch, we mixed mango, banana and rice into balls for the elephants\u2019 dinner. <\/p>\n
My hands were soothed by the familiar, tactile exercise, which reminded me of making meatballs at home. They were Sophie\u2019s comfort food, and I\u2019d made them for her since she was a little girl. I wondered with a clenched stomach how she was doing in Bangladesh. <\/p>\n
Dinner made, we walked to the river. The elephants liked to have a bath, then roll in mud to cool down and give themselves comfort from the sun. I\u2019d looked forward to getting in the river with them, but I was scared by the potential for muck. I don\u2019t like muck, nor the leeches it harbors. <\/p>\n
Kate looked over at me, seemingly sensing my apprehension.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019ll clear the obstacles,\u201d she winked, nodding at the elephants who\u2019d already walked into the river. <\/p>\n
The brown water eddied around them, but the bottom wasn\u2019t muck. It was sandy, and it invited me in. We tossed water on the elephants with plastic buckets, bathing them and ourselves in the river. <\/p>\n
Our final activity of the day was rafting back downriver to basecamp. Kate\u2019s friend Carol was not a fan of rafting, so she chose to return by van. This left Kate and me alone on a raft, with a boatsman rowing and steering us back. The prior night\u2019s fight and my lack of sleep had caught up to me. It was 4 p.m. and I was spent. <\/p>\n
As we made our way downriver, the tears came. I\u2019d restrained them all day, but they were out now, and there was no stuffing them back in. For a moment, I was embarrassed to share my grief so openly with a stranger, even one who happened to be a therapist. But in that moment, my heart was stripped naked. I apologized, wiping my eyes. <\/p>\n
Kate looked at me with compassion and empathy.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t apologize. I\u2019m glad we met today and I could be here for you,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n
Six months passed, and I was back in New Jersey. My divorce was final, and the bruise on my leg had healed. It had evolved through a kaleidoscope of colors from indigo to green to jaundice, painting my thigh for months. My despair over our divorce was beginning to subside, too, though I had a long way to go. <\/p>\n
Eventually, I felt ready to print photos from my trip and put them in an album. I found a photo on my phone that had been taken by Carol. It was my favorite photo of the whole month-long trip. In the dichotomous hell and magic of the day, she\u2019d captured my joyful smile as the elephant behind me in the river sprayed a halo of water from its trunk. Looking back, it feels like a baptism \u2014 the beginning of a new life. <\/p>\n
![\"The](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/685300a31900004e6c88158a.png\")
The author in the river with an elephant.<\/p>\n
Courtesy of Lisa VanderVeen<\/p>\n
Two years later, I googled Kate. She\u2019s been my therapist for five years now. It took me that long to recognize the gift I wasn\u2019t ready to receive back then. <\/p>\n
I could have skipped Elephant Nature Park and stayed back in my hotel, sleeping off the fight and marinating in my pain. Instead, I summoned the energy to get out the door, fulfilling my long-held dream of meeting elephants up close. More importantly, the day handed me a roadmap to healing, kicking me in the pants to seek therapy.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve created a new life for myself \u2014 one more rewarding than I had in my marriage. I\u2019ve become a solo traveler and writer, made new friends and forged a successful career as a school administrator. Try as we might, we can\u2019t control life\u2019s twists and turns. But, if you get out there and keep going, the universe might hand you just what you need. <\/p>\n
Lisa VanderVeen is an award-winning travel writer whose recent work has been published in The Saturday Evening Post, Business Insider, New Jersey Monthly, and River Teeth Journal, among others. You can find her at www.lisavanderveenwrites.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n This piece was previously published on HuffPost and is being shared now as part of HuffPost Personal\u2019s \u201cBest Of\u201d series.<\/p>\n Do you have a compelling personal story you\u2019d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we\u2019re looking for here<\/a> and send us a pitch at pitch@huffpost.com.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Her undulating tongue moved wet and slippery against my hand as her trunk pressed the unpeeled bananas into…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":889255,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[14837,10557,79,2024,2427,201],"class_list":["post-889254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-wildlife","tag-divorce","tag-elephants","tag-science","tag-thailand","tag-travel","tag-wildlife"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/889254","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=889254"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/889254\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/889255"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=889254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=889254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=889254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}