{"id":918012,"date":"2026-11-15T09:06:10","date_gmt":"2026-11-15T09:06:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/918012\/"},"modified":"2026-11-15T09:06:10","modified_gmt":"2026-11-15T09:06:10","slug":"snl-cold-open-jensen-huang-tech-ceos-get-a-crash-course-in-female-spies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/918012\/","title":{"rendered":"‘SNL’ Cold Open: Jensen Huang, Tech CEOs Get a Crash Course in Female Spies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\tSaturday Night Live<\/a> opened with host John Mulaney<\/a> instructing a naive group of tech leaders how to tell whether a woman is genuinely interested in them or is a spy trying to extract valuable information from them, as may be the case<\/a> with ousted Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang<\/a>. <\/p>\n

\n\tMulaney, as a CIA officer, summons Peter Thiel (James Austin Johnson), Sam Altman (Ben Marshall), Dario Amodei (Jane Wickline), Mark Zuckerberg (Andrew Dismukes) and Elon Musk (Jeremy Culhane) to agency headquarters to brief them on a matter of national security. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cAmerica needs you to learn the difference between a woman who would actually want to have sex with you, and a woman who is clearly a spy,\u201d Mulaney says. He then asks the group what the lesson in Huang\u2019s downfall is. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cNever date a Chinese woman,\u201d Amodei says. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cNever date a human woman,\u201d Zuckerberg answers. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cNever date anyone, lest they become the antichrist,\u201d Thiel says.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\n\tMulaney then tries using a Venn diagram to get his point across. The diagram shows two circles that do not overlap one bit: \u201cbeautiful women\u201d and \u201cyour interests and opinions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cSo,\u201d he asks the group, \u201cif someone is both of these things, then they are a what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cAn angel,\u201d Amodei replies confidently. <\/p>\n

\n\tWhen informed that this person would be a spy, Musk goes on one of his unfunny tangents about James Bond, prompting Mulaney to squirt him with a water bottle to get him to shut up.<\/p>\n

\n\tA second Venn diagram gets introduced after Zuckerberg says that if a woman approached him, he would interpret it as a sign that she \u201cwanted to sleep with the man who created the Metaverse, as all women do.\u201d This diagram also has \u201cbeautiful women\u201d in one circle. And in a much, much smaller circle to the right for \u201cpeople who like the metaverse,\u201d there is an image of just Zuckerberg.<\/p>\n

\t\tTrending Stories<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cMaybe it would help if I handed this over to someone who learned this lesson the hard way,\u201d Mulaney says, as former SNL<\/a> cast member Bowen Yang<\/a> enters as Huang. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cLadies, when you invite Jensen over, you know what\u2019s about to go down: the S&P 500,\u201d he says. \u201cThat\u2019s right, I\u2019m into BDSM: breaking the stock market. Fellas, don\u2019t be like me. Remember, women don\u2019t like guys like us. That\u2019s how we became guys like us.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Saturday Night Live opened with host John Mulaney instructing a naive group of tech leaders how to tell…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":918013,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[12395,236,88,11379,38807,11448,12015,12016],"class_list":["post-918012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-celebrities","tag-bowen-yang","tag-celebrities","tag-entertainment","tag-jensen-huang","tag-john-mulaney","tag-late-night-tv","tag-saturday-night-live","tag-snl"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/918012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=918012"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/918012\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/918013"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=918012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=918012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=918012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}