An international student has struck a chord with thousands after describing Sydney as ‘beautiful but lonely’.
The young man, who moved to Australia from India for university, has sparked a wave of responses from locals and expats who agree the city’s social scene can be notoriously hard to crack.
Sharing his experience in an honest Reddit thread, the man said that while the harbour city is ‘absolutely stunning’, he’s found it ‘antisocial’ and difficult to connect with people, both on campus and in day-to-day life.
‘Everybody’s on their phones all the time, everybody seems very busy all the time,’ he wrote.
‘Making friends seems like a hard task for now.’
Many agreed, with some saying it’s not just Sydney, but a wider Australian cultural pattern where friendliness doesn’t necessarily translate into friendship.
‘People will be friendly and it’s easy to chat, but that’s not the same as getting someone [to slow down enough to] befriend them,’ one replied.
They advised joining regular groups or hobbies and spending more time outside the CBD, where social circles can be more open.
A post from an international student has struck a chord online, after they described Sydney as ‘beautiful but lonely’
Others compared Sydney to cities overseas, saying the difference in openness was striking.
One man recalled joining a running club while travelling in Europe and making friends instantly, some of whom stayed in touch until his next visit.
‘It gave me a massive confidence boost,’ he said.
Some pointed to what they saw as a deeper social problem.
‘There’s an unspoken Australian culture of being friendly to many, but only friends with people [who] can get them somewhere,’ one wrote.
‘If you’re out solo, it looks like you’re [not worth talking to].’
Others described Sydney as a place where established social networks go back decades, making it tough for outsiders to break in.
‘Unless you were raised here and made school friends in affluent suburbs, they aren’t interested in making friends with you. You’re irrelevant and invisible,’ one commenter claimed.
Others described Sydney as a place where established social networks go back decades, making it tough for outsiders to break in
Several shared similar experiences in other Australian cities, saying smaller capitals like Adelaide could also feel closed off.
‘Everyone knows everyone from childhood. It’s almost impossible to make friends with the locals here and they look at you weird if you even walk alone,’ a woman shared.
Some suggested Sydney’s culture of constant busyness – and even tall poppy syndrome – played a role, making people less willing to engage openly with strangers.
Tall poppy syndrome is a term often used in Australia and New Zealand to describe the tendency to criticise, resent, or cut down people who are perceived as more successful, talented, or ambitious than others.
The idea comes from the metaphor of cutting down the tallest poppies in a field so they don’t stand out.
While it can act as a social leveller, many say it discourages achievement and makes people less willing to celebrate others’ wins – or even put themselves out there in the first place.
However, a few argued the city’s drinking culture was one of the few remaining avenues for spontaneous socialising.
While a few commenters insisted it’s possible to build a thriving social life in Sydney, they admitted it takes extra effort – and often the most welcoming circles are made up of other ‘out-of-towners’ in the same boat.
As one long-term resident summed it up after seven years.
‘Even with friends it’s a lonely city. It’s superficial, not very friendly. Melbourne and Perth are significantly more welcoming,’ they wrote.