I’m on a boat in Miami, surrounded by 150 young, hot influencers and their always-filming companions, waiting for the surely packed-to-legal-capacity cruise to start. It was supposed to depart at noon, but it’s now 1:30 p.m., with no sign yet of the day’s high-profile host. The open bar and multiple decks of DJs have kept the livestreaming hordes entertained, but it’s 93F outside, and I’m ready to see this ship move. Finally, Floyd Mayweather Jr. shows up dockside, flanked by an entourage including a personal photographer, several assistants, his public-relations team and a few big security guards who tower over him. Still, even at 5 feet 8 inches, the former pro boxer has the deadliest hands on the boat.
Mayweather boards and immediately heads upstairs for a big surprise planned on the top deck. I try to follow, but so does the swarm of content creators in heels. Before I know it, I’m practically spooning with strangers all trying to ascend the same small steel staircase, briefly contorting my body against the railing to let 6-foot-8-inch NBA player Aaron Gordon through. Word trickles down in a sweaty game of telephone: Security has cut off access to the top deck for safety reasons, and we’re all stuck. But then someone spots me, clocks that I’m a journalist and yanks me up like I’m being pulled onstage at a concert. I’ve made it, at last, to the surprisingly chaotic launch party for Mayweather’s line of dietary supplements.