Sharing meals is often one of the first routines couples build together, and it can reveal differences that are harder to navigate than expected. A simple task meant to show care can slowly turn into a source of stress when expectations around food do not align.
It also raises a more personal issue many couples face when living together: how repeated frustrations over food can signal deeper challenges in communication and balance within a relationship.
Image credit: Shutterstock.com
The story
A recent Reddit thread sparked thousands of comments about a perfectly acceptable dinner (pork, broccoli, and a baked potato), only to be rejected once again by her boyfriend. She said her boyfriend is an extremely picky eater, and she can never get his food right. She’s discouraged and has never had a problem with anyone else liking her food. She feels like he keeps making up new food rules, making it harder and harder to cook for him.
She does what she can because he can’t cook at all. She thinks many of the issues stem from how he grew up, but she is deeply frustrated and doesn’t know what to do.
The internet didn’t hold back their thoughts, and the thread had over 38,000 comments.
The reactions
One person said, “Stop cooking for him. Let him make frozen pizzas for himself.”
Many people agreed with this comment. Stop trying to please him and make all these different meals, and let him make his own. He’s an adult and more than capable. If he can’t cook, he can pour himself a bowl of cereal or make some toast.
Photo credit: Canva Pro
Another jokingly said. “I’ll be your boyfriend!!!! (I am a 29 year old woman).”
There were a ton of people in the thread who mentioned that they were single or would love to have a partner like her. It just goes to show there is no need to settle when people will appreciate you.
This comment nailed it. “Just let him figure out his own meals. You aren’t his mother.”
Exactly. She’s not his mother. She doesn’t need to baby him or take care of him in that way. That’s not a partnership, it’s controlling.
One person said, “Rejected? Do you mean you got delicious seconds and he made himself something to eat?”
Hopefully, she didn’t waste the food on the plate. It was a delicious meal that anyone else would have loved to eat.
Point blank. “This dude sounds insufferable.”
He does. Nothing is ever going to be good enough for him. He’s making it quite clear that he has no issue changing things on her at the drop of a hat, expecting her to react.
Photo credit: Canva Pro
Sad, but true. “My ex was like this. New rules every time I thought I got it right and mastered the gymnastics of it all. I figured out the rules kept changing because I was never meant to get it right. It’s a form of abuse.”
It is a form of abuse. It’s also a narcissistic personality trait to expect people to play by new rules that are created daily. The truth is that the rules will always change, the bar will always be moved, and she’ll never be able to give him what he wants because he doesn’t even know.
Another person wrote, “That looks delicious! Would eat 10/10.”
The picture of the meal she made really does look delicious. It was perfectly portioned and looked cooked to perfection.
This person made a good point. “You do have to ask yourself, though, if this is the treatment you want your kids to see. Because trust, they are watching and absorbing all of it.”
Very true. If kids see this kind of behavior and see that it’s catered to, what message is that sending to them? She has to be strong for herself and for others.
Image credit: Canva Pro
When nothing ever feels good enough
Living with someone who is never satisfied can wear down even the most patient person. It’s discouraging when the goalposts keep moving. The constant change sends the message that the effort itself will never be enough.
Addressing this dynamic requires shifting the focus from the food to expectations. If one person is a picky eater, that does not mean another person is responsible for finding ways to feed them. Satisfaction is not something that can be cooked into a dish when the standard itself remains undefined or constantly changing.
Clear boundaries can help reset the balance. That may mean agreeing to a limited rotation of meals or separating responsibility altogether so that meals are no longer a nightly obligation. It also means accepting that opting out of a meal is fine, but criticizing the effort behind it is not.
The larger issue is whether both people feel respected. When one person is consistently adjusting while the other remains passive, dissatisfaction becomes a relationship problem rather than a food problem. Resolving it depends less on finding the perfect dinner and more on deciding what level of effort and flexibility each person is willing to offer in return.